Heartbeat
by RunWithJacobBlack
Summary: AU / Jacob doesn't know a life without Renesmee, nor does he want to know. But when she becomes sick, he is forced to live a life without her. And with what happened to Ness, will it save someone elses life thanks to Jacob? Will he find a new life & love?
1. The Fight

_**Author's Note: I've had this idea for a while now and I really wanted to write it even know I knew it was going to be really hard in more ways than just one. I can relate to this story quiet easily as it is something similar to what I've had happen. I wanted to raise awareness to the subject of donating life.**_

_**This story isn't going to be very long, but I do want people to let me know what they think of it. I thought this also showed how differently I can write as it was a bit more of a challenge for me to get the right emotions for the situation to usual and took longer to write because of it.**_

_**Also, I've made The Cullens human, but kept the Wolf Pack for a very important reason which you will see towards the end of the story. **_

_**Most of this story is from Jacob's Point of View, but towards the end it will be changed, but it will be noted when that happens. This story is for anyone that can read and can relate to heartache and pain, though this does have a happy ending, even if you can't see it coming.**_

**_Here is the official banner for Heartbeat, though the banner may not make much sense right now, it will at the end of the story._**

http:/runwithjacobblack(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/Heartbeat-198292405

_**Hope you all enjoy it!**_

_**- Sky**_

* * *

_**Preface**_

With each person that you meet in life, they will alter your life significantly. Maybe for the good, maybe for the bad, but whatever aspect it changes your life, it was meant to happen, either to teach you or someone else a lesson, or for you to help someone that needs you. Everyone you meet was brought into your life for a reason. Wither its love, friendship, or something completely different, there is always a reason attached to it.

I know that my life was altered in so many ways possible after I met Renesmee. She changed me without even trying and she was only nine. She taught me so much that was good, things that probably I wouldn't have ever learnt or changed to without meeting someone like her.

I remember what I was like before I met her and how things changed after. She gave me back my life. She had saved my life without even trying, and I knew that I couldn't live without her . . . but then it came to the point that I had to.

If you have a heart, can read or have ever lost someone close to your heart, that you thought that you couldn't live without, you need to read our story, _my_ story. Things, plans and dreams change when one person is taken from you and another placed into your life. I thought I was dealing with things well, in my own weird way, but I wasn't. And someone showed me how my dealing with things weren't right. I was glad to have that person in my life at the time. I had gone back to my old life and was shown that I didn't have to, just at the right time, again. . . I realized then, I was in _her_ life for a reason, and I knew what that reason was.

I wasn't afraid anymore. I was doing what I was meant to do in my life!

* * *

My smile gleamed over to Renesmee, seeing her long brown hair flowing softly in the light breeze around us and her deep chocolate eyes in the moonlight as we took a long walk from La Push beach to her home in Forks. It was night, and it was warm, just the way we both loved the weather. I closely watched her smiling and laughing back at everything I said. It seemed to be that anything I did or said made her laugh lately. I loved her so much. I didn't know what I would do without her! She was my life and everything. She was what made my heart beat.

I looked up to the bright moon shining down on us, nearing Forks. It was a peaceful and quiet night. I hadn't ever felt happier in my life than at that moment then. Everything in my life seemed perfect. I had amazing girlfriend that I couldn't live without, I had my great friends Quil and Embry, my pack brothers, my father and sisters and not to mention a successful mechanic shop that I owned and loved. I had everything but one thing . . . a wife and a family and I was ready for both. I had known Renesmee for ten years now and I wanted to make her mine.

I took her hand softly as she leant into the warmth of my body as we kept walking. She felt so cold against me compared to usual. I had been noticing that she felt colder against me a lot lately. I wondered if it was just me changing with the whole Alpha of the pack thing, or if it really was her. Either way, I loved keeping her warm in my arms.

I looked to Renesmee, wondering if she was okay. Her steps were light and something just didn't seem right about her.

"Are you okay Ness?" I asked, rubbing the side of her arm with my hand softly.

"Just tired," she murmured, a smiling lighting her face as she leant into me more. I got the feeling that it was something more, but I didn't know how I was getting that feeling. It was like someone was telling me in words of a fact. I held onto her tighter, not wanting to let her go for a second.

Feeling her weight go light against me, knew for the second time this month she had fainted. I held her tightly against me, picking her up in my arms. "Ness, wake up," I nudged her, but she didn't wake. My eyes squeezed tightly, wishing I knew what was happening to her. There was nothing worse than this, not knowing. It was bad enough the last time when she fainted for a second and then woke up, but this was ten times worse.

I softly set her down against my knee as I called Carlisle for help. I didn't know who else could help this far out of Forks that knew Renesmee. I knew she hated hospitals and didn't trust people easily, so it was lucky that her grandfather was a doctor.

"Jacob what's wrong?" he asked soon as he picked up the phone, probably seeing my number on caller ID.

"It's happened again, she's fainted."

"What happened? How long has she been out?"

"Like two minutes. Can you just come now, please?"

"Where are you?"

"Just outside of Forks… By the road," so much was running through my head, I had forgotten where we were. I had to look around to remember. It was getting harder and harder to think clearly and stay calm. Why did this have to happen?

"I'll be there in a few. Just keep her warm Jacob."

I hung up, throwing my phone back in the pocket of my jeans. I held her close, praying that she would be okay. I didn't know what I would ever do without her. Renesmee was my life! I would do and be anything for her. She meant the world to me . . . it was pure fact.

I felt her pulse in her wrist. It was okay, but I could tell that it was a little too slow and that she was cold. I looked around, knowing that I wasn't able to keep her warm like this and that I couldn't let her get cold.

"Ness, can you hear me?" I nudged her and her eyes opened slightly, murmuring my name almost silently.

I held her tightly against me, a small smile coming to my face, just happy to hear her faint voice. "I'm right here okay. I just want to keep you warm."

She shook her head, holding onto my shirt tightly but weakly. "Don't leave me."

"I'm not. I'm right here." I stroked the side of her face with my hand as she fainted again. I sighed, sick of waiting for Carlisle. She was getting too cold. I had to do something fast and there was only one thing I could think of that would help her.

I lay down beside her so that she was supported but the side of my body, knowing how dangerous this was, but I was left with no other option. I phased slowly, not wanting to hurt her with a sudden animal instinct taking over me. I watched her carefully, not taking my eyes off her. Again her eyes opened and she looked up to me with a smile on her face as she saw me as a wolf instead of a human. She leant into my shoulder, resting her head against my russet coat.

"You silly wolf," she murmured, before going silent. I hoped that she fell asleep and not fainted again. I nudged her softly, resting my head next to her, keeping her warm and sheltered from the breeze around us that was turning colder as the night air set in. Her arms wrapped around my neck, but her eyes didn't open. I sighed, not knowing what more I could do. I hated playing the waiting game, it sucked big time!

I looked up to the sky, wondering why this was happening to us. It wasn't fair! Neither of us had done anything wrong, ever.

I felt my eyes turn glassy and couldn't help but howl loudly. Maybe one of the others could hear me and help, maybe the gods could hear me and help. Either way, I just wanted her to be okay. I didn't care who helped us, I just wanted her to be okay. She meant more than my own life to me.

Finally I could hear the gentle hum of Carlisle's car coming around the corner. I nudged Renesmee softly, waking her up. Her eyes opened slowly and weakly, looking up to me and then over her shoulder to where Carlisle had just pulled up. He got out of the car quickly, picking her up carefully.

"Grandpa?" she questioned.

"I'm here Renesmee. Everything is going to be okay. Thank you Jacob, you've done well," he nodded, placing her in the car.

I stood up watching him, wishing that there was a way for me to stay with her, but I couldn't like this.

'_Keep her safe_,' I thought, but knew that he wouldn't be able to hear me.

As he drove off, I kept close to the road but hidden in the think scrub near the road, howling. I wanted her to know that I hadn't left her even for a second, that I was nearby and hadn't forgotten her.

I looked up to the moon as I ran, seeing that it was full and it was getting late. I was thankful that it was getting late, it would be harder to get caught phasing back to normal and the last thing I needed was to have a headline in the newspaper and on the news, _'Werewolf found.'_

I stopped across the road from the hospital, then cursing to myself when I didn't have clothes to change into now. I would have to go back home and get some. Just as I was about to turn back, I sensed someone near me, I looked over my shoulder and seen Embry there. He seemed tense. I wondered if he already knew what was going on. He was good friends with Renesmee and he was almost as protective of her as I was. I guess that's what I get for having a great best friend like Embry.

"Here Jake," he threw a brown tank top, jeans and shoes in front of me.

"Thanks," I said breathlessly from running. "How did you know that I needed them?"

"I heard you running, but you weren't listening to me. What happened?"

"Oh." I guess I had too much thinking of my own to take any notice of the others around me, which still seemed odd that I hadn't heard him anyway.

"Renesmee fainted. Carlisle's taking her in now." I did the last lace on my shoe and stood up, starting to walk across the street.

"What do you think did it? The heat maybe?" he questioned, following me quickly.

"I don't think so. It's happened twice now."

I ran across the road, not waiting for him to catch up. The sliding doors opened soon as we approached. I went to the front office and waited for a lady to come over that was fixing some papers into files out the back. Then finally she came over to me with a slight smile on her pale face. She looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"Renesmee Cullen, please?"

"Renesmee Cullen is with Doctor Cullen right now in room fourteen."

"Thank you," I shouted quietly as I took off running towards the rooms, again not waiting for Embry. It was dark in the halls with most of the lights out, but I managed to find her room. Carlisle quietly walked out of her room, closing the door behind him. I didn't like the look on his face. It had both worry and fear all over his face, but I had to remain hopeful, this was Renesmee we were talking about, the love of my life that I couldn't and wouldn't live without.

He lifted his head when he heard me coming, before looking away. I thought that was odd and then I knew that he had remembered that he knew I could read people just by the way they looked at me. Something was really wrong.

"What's going on? What happened?"

"Her pulse is low, she's a little cold, but I've ran some tests and we should know by morning."

"Morning?That's too far away!"

"It's the best we can do at this time of the night Jacob. I'm sorry."

Embry met us with us then. He placed his hand on my shoulder, seeing that I was starting to shake with fear. My eyes closed and I focused hard. I hadn't ever started shaking from fear before nor had I ever felt my heart beating so fast.

Carlisle went to walk away towards the front desk when I grabbed his wrist stopping him. "What do you think it is?" I murmured, looking him in the eye, wanting to know if he was going to be honest with me or not.

"I'm not going to say until we get the results back," he looked away from me as he spoke and I understood that he already knew. He went to step away from us, but I stood in his way.

"You already know, I can see it. Carlisle tell me, please. This is Renesmee. You know how much I love her."

"I already told you Jacob. You can go in and stay with her if you wish."

"Jake, calm down," Embry said softly.

Embry could see that I wasn't happy with what Carlisle was saying. I knew that he knew what was going on. I wished he would have told me, no matter how bad the news was. I wanted to know what was happening with my girl. There was nothing worse than playing the waiting game, it sucked, big time.

I shook my head in frustration, trying to calm down. I pushed past Embry and went into her room, sitting beside her and taking her hand. She was cold, ice cold. I wished that I could have warmed her up; it was basically tearing me apart just by sitting here. I was a werewolf with a temperature of one-hundred-and-eight-degrees and there wasn't a thing that I could do to warm her up. I looked to her, seeing an IV in her other hand and looking so frail and weak so suddenly. It wasn't easy for me to handle.

I looked out the window of her room to the hallway. Embry was sitting in one of the chairs just outside the room with his back to me. I could sense the tenseness coming from him. He was just as worried about her as I was. I sighed, closing my eyes and rested my head on the side of her bed, keeping her hand in mine. I wasn't going to let her hand go, even for a second. I wanted her to know that I was there for her. I knew even know she was deep in sleep, she knew I was there for her. And I always would be forever. I would do anything for her.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep. I awoke to the sound people talking outside of her room. I looked up to see Carlisle and another doctor talking quietly. I got the feeling that it was about her, even know I couldn't really hear them talking, I could tell. I guessed Embry could, as he was still outside with them. I was surprised that he had stayed the whole night. I thought he would have gone home through the night for sure. I was grateful that he had stayed but, I needed him around to talk to while Renesmee was in this state.

I sighed in frustration again, resting my head back on the bed beside her, but keeping my eyes open. I was wide awake now . . . even know it was still very early in the morning.

The hospital was a buzz of sounds now. Calls coming in and going out, doctors talking to each other, the nurses and to their patience's, moderators beeping, babies and kids crying and more people in the waiting room, waiting to be seen to. I didn't know how anyone was sleeping now, even this early in the morning, but maybe it was just me been and feeling uptight, that and been able to hear things better than humans. I didn't know how Embry was taking it out there, where it would be ten times louder. It was loud enough in here with the door half closed. I tried to block it all out, but it wasn't working. I was just too tense and worried.

I brushed my thumb over Renesmee's hand, wondering and hoping that she would wake up better today. I wanted to take her home and out of this sick hell that I knew she hated so much. She didn't deserve to be in a place like this, nor did she deserve to be this sick. I wish that I could have somehow made everything okay again. That was all I wanted.

Carlisle came quietly in then, with Embry as his side. I didn't like the look on either of their faces. "Can I talk to you alone Jacob?" Carlisle asked, almost lifelessly.

I looked back to Renesmee still sleeping, not wanting to leave her, even for a second. Embry came over, obviously knowing that I didn't want to leave her and that he would be the only one that I would allow to stay while I was gone. I got up and kissed her cheek and letting Embry take my place beside her.

I followed Carlisle out into the hall, where it was quieter and we could talk in piece. I didn't know what to expect. I just hoped that everything was going to be okay . . . or if it was just all a really bad dream.

"So what's going on?"

"It's diabetes Jacob. Her kidneys are failing and have been for some time."

"What? What does that mean?" I didn't understand a thing that he had just said, but I didn't like the sound of it.

"She needs a kidney transplant soon as possible, or she will have to have dialysis."

"So what are we waiting for?" I almost shouted. I didn't understand why we were just standing here talking. Why wasn't he doing everything to get her ready for whatever needed to be done?

"We need a donor first Jacob and we don't have the equipment to do it here."

I growled quietly in frustration. Everything felt like it was playing against us. "I'll do it."

"You don't know what is involved here Jacob."

"If it involves saving my girlfriend's life, I'll do it Carlisle!"

"You need to be tested by a blood test first Jacob, to make sure that your compatible and then if you are, we have to get her to Seattle. It's risky for the both of you."

"I don't care what happens to me, as long as she's okay."

He nodded once, looking at me sternly. "I'll get everything organized for you."

He walked off quickly, leaving me in piece. I didn't know what to think anymore. Before it was just worrying about her, now it was worrying about her, how long she have left, if I was compatible to be her donor and if I wasn't, who would be? There was so many questions running around in my head and there were no answers for any of them in sight.

I walked back to her room slowly, thinking deeply as I went. Embry looked up at me when I stopped in the doorway, keeping my eyes on the ground while I stood there. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to be awake. I just wanted to be away from this, for all of this to be a really bad dream.

"I'm sorry Jake," he murmured, getting up and holding my shoulder tightly in his hand. I shook my head, almost motionlessly. It wasn't his fault.

"I'm sighing up to be the donor." I looked up to him and he nodded grimly before walking outside. He knew that I just wanted to be alone with Renesmee.

I sighed, sitting down next to her and took her hand once again softly in mind as I sat down. I felt like time was ticking by faster now. Like every millisecond was a second and I couldn't help but keep my eyes on the clock in front of me, sitting over top of the doorway. It felt like hours had passed in only five minutes. I wondered what was taking Carlisle so long to get things organized.

Feeling movement brush over my hand, I looked to Renesmee to see her eyes slightly open looking to me and a slight smile on her face. I felt a thrill run through me when I saw that she was finally awake. I hadn't ever felt so happy to see her eyes open in my life. I was so glad that she was awake! I felt dead while she had been asleep, dead with fear and worry. But now my sun was up and awake, making me feel alive again. She had no idea how she made me feel just by been around. I could feel my eyes go glassy for the second time this week, just so happy to see her awake.

"What are you so emotional about?" she murmured almost silently with weakness.

I leant over her, kissing her forehead and sitting back in my chair beside her. "I'm just so glad to see you awake."

Her smile got wider. "You can't get rid of me that easily Black," she half giggled and looked to the doorway as Carlisle walked in quietly. He looked so tired and worn out.

I looked up to him, wondering what was happening now. I hoped everything was going right and that everything was going to be over and done with soon with a good end once it was over with. I could see that he was exhausted and doing his best for his granddaughter, but I couldn't help but wonder if it was enough or not? I hoped it was.

"Everything is setup Jacob and waiting for you." I nodded once, looking to him and then could feel Renesmee's eyes on me also, questioning me to what he had meant.

She squeezed my hand weakly, making me look at her and I couldn't help but respond. I took a deep breath as I turned to look at her and then looking away, not wanting her to see my eyes. They were glassy again.

Everything was starting to hit me harder now. Everything was feeling like it was reality and I wasn't coping with it one bit.

I turned my head away, trying not to look to either of them.

"Where do I have to go?" I mumbled, looking to the wall away from the two of them.

"Down the corridor and to your right, you'll see a sign on the left wall on the blue wall telling you where to go next."

I nodded again, keeping my eyes narrow as I walked away, letting go of Renesmee's hand as I went and then stopped dead when I heard her speaking to me, questioning me to what was happening. I couldn't do anything but look back to her. I didn't know what to tell her. It was all too confusing to me even what I was doing now was over my head.

Carlisle rested his hand on my shoulder, making me looking up at him. "I'll explain Jacob."

I mouthed a thankful and went off running. I knew that if I stayed there to listen to him tell her what was really happening, that I wouldn't be able to leave the room. There was no way for me to be there and listen again, not even for her. It was all too hard for me now and I was only just realizing that this wasn't a dream.

It was real, and it was killing me.

I shook my head, refusing to let myself think that anything wrong was going to happen to her. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, slowing my run into a fast walk through the corridor, looking out the huge window as I passed, seeing the small garden outside. I went right and looked for the sign on the pale blue walls. I was thankful that that I saw the sign with the blood place was only around the corner.

I didn't want to be far from Renemsee for long. It was bad enough that I was already away from her while she was awake.

I went into the blood place and I couldn't help but try and not breathe. All I could smell was blood and so much of it, it was making me sick. I wasn't one to be squeamish around blood or even gore, but this place had a new level beyond gore from any horror movie I had seen. It wasn't that it was creepy or terrifying, it was just the strong scent of blood and right then I really hated that I had sensitive senses like my sense of smell.

I shook my head, trying to forget it as I sat down in a chair in the waiting room, catching a lady's eye that was sitting across from me. I went slightly red in the face as I kept feeling her eyes on me and then when I looked up she looked away, acting like she wasn't at all looking at me. I smiled and shook my head, not believing how some women acted around me. I didn't understand it one bit. How was I so different from all the other guys around?

I wondered what she was in the hospital for, but for whatever it was, she looked a little pale. Her dark flowing hair hung nicely around her face with hazel eyes shone dimly against her pale skin.

She was pretty and she didn't seem to belong in a place like this.

"Jacob Black?" I heard a lady call my name and I looked up to see an olive skinned lady with short black hair scanning the room for me. I raised my hand slightly and got up walking over to her. I guessed Carlisle had booked me in for the blood test. It was a wonder that he could get me in on such short notice, but I had saw Carlisle work wonders with people on a number of times.

I went over to the desk and she got me to sign some papers. I didn't know what they were for, but I didn't care. I just wanted to help Renesmee the best way I could and it looked as if this was the only way how.

She took me in to the other room and the scent of blood was even stronger. I shook my head, hating in here even more. She gave me a funny look with raised eye brows, wondering what was wrong with me. I just sat in the chair, acting like nothing was wrong, waiting for her to start.

About fifteen minutes later, I walked back out rubbing my arm.

'_Stupid wolf powers_,' I thought, glancing how to the red dot that was quickly healing. I never knew that just a blood test could be painful, - unless you're a werewolf that heals fast, making the blood stop flowing.

Yeah just my luck!

I was about to walk out of the room when the woman that was sitting across from me spoke my name.

"Jacob?" she asked softly. I turned around, looking to her and seeing a shy look on her face as she gazed up at me.

"Yes?" It felt weird that she knew my name but I didn't know hers. It felt so awkward.

"I was just wondering why you were here? You look pretty . . . healthy." She looked to the white tiled floor while she spoke. She was really shy. I didn't understand why she was asking me but, and without telling me her name.

"Um, my girlfriend sick, so I'm here trying to help her. Why did you want to know?"

"Just curious," she mumbled and then looked back up at me. "I am Angel, by the way," she smiled up at me. As she smiled, I could see the dullness in her eyes, but at the same time, I could see there was something very special about her. I couldn't put my finger on it. There was just a light coming from her. I wondered if it had anything to do with her name. I was about to ask her why she was here, but then my phone rang and it was Embry saying that Renesmee was wanting me. I hung up and looked out the door to the dark grey carpet, my muscles tense as I bit my lower lip.

Everything that had gone on in the past twenty-four-hours was starting to get to me. It hurt me so much to see her going through everything that she didn't deserve.

Maybe it was me that had done wrong. I was been punished for what I was. Maybe it was hurting me more than it was hurting her . . . but still, it wasn't fair to be punishing me and using her at the same time. Renesmee hadn't ever hurt anyone, in any way possible. I hadn't either, that I knew of. I just wished that I had a magic wand to make her feel better, to make her well again.

She didn't deserve it!

I felt my jaw clench with anger. I was shocked that I wasn't shaking. I ran my wrist over my eyes and felt a cold touch upon the tips of my fingers. I looked back to Angel. She was smiling sweetly up at me, holding my fingers softly

She'll be okay Jacob," she whispered. I smiled slightly. Those words were what I needed to hear and from a stranger of all the people out there that I could have heard it from, a stranger was comforting me. I hadn't ever been comforted before, then again, I hadn't ever needed to be comforted before either.

"I'll let you go," she murmured next.

"I'll see you around maybe? Not that I wish to see you here again, if you know what I mean," I chuckled.

She giggled at my words and for the first time since I had met her, I saw her face light up. I hadn't noticed how pale she was until she lit up with laughter. Her skin was almost as dark as my own. I wondered if she was Quileute. Her russet skin was almost dark enough to be.

"You will. See you Jacob."

I ran off towards Renesmee's room as fast as I could. I stood outside of her room for a second, watching her. Her eyes were closed and I could see in her face that she understood everything that was happening. I hated seeing her like this . . .

For the first time since I had met her so many years ago, I wished that she was like me, Embry, and the others; immune to human sickness and a fast healer to injury. I hadn't ever wished my curse onto anyone else in my life, and I hated that part of me.

Never able to die and watching everyone around you grow old and get sick, feeling the pain of losing them and knowing that the pain would never stop, but only increase with the years that came. That was the one thing that really annoyed me about our reservation.

The Quileute legends and histories they used to tell us when we were younger, most of them were true. I hadn't ever been much of a believer in the legends, myths or even religion, but I became a believer in my tribe's legends when I first realized what was happening to me when I was sixteen. The first time I became a wolf.

The worst part was the fact my father knew that it was going to happen to me, and yet he didn't tell me that it was going to happen. I most probably wouldn't have believed him anyway. . . But even know I wasn't a believer of anything that was common to the people around me, I never doubted that any of it was true, but at the point of this, Renesmee so . . . lifeless in front of me, I was starting to doubt them all, even my own tribal beliefs.

In our legends, they say the spirits were always guiding you to how you're life was truly meant to be lived. I didn't see how what was happening right in front of my eyes was guiding me at all. It was only pain and hurt, for everyone around me and her. I was starting to question everything out loud. "Why?"

Why did I meet her if this was the end? Why did we _both_ fall so deeply in love for this to happen? Why was she going through this, when she had done nothing wrong in her short life? I wondered what Carlisle and her parents thought about it all. Her family were all believers, but Renesmee was the only one that didn't. She was like me, she didn't doubt it either.

My hand clenched into a soft fist as I hit the frame of the door lightly. I reached into my front pocket and pulled out an old ring that I had always kept close. I didn't know how it had gotten there, nor did I know it was there.

Embry had given me these jeans this morning. I wondered how he knew where my ring was. I always kept it in a safe place. My eyes slowly opened as my thumb ran softly over the detailed howling wolves, staring at the emerald green stone in the middle of it and white diamond stars around the sides.

I suddenly felt comforting warmth on my back and on the sides of my shoulders, like someone was holding me from behind. I couldn't help but think of _her_. It had been years since I had thought of her.

"Mum," I murmured, turning around as I held on to her ring tightly. I could have sworn that I had felt her presences as I held her ring. Of course I didn't see anything, but I still felt like someone was standing in the hall with me. Something made me look down to my left hand, - just like something had made me put my hand in my pocket to find her ring - and I couldn't believe it.

Her ring was on my wedding finger. I hadn't ever put it on. I thought my fingers were too big to fit it. I didn't want to bend it out of place or break it, so I never tried it on. I couldn't believe how it had slipped on. I felt like someone was telling me something.

Emerald green was the colour of my mother's eyes and was Renesmee's favourite stone and colour. It had been my mother's engagement ring, before she died in a car accident when I was just eight. I was supposed to be my sister's when she got old enough to wear it, but Rachel told me to keep it, so I did.

I missed my mother so much. I wished so many times throughout the years, that she had been there so I could have asked her what she thought of Renesmee, and to ask her advice. Of course I still had my father and both Rachel and Rebecca to ask, but it didn't feel the same. I could remember that I got really suicidal after her death. I didn't handle lose well at all. . .

I looked up to Renesmee and her eyes were still closed. I didn't want to go back in the past, but if anything was to happen to her, I just knew that I would. I was still like I was when I was younger. I always ran away from anything that got too hard instead of staying and dealing with it, and I was still like that, but now I was worse. Because I had grown up to believe anything was possible, nothing was impossible, even the creatures from fairy tales. I hadn't ever been told '_that's not real. It only exists in movies and TV.'_ Because of that, and been a werewolf, I still believed that, and when pain and loss hit me, I would act as though it wasn't real, because life didn't feel real to me, nothing did, until I met Renesmee. And now seeing her like this, I wanted to run, to hide from realty. It was taking everything in me not to walk out of those hospital doors, phase and run. But I wasn't going to do it, because I knew she needed me.

If I was ever going to stand my ground in the world of reality, it was going to me now! I wasn't going to bend into pain, because I knew I was strong enough to stay around and rough it out, because I knew that she would get through this, somehow . . . because she had to, for me. I couldn't live without her. There was no way I could live without her. I would only go back to how I had been before her. Alone, hot-headed, a total jerk.

I didn't know why she picked me. Out of all the people out there, I questioned myself daily, why me? Why was I so lucky to have her as mine?

I watched as her eyes fluttered open and her gaze set on me. She smiled slightly and weakly, murmuring my name, knowing that I would have heard her. Embry looked up from staring at the wall across the room from him, noticing me for the first time since I had been standing there. I smiled slightly at her and stepped into the room, carefully giving her a tight hug. I could feel her cold tears on her cheek against the skin of my neck.

"I'll be back later," Embry said in a low tone, leaving.

"Don't go getting into any kind of trouble with Kim, Embry," Ness giggled. I looked at her a little surprised and then looked to Embry. She had stopped him dead where he stood. A crooked and cocky smile came across his lips.

I couldn't believe her, in this state, she remembers someone else's love life. We both couldn't help but laugh. That was my girl! That was what I wanted to see.

She looked to the two of us, clueless. "What?"

"I'll see you later," Embry laughed, walking out still laughing.

For those two minutes, I had forgotten everything that was happening. I wished that I could have stayed in those two minutes. I hadn't ever felt such a weight on my shoulders before. I pulled the chair up and sat beside her, staying silent now.

I wondered if she had also forgotten everything in those two minutes. I didn't want to take that peace from her if she had and still was in that moment. I took her hand softly and heard her sigh. I knew then, everything was coming back to her. All I could do was be there for her, and it didn't feel like it was enough to me. I was used to protecting her from everything, and now I couldn't and it was making me feel worthless.

I didn't know what to do for her.

"Jake," she murmured. I looked to her as she said my name. There was a sad look in her eyes now. "Do you know how dangerous this is for you?"

I shook my head, not knowing nor caring. I didn't care about myself. "I don't care how dangerous it is Ness. I'm going to help you if I can."

"Do you know how unlikely it is for you to be the right blood type? Jacob, I'm type O. It's one of the rarest out there."

For some reason, my hope fell then. Somehow, I got the feeling that I had already known that. Everything _was_ working against us and it wasn't fair. I didn't understand why Carlisle hadn't told me, but maybe it was because he didn't want me to give up so soon. I wasn't going to give up anytime but. I believed that she would be okay. I did, because she had to be. She just had to be!

But I wanted to give her something else to fight for. Something that I knew she had been wanting for a few years now. I had wanted to wait for the right time, but now seemed to be when she most needed it. I could see that she needed something more than what she already had to fight for and I was pretty sure this would do it. I was more than ready to make her mine.

I slipped my mother's ring off my finger, turning it in my fingers quickly as I thought about things. I took her hand softly and slipped it on her finger. It fit and looked perfect on her hand. I was surprised that it fit her finger as well as mine. Her hand was so delicate to mine. I smirked and thought that just maybe there was a reason behind that and then felt the presences like I had earlier.

I glanced up at her, seeing shock in her once bright eyes. I smiled and held her hand. "I was planning on something a lot different to this, but, I want you to have it when I can't be around. . . Renesmee Carlie Cullen, will you marry me?"

I couldn't help but smile as I saw the shock and happiness in her eyes. I just wished that I had done it in a better place.

"Yes!" she cried and hugged me tightly. I couldn't believe she had said yes to me!

"I love you so much Jacob!" she cried, holding onto me tight.

"I love you too Ness," I murmured. I still couldn't believe it. With everything she knew about me, she still accepted who I was. I tried not to chuckle as I remembered back when I told her I was a werewolf. Any typical human would run and scream or faint, but all she screamed was '_that's so cool‼'_

She was far from any typical human in my eyes. I was in shock at how well she had taken it. I was waiting for days for it to finally hit her and cause her to go all crazy on me.

But it never happened.

And then I was caught off guard when she told her family the very next month while I was there, they took it not as well, but still it surprised me to just how accepting of me they were. She was truly meant to be mine. I could just see it in everyday life with her.

She held me tighter as I went to pull away and sit back. I looked to her in wonder. She could read my eyes like an open book. "I've missed you're warmth Jake. Do you have any idea how addicting the heat of your body warmth is when your used to it?" she giggled.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

She had always wondered why I was at a feverish temperature before she knew the truth about me, when I told her when I was eighteen. Two years after the change.

She always loved my warmth in the winter when it was snowing and raining, while lying on the couch together. As I thought of our old memories, I felt like it had been years since we had been on the couch together, curled up in front of the fire together or when she was cold, I held her, getting her warm or keeping her warm from the harsh cold weather of Forks.

But it had only been months.

Just suddenly those silly little memories meant so much more to me.

"Please," she murmured, looking me in the eyes. I rolled my eyes for the second time in a matter or moments, shaking my head. I couldn't resist her requests, no matter how crazy they were. "You're going to get me kicked out of here," I mumbled, carefully lying beside her and wrapping my arms around her as she leant into my chest closing her eyes.

"Impossible. Grandpa wouldn't let that happen. He knows how much you mean to me and how much I need you," she giggled, keeping her eyes closed as her head rested over my heart. She felt so cold against me.

I hadn't ever felt her so cold before.

I saw her smile slightly as she went limp against me with sleep. Her breathing became deeper and calmer. I laid there thinking deeply for a long while, wondering what was going to become of us. I hadn't ever thought so much about just one situation before; probably because I hadn't ever had so much time to think.

It felt nice to have her back in my arms again. I felt like I was protecting her whenever I held her close to me. I felt warm against her, loved.

My eyes shifted to her when I felt her move in my embrace. She smiled in her sleep as her hand grip my shirt softly for a second as she mumbled in her sleep. I smiled while watching her. At least in sleep she had no pain or worries to remember.

I heard her murmured my name again as my eyes drifted closed. I wondered what she was dreaming about. I hoped it was something that she liked, something she had wanted for years to come true. She deserved some really special . . . Something special for my special girl.

At some point I must have fallen asleep. My eyes flashed towards the doorway as I detected a new presences in the room and saw Carlisle in the doorway.

"Should I leave?" I murmured, trying not to wake Renesmee.

"You're family Jacob. It doesn't matter. I know how much she needs you right now. I just wanted to let you know that you're a match for her." My eyes lit up with the new news. I couldn't restrain myself from doing a fist pump and shouting yes under my breath. Finally, something was going right for us!

I looked back to Carlisle after making sure that I hadn't awoken Ness with my excitement, he was smiling, holding off laughing. I looked to the floor for a second, turning a little red after my childish behaviour.

"So when is it going to be?" I asked, looking back to him as I spoke.

"October first. It was as early as I could make it so far Jacob. "

I couldn't believe this!

One thing goes right, and another goes wrong!

"But that's too far away! Carlisle, she needs it now. I can see it with the seconds that go by." I paused and I looked to her angel like face still deep in sleep. "She's got to get out of here before then. You know she hates places like this. She will lose any will she has left if she stays here for that long. Carlisle, please . . . if money will make it come sooner, I'll pay. Just please, make it sooner or work out something. Please." I couldn't believe that I was actually begging to him. I guess they were right . . . love makes people do odd things. I hadn't ever been one to beg for anything, but for Renesmee, I would do anything for her to make sure that she was okay. I didn't care what happened to me in the meantime, it was her that I worried about, all the time.

"It's nothing to do with money Jacob. But I will try. I know she needs it now. There are treatments we can do to slow things down, but she refuses it all."

I looked down to her again, wondering why she would refuse it all. Didn't she want to get better? Everything was starting to confuse me even more than before . It didn't matter how much I tried, I couldn't understand anything medical Carlisle said to me. I just went on with anything that he said, knowing that if Carlisle agreed that it would help his granddaughter; he would do it and only the best by her. I trusted him.

But I didn't understand why she was refusing treatment, and then one of her fears came to me. Needles, she hated them with a passion. She had a fear of them just as strong as mine of losing her.

I looked up to him, in wonder again, wondering if I was right. "Needles?" I questioned.

He nodded. "She's just like her mother in more than just one way."

I smirked for a moment. I defiantly had to agree with that.

Bella was stubborn just like Renesmee and both of them hated needles as well. Even their appearance was much alike.

Bella and Renesmee could have been twins if Bella wasn't older. They both had the same warm chocolate brown eyes, the same warm smile, the same lightness of skin tone, and the same glossy brown hair that I loved so much. The only difference I had found between them was Renesmee was a lot more outgoing and confident. She was so cheery, warm and sweet. She remembered everything about someone and always made you feel special. The things that would come out of her mouth always either made someone feel special, smile, laugh or go into shock with the surprising things she would joke about. She had the innocents of a child in her always, but the mind of an older teenager that she was.

She even shocked me sometimes, but I liked it. I liked living life in the unknown like her, but this unknown was literally killing us both. I couldn't stand it.

It was breaking me apart.

I heard Carlisle leave us. He could probably see how much I needed to just be alone. I leant back down next to her, pulling the sheet over her more, keeping her warm from the air conditioning. She moved back into my chest, wrapping her arms around me and not opening her eyes. I was glad she didn't look up to me. I didn't want her to see me like this. I was her rock, she had told me so. I wanted her to tell me everything that was going on and I knew she wouldn't if she knew I was upset. But she didn't need to see my face to know.

"What's wrong Jake?" she murmured, leaning into my chest. I didn't answer at first, I couldn't. I knew if I spoke my voice would come out cracked. I took a silent deep breath to answer her.

"Nothing," I murmured, holding her a little tighter as I kissed the top of her head, closing my eyes before I lost it. I was no good at lying, especially not to her.

"You silly wolfy," she giggled and sighed as she held me tighter for a moment. "You're so warm Jake. You're like the sun, my sun. You keep me warm. You make my day a thousand times better by just been around. You don't even have to speak to make me feel better. I bet you could light up a whole room."

I stayed slightly as she spoke. I didn't know that she felt that way about me. It was just how I felt about her.

"You're lying Ness," I murmured, feeling her now looking up to me. I looked down to her with a faint smile. "You're _my_ sun. I wouldn't be the person I am without you. I would be some stupid street punk doing meth or something. That was where I was heading, and you changed me for the better. You showed me that life is worth living, even if it's hard. There's always a light in the dark, somewhere . . . and you were and are my light Renesmee."

She smiled and kissed me softly and leaning back down against me.

Every word I had said to her, I meant. I was getting into huge trouble before we met. Skipping school, making and getting into fights, rebellious, but the worst thing was I hated life. I was suicidal back then. I thought about it often, but never did I try to take my own life. I lost all my friends but one, Embry, and without him staying at my side the whole time, I probably would have done something stupid. He was the only one that stayed there with me the whole time and was disagreeing with everything I did, trying to get me out of trouble that I wanted to be in. I had to say that I actually hated him for a while as I couldn't see the reason he was staying around, spoiling my fun. But now, I can see it, and like back then, he was here for me and this time for Renesmee too. I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't introduced Renesmee to me, to babysit for Bella, the year before I turned into a wolf.

I had always known Bella since she had moved Forks when I was fourteen, I even had a crush on her, but never did I know that she had a teenage daughter that was six years younger than me. I didn't know what I had seen in Bella, but soon as I saw Renesmee everything changed. I just knew that she was going to be everything to me, and that's how it felt. I couldn't breathe, live or be without her.

I smiled at the memories that flooded my mind now.

When we first met, I thought she was thirteen or fourteen, not nine, when I first saw her. She looked and acted like a teenager, she was even half my height. I could remember how we used to play soccer in the backyard, go shopping with Rachel and how I used to pick her up after school when she was older. I could even remember how I would help her with her homework. For a few years, I felt like her big brother more than anything more, but I didn't care. As long as I was with her, doing anything, I was happy. I couldn't help but smile widely at the thought of her giving me a makeover when she was thirteen. She had just received a new makeup kit from her aunt Alice and wanted to try them out, but Renesmee was never one for wearing or liking girly stuff, and of course, I was silly enough to agree for her to give me a makeover.

Gees I was one ugly girl! I can remember Paul giving me crap about it for months. But I had to say, it was worth it to just see her laughing so hard.

I wondered if she remembered anything of it.

I sighed, thinking how quickly the ten years I had known her for had passed. Ten years . . . and it only felt like yesterday everything happened. Even my memories were so detailed and clear that it felt like yesterday. One thing I was sure of though, no matter what happens, I would never forget those memories. They meant so much to me, and always would.

* * *

Jacob's mother's ring that he gives Renesmee. http:/twitpic(dot)com/4292ba


	2. The Final Dream, The Final Kiss

The weeks passed slowly. A day felt more like a week, - it did to me anyway. I hadn't seen the sun or moon in two and a half months. I never left Rensmee's side each day and night. There was no way that I was going to leave her. Often I didn't even eat for a day or two, but I didn't find that I was even getting hungry. I just craved and wanted to be with her. Emily, Bella and Rachel came with food for me whenever they could. Rachel would stay with Renesmee for two hours once a week while I went down to the café. It was as far as I could go from her, any farther and it didn't feel right to me. Most of the time I had Embry there telling me she would be okay, but I think he was convincing himself as well as me.

Each night I got a top of three hours' sleep. Between the noises of the hospital, worrying and sleeping on the side of her bed, it was hard to even think about sleeping. I was actually glad that Sam had made me stay up all night and day when I was younger doing patrols with him over La Push. Doing that had gotten me used to going without sleep and when I went without sleep now, I didn't notice it that much.

My eyes flashed open suddenly at a dream I had. I looked down to Renesmee in the dark, seeing her looking at me, already awake.

Why wasn't she asleep?

"Hey," she murmured softly, touching my hand with hers.

I rubbed my eyes, getting them to focus in the nights light. "Hey. What are you doing still awake? Its four o'clock in the morning."

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just can't."

I shook my head, knowing what was wrong. I cupped her cheek softly in my hand and sure enough I was right. She was cold. "Move over," I murmured, lying on the side of her bed, wrapping my arms around her. She smiled and leant into my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly. I ran my fingers softly over her arm, knowing that she loved the feeling of my touch and warmth.

I watched the clock with blind eyes. I didn't take any notice to the time, to the seconds that passed. My mind was too full to see or take notice to anything. I only broke of the dazed state when I felt her move in my arms. I held her a little tighter, making sure she knew that I was still there for her. I hoped that she wasn't having a bad dream. My eyes drifted to a close with exhaustion taking over my body. I only woke up again when I heard noises outside of her room. I looked to see the blood test people outside talking, wondering if she was awake or not. I acted like we both were still asleep, hoping that they would come back later in the day like they usually did if they didn't see you in the morning. I knew that Renesmee wouldn't want to wake up to something like that. She hated needles and this was the only one apart from the IV she had allowed. I don't even know how Carlisle had given her an IV. I wouldn't even have the heart to be strong enough to look and feel of _that_ needle and I didn't have any problem with them like she did.

They knocked on her door and she gripped my shirt tightly after looking up and seeing who it was. I sighed, holding her tightly against me as I sat up with her. She hid her face in my shirt as she started to cry.

I hated this! I hated to see her crying with fear, pain or anything for that matter that wasn't crying with happiness. She didn't deserve this to be happening to her.

"It is okay honey," the dark hair lady said, taking Renesmee's wrist softly, sitting on the side of the bed. "Just a tiny pin prick and it's all done with."

"She hates needles," I murmured. The lady nodded, making sure to hide the whole needle from Renesmee's sight. I held her closely to me, my hand resting softly on the side of her face as she kept her face hidden in my shirt as she sobbed. I felt her other hand grip the back of my shirt as the blood started to flow. She yelped suddenly, bringing her hand that was around my waist in front of her. She must have hurt her hand with the IV by gripping my shirt. I took her hand softly and kissed her wrist, just able the IV, hoping that maybe it would make it better.

"All done honey," the lady said, taking the needle out quickly and then giving it to her male partner who looked like he could have been her husband by the way he looked to her with loving eyes and how she exchanged the same look to him. He hid the needle away quickly before Renesmee could turn around. I mouthed a thank you to them both as they smiled and left the room. I sighed, still holding onto her tightly as she kept crying. I lay back, not sure what to say or do.

"I'm sick of this Jacob!" she cried.

I stroked the side of her face while thinking carefully what to say. The last thing she needed to hear was something that I didn't mean or something I hadn't said right. "It'll be all okay soon Ness. I promise." I held her tightly against me while I spoke. I felt her shake her head, catching my full attention, making me look down to her.

"It won't be Jacob. Nothing is going to be the same again. I'm not going to get better."

"Don't talk like that Ness! You got to, for me. You have no idea what my life would be like if I hadn't met you. You've got to get better, for me. I can't live without you Renesmee."

She looked up into my eyes, seeing that I was pleading with her. I meant every word. I knew that I couldn't live without her and I didn't want to, even if I could. It hurt too much to even think about living without her. We were one. Where one of us went, the other followed and that's how it would always be.

"Please promise me something Ness," I murmured as her head hung, looking to the floor. She looked back up to me, waiting for me to continue. "Promise me that you won't think like that anymore. Promise me that you will get better, and you will. We'll do anything you want afterwards. Plan the wedding, honeymoon on the tropical beaches around the Caribbean, Cancun, anywhere you want. I'll give you the world Ness, if you just stay with me. I don't want anything or anyone else. I love you."

She smiled slightly, looking down to our hands twined together. "I don't want the world Jacob. I just want you," she murmured, looking up to me. "But . . . that wedding and honeymoon would be nice."

I smiled then, glad that her mood was picked up a little. She leant into my chest, lying on her back, looking up to the white ceiling above us, staying silent. I wondered what she was thinking about. Her hand gripped mine suddenly and then loosened. My thumb softly brushed over her cold and smooth hand while thinking deeply. She only had a few weeks left until the operation, but somehow, I got a strong feeling that she needed it sooner. I wished that Carlisle had been able to bring to forward and make it sooner. I didn't think that she could hold out for that long, but she had to. I would be lost without her.

The hours passed and neither of us had said a word. I thought she had fallen asleep again, but her eyes were still open as she stared to the ceiling. I squeezed her hand slightly, and she half jumped at the sudden contact. I looked to her confused to why she had jumped. I had never gotten a reaction like that out of her before.

"I'm sorry," I murmured as she lay back down like had been before I startled her. She didn't say a word and just went back to staring at the ceiling like nothing had just happened. "What are you thinking about Renesmee?" I asked, running my hand over the side of her cheek. She sighed and smiled, leaning into the touch of my hand.

"A lot," she answered. "About us, you, what to do around here for fun."

"Us?" I questioned. I watched as a smile came to her face, one that I hadn't seen in a while. I had missed that smile more than I ever thought I would. It was a smile of smugness and naughtiness, one that you would get from a child just been caught in the act of trouble and trying to look innocent. It was one that was hard to resist from smiling back at and sinking in awe, but with Renesmee, you wouldn't sink into awe, you would sink into hysterical laughter. My girl was so unpredictable it wasn't funny! I guess that was just another thing that we had in common . . .

"Us?" I repeated, when she didn't answer after five minutes, but the same smile stayed on her face. She turned to me, looking deep within my eyes as her smile turned crooked.

"Our honeymoon," she answered.

I rolled my eyes. Of course, that would be the reaction I would get from her thinking about something she shouldn't be. No wonder she jumped when I squeezed her hand. She knew that her father would kill us if we did anything before our wedding. Typical for my girl to think about something like that before I did! "Don't tempt me Ness."

"I'm only human Jacob."

"And I'm only part wolf."

She smirked at me then. "So much for animal instinct then, hey?" she giggled.

"Oh trust me. It's there Renesmee."

"I'm surprised you've gone this long."

I couldn't help but laugh then. She had no idea how often she tempted me with just the things she did, let alone the things she said and how she would dress so beautifully that I was basically a nerd looking at the first beautiful girl he's ever met. I was such a pup when I came to Renesmee and her beauty. I just admired her for who she was, but when it came to how she looked; it was like I couldn't breathe. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever set my eyes on in my life. Her smile, her eyes, everything about her was eye catching. I was lucky to have someone like her. No I wasn't just lucky, I was extremely lucky.

"Just me, if it wasn't for your father, I wouldn't have been able to. You're tempting me now."

She tilted her head to the side, a little surprised. "Now? How? I'm a mess Jake. These pyjamas aren't even showy, let alone new. Gees it has to be at least two years old."

I rolled my eyes at her drama. She would never truly understand how saw her. Her pyjamas weren't that bad. A little discoloured, but other than that the light pink gave her some colour to her currently pale skin. "It doesn't matter what you look like Ness. It's who you are that shines out to me."

She smiled, wrapping her arms around my neck as I sat up. "It's sweet that you respect his wishes Jake. I admire that about you."

I smiled at her. I had no idea how she brought her father back into things. I thought back to how her father explained to me what I could and couldn't do with her until we were was even more awkward than when my father gave me 'the talk' when I was ten. And for a guy that is only in his early thirties, you would think that he had never been a teenage boy, - unless you counted how detailed he was about what he wanted.

I never thought that I would find a girl with a father like Renesmee's, nor did I think that I would find a father of a girl like Renesmee. She wasn't as composed as her mother or father was. She was a typical teenage girl of the twenty-first-century, which was made to control herself thanks to her father. I couldn't blame him for wanting to protect her until she was married though. I would want the same for any daughter of mine, but I wouldn't be as demanding as he was, and straight forward to how he wanted it. The last thing I would want was my daughter's boyfriend running off because she had some wack father. It was then that I realized, Edward had been so detailed and demanding because he was testing my love for Renesmee. He was making sure I was the type that would love her for who she was, and not just because she was a woman. I guessed that I had passed the test with flying colours then. Ten years together and no end in sight.

Her hand brushed the side of my face from behind me. I turned to look at her from the corner of my eye as I smiled. "I want to go outside," she murmured.

"You're sure that you're strong enough?"

She nodded with a slight smile. "As long as you come with me, that is."

"Of course I will."

She moved away from me and sat on the other side of the bed, waiting for me to come over and help her stand. I wrapped my arm around her waist carefully as she stood weakly against me. I was glad to see her finally once again back on her feet. She hardly had stood at all for over two months. I looked to her, making sure that she was okay to start walking. She smiled weakly to me, taking the stand of the IV into her hand before looking back to me.

I heard the door open and saw a common nurse walking in. She was at the hospital a lot. Her hair was a dark brown and tied back into a ponytail like always. She smiled when she saw Renesmee standing. Carlisle and the nurses had been wanting her to walk around when she felt strong enough so the blood would keep moving and so that she wasn't so cold anymore, but she hadn't really been strong enough to stand.

"If you like Renesmee, I can cut off the IV for a while?" she asked.

I had no idea what she had just said or what it meant. So much for me trying to be the, boyfriend who paid attention to what was going on with the love of his life. I was no good with hospital stuff. Not even the basics.

I watched as Renesmee nodded and the nurse went back out of the room. She sat back down on the bed, looking down at the IV. I had no idea what was going on now. I sat down beside her carefully, wrapping my arm around her shoulders as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"What's going on?"

"I want to get this thing cut off before we go," she murmured, looking down to the long IV tube. Damn, I was glad that she wanted it to be touched. I wouldn't let anyone near the thing in fear of it been bumped. I had to say that my girl was one tough girl. She had more strength than I would have in her position.

The nurse returned quickly with a yellow bowl with a few needles in it. I looked to Renesmee with wide eyes. She was accepting needles to get the IV off and not to get better? Was she delusional? I guess I had to accept her wishes, no matter how stupid they seemed to me.

She pulled me close then, hiding her face into my shirt as the nurse sat down beside her.

"Don't worry honey. They aren't going into you. They're just going to clean the lines for the IV to be stopped for a while."

_Just as well_, I thought, wrapping my arm around her carefully, holding her closely to me. She winced as the tube was twisted and the needle inserted into tube, facing into her hand. She murmured my name as she sobbed. Her hand gripped mine until it was over with.

"All done honey," the nurse said and left the room. She looked down to her hand, basically tubeless now. She stared at it in an odd way. She rubbed her other hand over her wrist quickly but carefully. She sighed and lent into me again.

"What's wrong?"

"My hand is ice cold since that stuff went in."

"It was only water. There wasn't any scent to it."

"It was ice water Jake. Please, can you warm it?"

I looked down to her a little worried. I didn't want to bump it and cause her pain, but I knew what it was like to feel a numbness of cold. It was basically torcher. Reluctantly I took her hand carefully into mine and placed her hand in my palm and covered her hand softly with my other. I could feel her hands warming within seconds. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn she was a vampire. Her hands were just as cold as ones. I saw a light smile come to her face as I warmed her hands. I could see how my presence affected her greatly. I was just glad that it made a difference. I felt so bad for not been able to do anything else.

"Better?" I asked.

She nodded and mouthed a yes. "Thanks Jake. Can we go outside now?" she asked, looking up to me and smiling sweetly.

"Of course we can." I wrapped my arm around her waist and slowly stood up with her arm around my shoulders as we stood together. I noticed her legs shook a little as she got her balance once more. I just hoped that she was strong enough to walk now. It had been too long since I had seen her walk for longer than five minutes. I felt uselessly to her. I couldn't do anything but just be there and it felt like there were a billion of things I could for her and there wasn't anything. It was getting more and more frustrating by the day for me. If I didn't love her so much, I would have ran months ago, but I wasn't careless like that anymore. I had responsibilities, and they were to be around for her and show her that I loved her with all my heart and everything I had in me.

Slowly we walked outside to the small park like place that was made for everyone in the hospital to get out and see the sun, whenever it was out. I was thankful that today was one of the rare days that the sun was out. I smiled at the feeling of the sun rays upon my skin as we walked through the sliding doors of the hospital. It felt like years since I had felt it. We walked out onto the grey stone path outside, looking around as we went. It was obvious that autumn was coming. All the trees looked like they were on fire with red, yellow and orange leaves. Some of the leaves slowly slipped from the trees branch and fell before us.

I held Renesmee close to me, keeping her warm while we walked around outside. The breeze was cold, but the sun was warm upon our skin. I had missed the feeling of the breeze sweeping across my skin as it passed.

She sighed, stopping and looking to the sky around us. She sat back against a park bench behind us, staring up at the sky with a bright smile on her face. I hadn't ever seen her smile so widely at the sky before. It was like she had been blind and was only just now seeing the sky for the first time in her life.

"I love this place Jacob. I don't understand how some people can hate it. Yes, it is cold and lonely at times, but its beauty is really something, don't you think?" she looked to me, still smiling as she took my hand tightly into hers as I sat beside her and wrapped my arm back around her as she leant into my side. I hadn't ever thought about it before, but she was right. It was cold and at times lonely, but when you had that someone special at your side, it was perfect. I did love Forks too. It was green, always, even in autumn in some places. It was cool and calming, and had an alive and fresh nip to the breeze when it crossed your skin. You could always sense the feeling of freedom in the air. Yes, this place was special. It was funny the thoughts that were coming into my mind now. I hadn't ever taken the time to take notice of the surrounds around me. I always knew where I was and what was around me, but never the detail. I didn't take the time to take in the detail, smell the air and feel truly alive. I should have done this a long time ago and enjoyed it sooner. I started to truly wonder what it was about having that someone special by your side could change how you felt about a particular place such as Forks. It was a lonely and cold place at times, and yet with someone special it made it an incredible place. Was it because you were already cold and lonely, and just wanted someone to warm you and keep you company throughout the cold and dim days, or was it the fact that you had someone to share it with, to love it with? Whatever it was, I didn't want to give it up for anything. I was glad to have someone who meant the world to me, to be able to share something like this with.

"It truly is Ness. It truly is," I murmured, running my hand up and down her arm slowly while watching the clouds with her. I glanced down to her lying on half on my chest and half on my stomach, a smile lighting her face while her eyes stayed closed. She giggled at the touch of my hand running along her arm.

We sat there for ages and it was starting to get dark and getting colder. The moon was already up and shining down on us. The sky was a brilliant purple. I didn't want to have to spoil her time, but I didn't want her catching a cold on top of it all too. "Come on Ness."

She looked up to me with both tired and disappointed eyes. We hadn't moved in what felt like days. She sighed, knowing we had to go back in. I helped her up slowly, when suddenly I heard my name been called and it made me look up to the sky. I almost gasped when I saw the sky was alit with stars now. It was only a few seconds ago that there was no star in sight or to be seen.

I felt Renesmee look at me, wondering what had stopped me suddenly. I felt her look up to the sky and gasp at the sight. It was incredible and I knew it was just for her. I smiled, knowing who had called my name. I knew that my mother's spirit was with me. It was a thing with the Quileutes of believing that spirits were around us and guiding us throughout our lives. I knew that I had at least one looking after and out for me and I was grateful for it.

"Hey Ness, look at that." I pointed to the right of us and saw a shooting star cross the sky quickly. _I wish that my girl gets better_, I thought as I heard her gasp. I glanced to her and smiled. "Make a wish." Her eyes closed and a smile came to her face before they opened and looked to me. I wanted to know what her wish was, but I wanted it to come true, so I didn't ask.

Her arm wrapped around my waist as we went back inside the hospital and back to her room at dinner time. The smell of steamed chicken and vegetables made my stomach clench. I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I sat Renesmee back on her bed, pulling up the blankets to cover her and pulled the table closer, setting her meal up for her to eat. She smiled at me and then frowned at her food.

"What's wrong?"

"What about you Jacob?"

"I'm fine. I'll eat later."

"Here, eat mister." She pushed her plat in front of me. It was tempting I had to say, but I knew she needed to eat it to keep her blood sugar right or she would get sicker, if not worse. I shook my head of the thought. I couldn't think like that.

"No. I'm fine. Renesmee, you need it. I'll get something later. I promise." I gave her my best puppy-dog eyes I could muster. It always worked. Her face turned hard and crossed her arms tightly over her chest, trying to look tough, but I held it out and slowly I watched the stern and tough look turn into a smile before bursting out with giggles. I smirked when she giggled. I knew I had won.

"Fine I'll eat it," she sighed, picking up her fork and taking a mouthful. I had to say it was hard to not watch her eat. I tried my best to not watch as I knew how annoying it is to have someone watching your every bite, thanks to Paul, my pack brother, of course. He did it just to annoy me. She set her knife and fork down and looked to me with a smirk type smile, holding back a cheeky giggle.

"What?"

"Your turn," she smiled.

I sighed and half chuckled, rolling my eyes. "Okay, okay. I'm going. I'll be back in a few okay?"

"Take your time. You need to get out of here more."

"Okay. You're the boss Ness."

"You know it Alpha Black," she giggled out. I walked down the hallway, on my way to the cafeteria. Passing Carlisle's office, I noticed a worried look on his face while he worked quickly with filing papers. He heard me passing and looking up to see me.

"Jacob. I need to talk to you." Those words stopped me dead. It was going to be something either really good or really bad, but with the way of his tone was and the look on his face, it wasn't going to be something I wanted to hear. I walked into his small office and closed the door behind me, leaning up against it, trying to keep calm and hear him out before I let any tremors run through me. He asked me to take a seat; I only shook my head, resting my foot against the door, trying my best to keep calm. He took a moment to gather his thoughts while sitting in his office chair. I watched as his eyes turned sad and almost tearful. I bit my lip and crossed my arms tightly over my chest, looking away. I couldn't stand it. You knew when a doctor started to act like this it wasn't good news. I didn't even know that doctors could treat their family. I was sure that they weren't allowed to, but I also knew Carlisle would break any rules just to make sure his granddaughter would be okay.

"What's going on?" I questioned after a while, still not looking at him.

"It's getting worse Jacob. She's not going to make it unless she starts treatment to prolong the life of her kidneys tomorrow."

"You know she won't do that. Can't we bring the date closer?" I looked to him then, begging him as he looked into my eyes.

"We can't. I've tried. The way she would get it sooner is if someone with her blood type dies and is a donor."

"Fine, I'll do it now if means her living Carlisle."

"You're not a donor Jacob. You would be just wasting your life for nothing."

"So, sign me up to be one. Carlisle, I can't live without her. You know that."

He nodded understanding. "It takes a few days Jacob, and I don't want to see her without you. You are the best thing that has happened to her. She may have not told you, but before you came into her life, Bella wanted to move because Renesmee was depressed about living around here. She hated the cold and not having any friends. The second you came into her life, it all changed. You brought her back to life, and I know without you by her side, she would only go back to been that way."

I never knew that. I was speechless, for the first time in my life, I was speechless. We were meant for each other. Never in my life had I been sure of anything, but at that point, something came to me, that I wasn't truly sure until of now. I hadn't ever been so sure of something in my life. I bit my lip harder, squeezing my eyes closed tightly, fighting back the tears.

"I'm going to try and talk her into having the treatment later."

"I already know her answer, but please, can you wait until I'm around? I think, that I just maybe able to change her mind."

"I'll give you until eight-thirty to be back. Any later and it would be too late to organize anything for tomorrow. You do know that if you were her husband, that you would have the power of her having treatment?" He looked at me sternly. I knew that she had told him then. We hadn't told anyone that we were engaged. We were waiting for a better time to tell everyone. But I should have known that it wouldn't be long until Renesmee slipped it out to someone.

"I couldn't do that to her anyway Carlisle. I'm not strong enough to do something like that."

He nodded and I stepped out the door, looking to the clock behind me and seeing that I had an hour to be back. I walked down the hallway, half shaking with my inner wolf wanting to the phase and take over the situation. I had to say that at one point I actually wanted it to take over. It was stronger than I could ever be and it wouldn't have the same feelings towards the situation as I did. The pain would dim down, to a different pain. My inner wolf was something that could take things by far better than I ever could. But I couldn't expose myself and I couldn't leave the hospital. I went down to the cafeteria and sat at a table for a while, just thinking. It was quiet around there. I could think to myself without some kind of beeping or buzzing going off. I sighed, shaking my head, covering my face with my hands with my fingers clenched tightly on my forehead. I was on the edge of phasing without the tremors, but I kept calm just enough to have control. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I tried to think of something that made me happy and made me feel relaxed, but I couldn't think of anything that wasn't Renesmee. She was everything that made me happy. Without her I was nothing. I hadn't realized that before.

I slammed my hands down on the table and stood, walking over to the small line up in the cafeteria. I looked over the food that was been kept warm under heat lights. Fish, chicken, and chips were all that was left. Suddenly I didn't feel hungry anymore. I just felt sick. I was sick to my stomach with worry. I got a plate of chips and a wing of chicken as well as a drink of water and went to sit at a table just in the doorway of the cafeteria. I slowly ate, looking at my food with blind eyes. I was eating so slowly that I was basically playing with it. I sighed and then felt a new presence behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see Angel standing behind me with a slight smile on her face.

"Hey, Jacob," she said lightly with a quiet tone of voice.

"Angel, what are you doing here?"

"Just grabbing something to eat," she answered, looking down to the small cup of chips in her hand. That wasn't enough for a girl like her. No wonder she was a little on the thin side.

"I thought that I wouldn't see you again here. I mean, it's been almost three months since I first saw you."

She shrugged, acting casual. "I'm here a lot."

"Why? Are you sick or something?"

"No – no, just visiting."

"Oh. I'm sorry. Are they okay?"

She nodded, looking away from me then. I didn't really think whoever she was visiting was. I thought that she was covering it up like I did, wishing and wanting them to be okay, so you act like they were, or were going to be, just wanting to do anything that may help them get better.

"H-hows, your girlfriend?"

I shook my head, half turning away. "No better," I answered weakly. I could see in her staring at me from the corner of my eye then. She pulled a chair from the table beside me and sat there silently for a moment.

"I'm sorry Jacob."

I shook my head. "It's okay. We'll get through it. We have to," I smiled slightly, forcing it onto my face.

Her hand rested on my shoulder then. "She's someone that really lightens your life isn't she? She's your sun. She's given you a life and you've given her life in return," she murmured. I looked at her suddenly, wondering how Angel would know that. She hadn't even met Renesmee, nor had I told her how much Ness meant to me and yet, she knew. How?

"How did you . . . know that?" I questioned as she stood. I caught eye of a blank look in her eyes before their returned to her real eye colour of an aqua blue. I hadn't noticed her eyes been such a bright colour before. I tried to think back when we first met and then realized that her eyes weren't that colour the first time I saw her. They were hazel last time I saw her. That didn't make any sense to me.

"Your eyes . . . they've changed colour?" I looked at her curiously and she turned away without answering me.

"I – I got to go. Sorry Jacob. I'll see you around maybe," she said quickly.

"Oh okay," I murmured to myself as I watched her run off quickly towards the elevator before disappearing altogether. I got the feeling there was really something different about this girl. I sighed getting up and glancing at my watch. It was almost eight-thirty. I started to walk slowly back towards Renesmee's room, but then caught a glance at Angel getting off on the level above the cafeteria.

"Hey, Angel! Wait up!" I shouted and tried to catch her attention, but soon as she was out of the elevator she started running down another hallway off from where I was going. I wondered what was wrong. If she was running because she was trying to get away from me or maybe she somehow knew that whoever she was visiting in the hospital needed her. I sighed, giving up and went back to the ward Renesmee was staying in. Soon as I entered the hallway, I could hear her shouting out in disagreement. I realized then that I was five minutes over the time Carlisle had given me. I ran to her room to see Carlisle sitting on her bed and a nurse at his side. Renesmee was turned away from them both, tears in her eyes, and body tensed. They looked to me when I entered the room. Her face lighted slightly as she saw me. I went to sit beside her. I slid in behind her, holding her close to me while her face hid in my chest. I could hear her almost silently crying with her arms wrapping around me. I stroked her hair softly and slowly, trying to calm her.

"Renesmee, do you realize that without the treatment, you won't make it another two weeks. You are lucky if you have another week," Carlisle said, I fought hard to try and keep my emotions intact from what he had said. That cut me deep. I looked to Carlisle and then the nurse.

"You need it Ness," I murmured. "I know you hate needles, but you do really need it baby." She shook her head in my chest, only holding me tighter. The nurse sighed deeply. I looked to Carlisle.

"Can I talk her, alone please?" My eyes shifted to the nurse quickly and then back to him. He nodded and left the room with her at his side. I sighed, thinking before I spoke. I needed to know what I was going to say before I could do anything. I needed to make things clear to her, what was happening to us. But I couldn't do it while there was someone in the room that didn't know about _me_. I would be basically exposing myself if I did that.

My hand brushed down her arm slowly as I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her forehead. She kept crying into my shirt for another five minutes. Carlisle looked into the door, wondering if I was making any progress. I waved him away and nodded. I needed time to get things right.

"Renesmee, do you remember when you were younger, what I used to tell about the Quileute legend of imprinting?"

She nodded, looking up to me. I swept her tears from under her eyes and kissed her forehead again. "Yes. I remember. You said that an imprint was just like a soul mate, and you don't want to be or live without them. You said it was legendary and it was a wolf thing."

I nodded, watching her as she looked away from me. "Renesmee . . . I know an imprint is real, because, your my imprint." And I was more than sure of it. Everything we had gone through before we met each other, and all the way up to now. We had to be. I hadn't ever been so sure of something in my life.

Her face turned to shock as she looked up to me and then looked away again. She signed, realizing everything. "I need you to have that treatment Ness. You know what will happen if. . ." I trailed off, not wanting to think about it.

She nodded again. "Okay. I'll have it."

"Thank you," I murmured and kissed her softly, before standing and going out to Carlisle who was waiting at the front office. He still looked worried as hell. I felt sorry for him. It must be hard to have a job like his and seeing someone you love slip through your fingers without even been able to stop it from happening, even when you know what is wrong and what you can do to stop it.

"She agreed," I told him. He looked up to me, shocked overcoming his face.

"How did you get her to agree?"

"I just explained something to her. A wolf thing, you could say."

He nodded once. "Thank you Jacob."

"It's nothing. It's the least I could do."

I turned my back on him and went back to her side. I just hoped that I hadn't convinced her to have more painful things happen than to what was already going on in her day to day life. It was hard to watch her go through it all. She was much stronger than I could ever be. She was truly incredible in my eyes. I wouldn't have been able to go through what she had. I envied her strength. I wished that I had just even a quarter of her strength.

I turned off the light in her room as I entered. I went and sat on the side of her bed, holding her close to me while staring at the clock with blind eyes again. It was around ten o'clock before I fell asleep. I didn't know when Renesmee fell asleep or if she even did.

I was reawakened around twelve o'clock by her moving in my arms. I looked down to her and heard her sigh. My hand found hers and squeezed it lightly. I looked to my left after hearing her IV start beeping, meaning it was running low. She held me tightly suddenly and a nurse came in and fixed up the moderator of her IV. She sighed again, making me glance back down to her again. The nurse left and she finally spoke.

"Jake, you have to go home."

"What? No. I'm not leaving you. I don't want to."

"You're not getting any sleep. Come on, it's been almost three months. You need sleep. One night won't hurt. Please?"

I sighed, knowing there was no way out. When Renesmee wanted something, she fought until she had it. I admired her dedication and persistence that she showed. "Okay," I murmured, holding her tightly for a second before sitting up and standing. "But I'll be back at five o'clock, okay?"

She nodded and smiled slightly, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly, burying her face into my shirt. It felt to me like she really didn't want me to go and I didn't want to either, but if she wanted me to, didn't she? I felt that I had to respect her wants and wishes. I leant down and took her chin with my finger, making her look at me. My lips brushed over hers and kissed her softly. I was surprised by the sudden intensity she kissed me back with. It was almost like we weren't going to see each other for years, if ever again. It worried me. I didn't want to let her go. I sighed and pulled away slowly, wrapping my arms around her back, looking into her dull eyes. My finger swept up from her chin to her temple and kissed her forehead softly. I went to pull away, but she caught me again and kissed me the same way and then let me go.

I grabbed my jacket, wondering what I to do with it. It was easier to carry than my shirt. I pulled the curtain to the side and took my shirt off and went to pull my jacket on when she pulled it from my hand. I looked at her confused by what she was doing. She threw it behind her and smiled. My eyes narrowed, still confused. I went over to her side, and picked up my jacket as her hands softly ran over my chest and stomach. I stood there, looking at her, wondering what she was thinking. She glanced up at me and smiled, mouthing your beautiful Jacob. I fell red in the face, a whispered the same back to her. She leant up and placed a kiss over my heart, handing me my jacket as she sat back down.

I leant back down to her level, looking into her eyes as her looked away from me. My left hand swept down the side of her face, making her look at me. I kissed her one last time, feeling my heart warm as her hands ran over me and wrapped her arms around my back while she kissed me back slowly this time, before pulling away.

"I love you Jacob. I always will," she murmured against my lips, I could feel a tear running down the side of her face, and at that moment I felt like I shouldn't be leaving, but it was what she wanted.

"I'll love you too, forever Renesmee. You know that. Get some rest."

Her arms dropped from me and I pulled away, throwing her my tee shirt with a smile, and pulling my on jacket quickly, not bothering to zip it up. I went out of the room quickly as I could, before my mind was changed by my own wants of staying with her. I wondered what people thought as I passed them in the hall.

I walked out of the hospital shaking, wanting to forget everything, to run free and think of nothing but the distance that I was putting between us, and the feeling of the air around me while running. I crossed the road, shaking violently. I only just got out of my jacket and jeans before phasing. The last thing I needed was to rip another pair of jeans. I only had two pairs left as it was.

I picked up my clothes and started to run for home. I was grateful that I was the only one out running. I wanted to be alone and think to myself, without having the others thoughts in my head too.

Running to home, I looked to the sky, seeing the stars and moon lighting my path ahead of me. I howled loudly as I finally crossed the lines of La Push and Forks. It felt nice to have the wind running through my coat, feeling the fresh air in my lungs and the dirt under my paws while running. I had missed it so much. I had missed all the feelings of been in my wolf form. I had missed the moon and the night sky more than I thought I ever would. I felt free.

Coming up to the old wooden cavern, not far from first beach, I dropped my clothes and phased back, shaking my shoulders of the heat left over from the shift. I found the key and unlocked the door, picking my clothes up as I walked in. I had no idea where my father was, nor my sister Rachel. But it felt like I had the house to myself. I guessed Rachel was staying with Paul, after all he was her boyfriend, though, I never really trusted him with my sister, but she was old enough to look after herself and make her own decisions. At least Paul knew if he did anything to hurt her, he would be answering to me.

I looked around the house, seeing that it was empty. I was glad that it was. I just needed to be alone. But I couldn't help but wonder where my father was. I guessed he was over at Charlie's house or Sue's. He often hung out with Bella's father a lot at this time of the year so he couldn't miss the sport on TV. That and he really enjoyed Charlie's company. At times even Sue would go over and join them. Both my father and Sue had become close since her husband died years back. I felt sorry for their kids Leah and Seth. I constantly head Seth thinking of his father while running with him. I think losing his father had a greater impact on him than it did to Leah. I guessed it was because Leah was all grown up and didn't really need the fatherly advice that her brother still needed. I think Seth was glad to know that I was only a year older than him and we could relate on so many different levels. At times he felt like a kid with how playful he would get. He sort of felt like a son to me with the things I used to help him with. I smiled at the thought. He and Renesmee were also good friends. She loved playing with him in his wolf form. He was a lot smaller to me and it was less likely he could hurt her like I could if I were to play with her in my wolf form. They used to always fight and play around in this season, when it wasn't too cold or hot. But I always watched them, making sure that Seth never got too rough with her.

I turned on the taps of the shower and stepped in. I had missed the feeling of the warm water flowing over my back. The hospital's water was always was cold, because it was usually all used up by the time ten o'clock came. I stepped back out and dried off before falling back into my soft bed. I couldn't believe how much I had missed my own bed. It was so much softer than the chair or even the bed at the hospital. How much I had missed my own old life.

I curled onto my side, pulling up a sheet and looking out my window to the now windy night, seeing the trees swaying from side to side, and the wind blowing through the glass like there was something moving through the grass at an amazing pace. Slowly my eyes drifted to a close while watching the scene outside.

When I woke up, I was laying in yellow, brown long grass, looking up at the blue cloudless sky. The sun actually felt warm, but it was obviously still autumn with all the trees around me been a burnt red, yellow or orange. The breeze was cool but nice. I smiled, looking up at the sky, raising my hand to the air, feeling it flow through my fingers while the sun shone down on me. It was so warm. I felt human again. I felt the cool bite to the wind now.

I head a familiar giggle and sat up, looking around me and then saw Renesmee below me, sitting where the slop of the hill started. I smiled at her, watching her look at me and giggle before looking back to the trees before her on the flat ground, around three-hundred metres away from us. I got up and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, kissing her forehead and making her giggle again.

"I missed you," I murmured almost silently into her ear and kissed her neck. She moaned at my touch and half giggled and sighed at the same time. I smiled at the way she reacted to me.

"I missed you too," she said, pushing me onto my back too quickly for me to realize what she was doing to me. I looked into her eyes, seeing the light of her life in them. I saw everything she was thinking, how she was feeling, everything in them. How I loved her eyes.

"Play with me," she whispered, running her hand over the side of my cheek softly, before standing and running over to a small tree not far from us.

"Play with you?" I questioned, sitting up and looking at her, wondering what she meant.

"Yeah, how Seth used to play with me, before you got him too busy to play with me anymore," she said in a sweet childlike innocent tone.

"Oh, you think that do you?" I asked in a teasing tone. She giggled and bit her finger sexily, running around the tree as I chased her, making her laugh as we ran sillily around the tree like we were kids again playing a game of tag. I wrapped my arm around her waist as she fought against my hold, waving her arms and kicking like a child as she giggled loudly. I brought her against me as I fell back against the autumn grass, laughing with her. She leant back on me, wrapping her arms around my chest and stared up at the sky and the rolling clouds that were now coming around from the horizon. She lent up on me, looking down to me with wild eyes. I could see she was planning something.

"Play with me," she murmured again and lent down me again, kissing me softly.

"I'll hurt you."

"No, you won't Jacob. That's just the thing, you can't," she smiled, standing up, smiling widely down at me, and offering me her hand. I took it quickly and stood. I gave her a crooked smirk. She took the signal and started running. I pulled my shirt off quickly and started to run after her. I forgot that I still had my jeans on until I phased and ripped them, but my mind didn't go to them. It only went to playing with her. She giggled as I ran a head of her, growling playfully at her. I pushed her over, standing over top of her and phasing back. She smiled, running her hands over my bare chest with her smooth, warm and soft hands. I couldn't help but sigh at the feeling of her touch.

She giggled again, murmuring, "Naughty Jacob." I looked at her confused by what she meant and then I realized that I had phased back and had no jeans to put on. I turned a little red in the cheeks, embarrassed. I sat back in the long grass, looking up to the sky and to the horizon. It was a beautiful place, beautiful and peaceful. I felt her arms wrap around my neck, holding onto me tightly as she kissed the back of my neck.

"Don't feel ashamed Jacob."

"Your father will kill me."

"My father isn't around, now is he?" she giggled, pulling me back against her until I was lying on top of her, looking up to the sky again. I sighed as her hand run slowly over my shoulder, down my peck to my stomach. I listened to her soft breathing. She was still a little breathless from running. I took her hand from my abs and kissed the back of it, looking up to her from the corner of my eye. I enjoyed just lying there with her, just enjoying each other's company.

My eyes closed at the feeling of the sun shining on me and the breeze passing over us. I had missed the things of been human, but that was the thing, I wasn't human . . . and then I realized, I was dreaming. None of it was real. But I didn't care. I was going to act like it was real. It felt real and that was enough for me. I took her hand, twining our fingers together tightly and brushed my thumb over her fingers.

"Come on. Let's have a race Jacob!" she beamed out suddenly.

"What's the point?" I asked in a fed up tone, playing with her. She looked down to me, seeing what was wrong. I smiled darkly. "You know that I'll only win anyway." She burst out laughing, standing up quickly and offering her hand to me once more. I took it, but pulled her back down to me again, holding her tightly in my arms. She giggled, fighting against me at first, but then relaxed in my grip and sighed, looking out to the horizon while leaning into me. I sighed, wishing this moment would never stop, but I knew it would.

I could hear the sweet call of the birds around us and the smells of autumn in the breeze. It was fresh and alive. I loved the feeling, and I loved the feeling of having her at my side, sharing it with her, every step of the way. I was truly lucky. I felt my heart warm greatly when she leant into my shoulder.

"I'll race you, to the end of the valley and back. One . . . two . . . three!" She got up and started running. I gave her a head start and phased before running after her, but I didn't run at my full speed. I sat back in a slow run, watching as her mauve silk dress moved in the breeze while she ran. She looked like a princess in the sunlight. I howled at the feeling of the breeze flowing through my coat while running and the feeling of the dirt moving under my feet while running quicker. Everything at that point I was grateful for. Everything felt just so incredible. I wouldn't have it any other way, nor would I give it up for anything in the world . . . well, maybe someone. _Her. _

She beat me to the end of valley. She giggled at the end of the valley when I finally met up with her. I phased back, flopping back against the grass, catching my breath. She looked down at me, giggled and supporting herself against the side of the tree. "Are you ready?

"Renesmee no not yet, please. I need another minute. Please," I begged. I really didn't need the extra moment. I was ready to run, but this time, I wanted to win, and she could see that. "One, two-"

I awoke gasping in my bed with sweat clinging to me like I hadn't ever felt before. The second I had awoken, I felt emptiness within my chest. I bit my lip, thinking back to what I had just been dreaming of. It was us, in a meadow or valley of some kind. It was a good dream it wasn't anything to be scared of. I couldn't work out why the feeling had come to me, but then my phone beeped. I looked to the clock and it was half-past-four. I picked up my phone seeing I had five text messages and ten voice messages. That was when I realized everything. I didn't need to see or hear any of the messages to know, she was gone. My heart felt like it was cut into a billion pieces. I felt like I couldn't breathe or move. I didn't even feel like I had a pulse. She knew what was going to happen. That was the whole reason she wanted me to leave. I knew I shouldn't have!

My hands turned into fists as I couldn't fight back the tears any longer. I felt broken and lost inside. There was no life left for me anymore. I had nothing to live for. I had no reason to keep on fighting; I was just fighting to get through the night now. I knew I shouldn't have left! I just knew! Everything was telling me, don't leave! But I ignored it and now . . . my life was gone. Nothing was going to make it better or fill the pieces that I had lost tonight.

I got up quickly and pulled a black backpack from under my bed and threw it upside down, getting all the junk that was in it out. I shoved a few shirts in to it, some jeans and my phone after turning it off. I threw the bag over my shoulder and ran for the door. I couldn't stay around here anymore. There were too many memories and too much pain here. I couldn't stay.

As I opened the door, Rachel was standing on the other side of it. I saw the tears in her eyes and stepped past her. "I'm so sorry Jacob," she murmured and grabbed my wrist, trying to stop me, but I pulled it out of her grip. "Jacob stop! Where are you going?"

"Leave me alone Rach."

"Jacob! What about . . . everything?" she ran up to me, grabbing my shoulder and making me look at her. I was shaking again, but I was in control. I knew what she meant by _everything_. My sister knew of all people knew what words would hurt me the most. She was the best at skipping around them.

"I don't need to see and remember her lifeless Rachel. I've seen enough of it over the past few months. Tell Bella I'm sorry." I shook off her hand from my shoulder and just kept walking towards the forest. I saw Embry on the side of the forest.

Soon as he saw me, he knew what I was doing. He grabbed my shoulder. I pulled away and pushed past him, my walk turning into a run as I let the tremors run through me.

"Get back here Black and face it like the man you are!" he shouted to me.

"You're not my Alpha!" I bit back and let the shift come over me before running through the forest at full speed, not wanting to be stopped. Soon enough I was out of La Push and Forks. I left everything behind, including my pain. Now I was just numb. I was back in my painless life. The life before Renesmee . . .


	3. Healing

It had been two years since I had lost Renesmee, but it still only felt like it was yesterday. Maybe it was because I thought about her every day, scared of forgetting everything we had together. Maybe it was because I wished I was there with her. Whatever it was, I wished the pain would go away. After the first year, I went from been numb to pain and at times, I wished I was still numb. It was better in my eye to pain. I wanted to forget, but I also wanted to remember, and I knew, if I forgot, it would only cause even more pain than what I was already feeling.

Exactly after a year of her death, I called Bella and told her how sorry I was. She was just happy to hear my voice and she wanted me to come home. It seemed to be that things had fallen apart between her and Edward since Renesmee died. That had to be hard on her.

The day after leaving, I signed up to be a donor. I didn't know why, but I just got the feeling to do it. I guessed it had something to do with Renesmee. She had needed a donor and didn't get one soon enough. It felt like the least I could do.

Like I knew I would, I went back to my old life: partying, drinking, and getting into trouble. I know, I knew better, but it felt like it was the only way that I could cope. I forgot the pain when I was with music. It was another thing with Renesmee. Music, was what she thought was life. She thought how incredible it was to change your mood from low to high. I felt like she was with me whenever I played music. I felt like some of the music I came across was messages from her. I felt like someone was always there watching over me, and I was pretty sure that I knew who it was. I talked to her all the time. I know, it sounds crazy, but I just felt like she was there sometimes, walking along with me. I would suddenly feel happy like when she was with me and warmth would come around me. I knew it was her. She was the only person to have ever made me feel like that. I never felt like I was alone, even when I was in my apartment building.

After running off to Seattle, I quit phasing. I hadn't been in my wolf form since I had run off, and I think that slowly my inner animal was dying. I felt the cold now and the heat. Also I never heard my inner animal pushing me into the things it wanted to do, nor did it push to take control of me, but I still healed fast like before. I guessed that I could still phase, but I was worried that if I did, I would never turn back to my human form, as I knew just how well my inner animal could take over my emotions and pain. It could deal with things far better than I ever could.

I was walking down the streets of Seattle. My leather hoodie covered me as I walked through the heavy and cold rain with my hands in my jean's pockets, just trying to keep warm. I shivered as the icy wind kissed my cheeks and left again. The skies were dark as midnight and it felt as if there would be snow soon to follow the rain. I could feel people's eyes on me as I walked down and through the streets. I never looked up for to see who or what was under the hood. I guessed they wondered if I was up to no good or not. I couldn't blame them for wondering, but I also didn't care what they thought. I didn't care what anyone thought anymore. If someone didn't like who I was, they go to hell as far as I was concerned. I wasn't going to change for anyone.

I don't know why, but suddenly my hand moved out of my pocket and into the cold rain. I didn't feel like I had any control over its movement. My hand was wet and cold for a brief moment and then it became warm, like someone was holding my hand in theirs. Then the same warmth spread across my lower back like someone was holding me close to them. My shoulder also got the same feeling. I smiled, suddenly feeling like I used to. I knew who it was with me.

"Hey Ness," I couldn't help but murmured it. I just felt like she was there. Maybe I was going crazy with partying so much and drinking so much, but I didn't care if I was. It was a way of coping as far as I was concerned, even if it was crazy. The second I said her name, I could have sworn that there was a tug around my waist, like I was been held tighter against her. I wished that I could have held her back. I just wanted to feel her again. See her eyes. Touch her soft and warm skin, and have one final kiss upon her full beautiful lips.

I shook my head, sighing lightly. "You have no idea how much I've been missing you. I just wished that things could go back to the way they were. . . Both of us together and happy just like it and we used to be. I just wish the pain would go away." I felt my hand go cold for a moment and then a feeling like a warm hand running over my heart. I placed my hand where the warmth was. I knew her hand was over my heart and I wanted to hold and touch her hand back, and for now this was as close to holding her hand I could get.

The warmth from over my heart disappeared after a moment and went back to my hand. I kept walking down the streets and past a few shops. I stayed silent, not knowing what more to say. The warm feeling from around my back and hand disappeared after a while and the second I realized it was gone, something in the middle of the street caught my attention. Something shone brightly at me in the street and for some reason I couldn't pry my attention from it. I looked around myself, seeing no one was around me, I walked over to it, seeing that it was a ring. Picking it up, I gasped in shock. It was _my_ ring, Renesmee's ring. I had given it to her and she never took it off. My words to her just before I gave her the ring suddenly came to me. _"I was planning on something a lot different to this, but, I want you to have it when I can't be around. . . Renesmee Carlie Cullen, will you marry me?"_ I suddenly knew where her ring had come from. She had given it to me, for when she couldn't be with me. I shook my head, a slight smile coming to my face as a tear ran down my cheek.

I couldn't believe it.

I took the ring into my hand, looking it over. It was without a doubt Renesmee's ring. It had the date engraved inside of the band when my father proposed to my mother. _June 6__th__ 1985._

I stood up and slipped the ring over my finger and the second I slipped it on, the warmth around my hand returned. I smiled again. "Thanks Ness," I murmured as I kept walking, keeping my thumb touching her ring as I kept walking past a few shops. I had a sudden feeling to run to a certain shop just ahead of me. It was an electronics shop. I went up to the shop windows and saw a TV in the middle of the window. There was a music video playing and I instantly knew that it was Cher's song Believe. I listened to it carefully, knowing that Ness wanted me to listen to it. She had brought me here to listen to it.

_After love_

_After love  
After love_

_After love_

_After love  
After love_

_After love_

_After love  
After love_

_After love_

_After love  
After love  
No matter how hard I try  
You keep pushing me aside  
And I can't break through  
There's no talking to you  
It's so sad that you're leaving  
It takes time to believe it  
But after all is said and done  
You're gonna be the lonely one, oh_

Do you believe in life after love  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough now,  
Do you believe in life after love  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough now

What am I supposed to do  
Sit around and wait for you  
Well I can't do that  
And there's no turning back  
I need time to move on  
I need love to feel strong  
'Cause I've had time to think it through  
And maybe I'm too good for you, oh

Do you believe in life after love  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no  
Do you believe in life after love  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no

Well I know that I'll get through this  
'Cause I know that I am strong  
And I don't need you anymore  
No, I don't need you anymore  
Oh, I don't need you anymore  
No, I don't need you anymore

Do you believe in life after love  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no  
Do you believe in life after love  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no  
Do you believe in life after love  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no  
Do you believe in life after love  
I can feel something inside me say  
I really don't think you're strong enough, no

I smiled as the song as it ended. I knew what she was trying to tell me. She was challenging me, like she always did, because she knew that I knew that I loved to take on challenges. She thought that I wasn't strong enough to believe in life after love. I was determined to prove her wrong. I smiled again, brushing my ring with my thumb. I felt a warmth on my cheek before it disappeared altogether. I wished that she hadn't left so soon, but I knew, she knew, that the pain would stay while ever we clung to each other like we were. We would always miss each other, always cling to each other, but now, it was and had to be different. She knew that I needed to move on, to live my life and she was letting me, and at least I hoped that was what she was trying to get me to do. And that I wasn't just seeing what I wanted.

I scoffed, wondering if all this was actually happening. Maybe I was still drunk and imagining it all. Maybe none of it was real and I was dreaming. But it couldn't be like that. It couldn't be, because, I knew when I was sober, because she only ever came around when I was sober. All of it was real, I hoped.

I walked around the corner of the shops and into a neighbourhood street. I walked for a while, allowing the rain to fall upon my shoulders. It was after half an hour of walking in the rain down through the neighbourhood street that I saw a moving truck drive past me. I looked up to see a woman in front of a house in the rain, with boxes everywhere outside. She was working and moving fast, trying to get her stuff out of the rain. The moving guys were just unloading it all onto the street and not bothering to help her at all with bringing the boxes inside. She went to pick up a box and fell back on the street path as the box was too heavy for her. She looked only around twenty.

"Hey, slow down. I'll help you," I shouted, running up to where she was working. She turned around with hearing my voice and I couldn't believe who it was. I would know her face and eyes anywhere. It was Angel.

"Jacob," she whispered. There were tears in her hazel eyes. She closed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around me tightly, crying into my shoulder. I didn't know why she was either so happy to see me that she was crying or already so upset, she just needed someone to talk to and hug.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked, placing my hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye. She sobbed slightly and nodded. She went back to the boxes, almost falling back onto the footpath again when she went to pick up the heavy box. I caught her before she could fall. She smiled up at me slightly.

"Here, let me help." I picked up the wet box and quickly moved it inside for her, along with all the other heavy boxes. I couldn't believe it when the moving guys just drove off and left us in the rain to take in her things. That really annoyed me. Couldn't they see that she needed help and was upset?

Once all the boxes were inside, I saw that all her furniture was already inside thankfully. Well, it was the least they could do. We were both soaking wet. I found a huge heater in one of the boxes and dried it off so we could use it. I placed it in front of her lounge and turned it on. I sat beside her, getting my jeans and jacket dried. She seemed distant. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, and to pull her into my arms to make her feel better, but at the same time, we hardly even knew each other, so it was going to be awkward, no matter what I did.

I heard her sigh deeply and looked to her. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her legs, with her knees to her chain, looking directly at the heater in front of her.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly. She nodded, staying silent. "What are you doing here?"

"I just moved here."

"Why?"

She stayed silent again, gathering her thoughts together. I wondered what she was thinking about. What was keeping her silent? I just wanted to comfort her. But I needed her answers to help her.

"As a child, my father was always abusive. Ever since he . . . went to jail, it seems to be that I attract abusive people into my life."

I looked to her in shock and saw her pull down the side of her top, so that the skin of her back showed. There was a dark bruise on her shoulder blade. I tried to figure out who and what had done that to her. She caught me off guard by saying that and showing me her bruise. I just thought that it was something about the stress of moving or her things getting wet, but at the same time, I did have a feeling that there was a whole lot more than just the fact of moving was upsetting her.

"Who did that to you?"

"My boyfriend Tyron," she answered.

"Why? I don't understand."

"He was drunk, and he kept saying that I was talking stupid again. I couldn't help it and he hit me to shut me up."

"That doesn't give him the right to do that to you Angel. Come here." I pulled her into my arms, seeing that she needed someone to rely on, someone to trust and protect her. I wanted to be that person, but I didn't know if I could or should be. I had my own problems and I didn't know if I was ready to protect someone else yet. But, I would try. I knew that she needed help, and it was clear to me that she trusted me. Otherwise she wouldn't have opened up to me like she had. She wouldn't have said the things she just had.

Her arms wrapped around me tightly and enjoyed the comfort that I was offering to her. I hadn't felt the touch of a human in over two years and I know this sounds totally fruity and corny, but I had missed it. There was just something about the touch of a friend that felt nice. It felt . . . human.

"What were you saying, for him to think you were talking stupid?"

She leant away from me then and shook her head. "You'll only think I'm stupid Jacob."

"No, I won't. I promise." I touched her hand, taking it carefully into mine to show her that I really wouldn't think she was stupid. If she only knew what I had been feeling lately she would understand what I was saying.

I watched her eyes and the second I touched her hand, her eye colour changed, it was aqua again, like the last time I saw her. What was with her eye colour changing like that? I remembered how she suddenly knew how I felt about Renesmee too, and I had never told her a thing about Ness. I wanted to ask her how she knew about my feelings for Renesmee and know why her eyes changed colour, but I wanted one answer at a time and I knew that if I asked her too many questions, it may make her feel uncomfortable. And I didn't want that.

She signed, looking to the cream carpet between us while holding my hand.

"I'm sorry about Renesmee, Jacob," she suddenly murmured. I looked at her, shocked that she knew. I hadn't even told her. She caught my gaze, holding it for a moment as I was about to question her. I was literally speechless.

"H-how do you . . . know?"

"I'm a medium Jacob."

"A medium, what's that?" I hadn't ever heard of a medium, apart from the size medium of course. She sighed again, staying silent for a moment. Then, I felt my back warm, like someone was leaning up against me. It felt like there were arms wrapped around me tightly.

"It allows me to connect to the spirit world. I can hear, see and feel those who have passed on." She looked up to me then, and looked startled for a moment before a smile came to her face. "Jacob, would you believe it, if I said that Renesmee was behind you? Holding you?"

My mind felt like it was swimming with what she had just said. I didn't even know there was such thing as a person that could connect to spirits outside of my tribe, but even then, they couldn't see them, nor could they hear them or feel them, it was more like the spirit could talk through them. I didn't even know if it was the same thing as to what Angel had.

When she said that she could also feel them, I felt a shiver run through me and the warmth around me tighten. And if that wasn't enough, she _really_ caught my attention when she asked me if I believed if Renesmee was behind me. It didn't surprise me if she was, but I just couldn't believe it. I mean, I did believe she was behind me, but it seemed impossible, and yet, it wasn't? How could that be? I shook my head, unable to speak. It just seemed mind blowing to me! It was incredible. That was the only word for it, incredible!

"Y-yes, I believe you. I feel her. I've felt her all day." I stuttered, lost for words. I just couldn't believe it. When I first shifted into a wolf I was so confused, and just thought it was a dream, but this, this was completely different. I hadn't ever been so blown away before. How could it even be possible?

I looked up to Angel, seeing her eyes wide with the only thing I could see was shock. "You feel her? What do you mean?" she questioned.

"I feel warmth around me, like someone is holding me right now. I was walking in the rain earlier and there was warmth around my hand, like someone was holding it. I feel like I used to when she was around, when I'm feeling the warmth. I know it's her. She was always warm before she got sick. She felt like the sun to me."

"She felt the same about you," she smiled. I already knew that. Renesmee had told me that herself. It just seemed so incredible to me that Angel did this kind of thing. "I think that you could have a strong connection to it Jacob."

"Maybe," I answered. "But, I haven't felt anyone else other than my mother and Ness. How did you know, how I felt about Renesmee, before . . ." I trailed off, not been able to say the final word of my sentence. I felt the warmth around me, grip even tighter again. I could feel her hand on my stomach as she held me. I still couldn't believe that I wasn't dreaming.

Angel smiled slightly, lifting my hand to wear I could feel Renesmee's on my stomach. How did she know? I knew how she knew, obviously, but, it was just too . . . well you know. I've already said it like a thousand times. I just couldn't get over it. "Your mother told me. She told me everything. The second time I saw you, she told me why you were there. She told me what was wrong with Renesmee and she also told me what was going to happen. That's why I had to run off suddenly. I knew what was going to happen and I couldn't tell you."

I nodded understanding. I wished in a way that I had known what was going to happen, but at the same time I was glad. I still wished that I had stayed the final night with her. She knew too what was going to happen, that's why she asked me to leave.

"You two shared something strong, didn't you? Soul Mates . . . You're both connected. It's like been Soul Mates, but it goes deeper than that."

I took a deep breath, not knowing how to start to tell her just how right she was. "First of all, how on earth did you know that?" I asked, with a hint of humour in my tone. This girl just knew how to knock things on the head! She amazed me beyond belief!

"She just told me about the dream you were both in, when she passed on. She was alive when she was dreaming, up until . . ." she paused and I knew where and when she had passed on.

"Just before the race . . . she looked different, but at the same time, just like herself."

Angel nodded, and continued. "That was when she was passing Jacob. She had gone when you woke up. You were both together spiritually, because of the bond you two shared and still do. But there's one part she won't tell me. She keeps saying '_he'll tell you, if he wants to._'" She eyed me carefully. I was thankful that Ness was leaving that part to me to explain.

"Now I'm the one who will sound crazy Angel," I chuckled. "I'm from the Quileute Tribe and in the past legends, it was said that we protected the lands in a wolf form, but watched over our people in a spirit form. I'm a werewolf. And Renesmee was my imprint. An imprint is just like a Soul Mate, but stronger. You would do or be anything for them. If I had it my way, I would have died, if it meant that she lived."

She nodded once and to what I had just told her, it didn't seem at all out of the ordinary for her. It surprised me at how well she had taken it.

"She said don't think like that. She wants you to live on, even if it is without her."

"I know. It's just so hard."

"She said that's it's not anymore. I don't know what she means, but, she said that you would understand it."

I smiled, nodding again. She was right again. "Does she want me to move on? Is that what she's trying to tell me?"

"Yes, she is. She wants you to live like you were while she was with you, but with someone else."

I couldn't believe it. I knew that she was trying to tell me just that, but I thought that maybe I was reading things wrong. I wanted someone in my life to love and protect again, but at the same time I _only_ wanted to protect and love her like I used to. Things were just so confusing for me. I felt the warmth around me increase and then slowly disappear. I sighed as I felt cold again. My jeans were almost dry, but where still damp and making me cold. My jacket was dry as a bone. I looked out the window on my left side, seeing that it was still pouring down outside. I wanted to go home, but at the same time, I wanted to stay and make sure that she was okay. Everything was confusing me today. I didn't know what to do, what to say. I didn't even know what to feel anymore.

I sighed, rubbing my hands along my jeans, trying to get them dry faster. My hands were starting to burn with the friction between my hands and the denim of my jeans, but I didn't care. I was hardly feeling the burning, because my mind was on other things. I was trying to work out everything. What I wanted out of life now, what I felt about what I had been told, about Angel and her boyfriend. I wanted to protect her. That was the only thing that I was sure of.

"Does your boyfriend know your here?"

She sighed and shook her head. "No, but that doesn't mean anything."

"You think he'll find you?"

"I know he will."

"Is there anything you can do, to stop him?"

"There are only the police Jacob."

"Then, why aren't you calling them?" I looked at her, wondering just what I had asked her. Why hadn't she? Was she scared that he would find out before they could do anything? Was she scared that they wouldn't believe her? Whatever it was, I felt like I needed to be around to make sure that her boyfriend got what he deserved for what he had done to her.

"Because, I don't think they will believe me, and he'll only find out about it before they can do anything about it anyway."

I thought for a moment. "What if I can guarantee that the second you report him that you'll be protected from him or have him put in jail? And that they would believe you? Would you report him then?"

She nodded. "Of course, but how can you guarantee something like that?" She leant into my side and looked up to me as she questioned me.

"I know a cop in Forks. He'll help you. I know he will."

"Thank you Jacob," she murmured. I saw a smile light her face then. She did actually look like an angel when she smiled. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her into my side. I felt warm again, but this time, it was from Angel been so close to me, having her arms wrapped around me. I smiled at the feelings that I hadn't felt in so long. I had missed these feelings. The feelings were of warmth, protectiveness, and security, human touch, and love. But I still couldn't help but think that I wasn't doing right by Renesmee by feeling these feelings so soon after losing her. But she wanted me to move on. I had felt like she was trying to tell me that for a while now. It felt right, but at the same time, it felt wrong.

"If you'll allow it, I want to stay the night and make sure that your okay." I looked down to her, hoping that it was okay with her. I wanted to make sure that she was okay and that her boyfriend didn't come through the night and hurt her. I wondered if she trusted me enough to let me stay the night with her past of abusive men in her life. There was one thing I knew, and that was I wasn't going to ever hurt her! Emotionally or physically, I cared far too much to ever hurt her. Though, I knew that I would never love her like I loved Renesmee. I couldn't ever imprint again, nor did I want to. It would feel like I was replacing her with I even thought about trying to imprint again.

She looked up to me and smiled sweetly. "Of course you can Jacob. I feel so much better knowing that I won't be alone, but . . . I don't have anywhere for you to sleep."

I smiled back at her. "If you don't mind a giant dog curled up on your matt, I won't need a bed," I smiled, chuckling.

She laughed and lent back into my side. "Of course I don't mind," she smiled. "I don't know what it is about you, but, I feel safe when you're around."

_And safe you'll always be,_ I thought. I couldn't doubt the new feelings that were coming over me now. I wasn't cold now. I wasn't down and, I didn't hurt anymore. Nor was I scared of going into my wolf form. I knew I had moved on, but still had the love and memory of Renesmee with me, with the same intensity, and I would forever.


	4. Things Aren't What They Seem: Part 1

**Things Aren't What They Seem Part I.**

The second I heard Angel's bedroom door close, I took off my jeans and shirt and phased into my wolf form. I was so tired and I just wanted to sleep. To my surprised, I was actually warm in my wolf form. I didn't feel any draft from the windows or doors. It felt just like it used to.

I lay next to the rug, just beside the foot of the couch, looking at the slowly dying fire in front of me. I had lit Angel's fireplace not long after she accepted me into staying with her overnight, as the heater was no longer doing anything for either of us. It was just simply too cold for just heaters to keep you warm.

I watched the flame dance before my eyes. It was quick and sleek with each and every one of its movements. It reminded me of a fox. You didn't know where it was going to go next. I yawned and closed my eyes, giving in to the tiredness and fell into the darkness. Around two hours later I awoke to the scent of sickly-sweet. I growled slightly, knowing that I should be going out and looking for it. I still hated vampires with a passion.

After a minute, the scent got stronger until I heard a banging on the door. I listened to see if Angel had heard it, and when there was no sound coming from her bedroom, I shifted back and pulled on my clothes. I braced myself for whatever was on the other side of the door. I opened it slowly and silently and saw a young teenager like boy on the other side of it. His hair was a dark brown and spiky, eyes black as midnight, skin as white as snow and teeth as bright and sharp as mine. I knew what he was the second I saw him. I didn't need a sense of smell to know what he was, nor sight to know who he was. Somehow I sensed that he was looking for Angel, making him her boyfriend. Tyron.

I just wondered why she hadn't told me the missing detail that he was a vampire. I knew she had taken the truth about me far too well. She was lucky that he hadn't killed her yet. But that was the part that worried me. I could see in his eyes that he was thirsty and I was worried about his intentions of coming here, looking for her, at three o'clock in the morning.

He shivered a little when he saw me. I watched as his confidence blew away with the storm's wind that was growing outside. "I'm looking for Angel," he said. "Is she in?"

"Sorry, no Angel lives here," I lied and started to close the door, but was stopped by his hand pushing it back towards me. Damn he was strong.

"Don't lie to me. That is her stuff behind you. I know she lives here," he hissed. "Now, who are you to her? And why are you protecting her?"

My eyes narrowed. If he wanted it to be that way, it was fine by me. I had wanted a good fight with someone my own strength for some time now, but I couldn't think that way. He obviously had meant something to Angel at one time or another. I would get her answers before I would do anything, that is, if _he'll_ allow it and leave. If he thought that he was going to even step one foot inside, he could think again! He wasn't going anywhere near her on my watch!

"I told you. No one by the name of Angel lives here. Now back off before I call the police," I growled, looking deep within his eyes as I spoke. I thought he had finally gotten the idea when he started to back off when stepped farther outside, but then suddenly he was back in my face. His eyes were smug with the same appearance on his lips as he looked me in the eye sharply. "You have no idea who you're messing with dog," he said darkly.

"Neither do you," I growled, closing the door in his face and relocking it. I took a deep breath, leaning against the door, feeling slight trembles rolling through me every now and then. I wasn't used to dealing with vampires like I used to. I had been away from them for far too long now. Slowly I gained control over myself again, but that didn't mean that I wasn't still wary of what was going on around the house. I thought he still was maybe hanging around, waiting for me to leave so he could make his move, but he could think again if he thought that was I going to be leaving Angel any time soon!

Yawning, I went back into my wolf form and curled up in front of her bedroom door, just encase Tyron thought he could slip into her room. I didn't want to be far from Angel's side. I really didn't trust that guy. There was just something about him that told me that he wouldn't give up easily on getting what he wanted. He was typical vampire!

I wanted to stay awake and make sure that everything was okay, but my body had other ideas. I fell asleep again the second my head touch the soft carpet I laid on. I only awoke again when I heard my name been called softly and the same soft touch running down the side of my face. I leant into the familiar touch upon my skin with a smile coming to my lips. I had missed this touch so much. It had been too long since I had felt it. Suddenly a brush of her lips over mine and snapped me into reality.

My eyes flashed open to see Renesmee's face in front of me, smiling brightly like I remembered her. I looked around myself, confused to where I was. The forest, the trees, the sky, it was all familiar. I knew I had been in this forest before, and then I remembered when. I sighed at the thought, shaking my head of it suddenly, not wanting to think of the past. It was too painful. I knew it was another dream, but, I didn't want to think of it that way.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, moving over to her side as she looked out to the horizon. She looked to me suddenly, a slight smile showing. "I missed you Jacob," she giggled, pushing me back into the long glass, leaning over me and staring deeply into my eyes before brushing her lips over mine and holding our kiss. My hand rested on the side of her face; kissing her back with all the passion I hadn't been able to show her in two years. I had missed her so much. So much that it was incredible! I suddenly felt like I used to when she was around me. I felt happy, free and loved again. I hadn't felt that since . . . I lost her. I had missed those feelings.

I looked to her suddenly when she pulled away. I sat back up, watching her closely. The blue silk dress she wore moved slightly in the breeze passing around us. She was half smiling with shyness. "I shouldn't have done that," she whispered.

"And why not?" I questioned, wrapping my arms around her. She belonged in my arms. It then that everything felt right in my life!

"Because, you have Angel now Jacob," she answered, standing and walking away. I sat there for a moment confused before getting up quickly and running back to her side. "No, I want you Renesmee," I grabbed her hand suddenly, making her turn around to me. She smiled softly and kissed me again. "And you will, one day."

My eyes suddenly flashed open. I stood up in shock. My breath was quick. I was almost sweating and I didn't understand why. I lay back down with my eyes open as I thought about my dream intensely. I couldn't get my heartbeat down. It was racing like I hadn't felt it race before. I wanted to run and get my head clear, but I couldn't just leave Angel with Tyron possibly still around the house. I shook my head, hearing Angel's door behind me open. She looked down to me as I looked up to her. She smiled softly, not hint of fear in her eyes, but then her face turned to slight shock. "What are you doing sleeping here Jacob? It's the coldest part of the house," she said quickly.

I had originally told her that I was going to be sleeping on the rug in the lounge room. I could understand why she was questioning me. My mouth opened as I tried to speak, forgetting that I was in my wolf form. It was always so frustrating when this kind of thing happened. My eyes rolled, knowing I couldn't just phase back and speak to her. I grabbed my clothes from beside me and went into the bathroom. I phased back and got dressed before walking back out and finding Angel now in the kitchen cooking breakfast for the two of us.

I leant against the wall, my arms crossed tightly over my chest, staring down to the ground. "Why didn't you tell me that Tyron was a vampire?" I questioned suddenly with a tight and dark tone. I didn't understand why she would leave that part out. It was dangerous for both of us to have him around without me knowing what he was.

She leant against the kitchen counter, her arms supporting her weight as she leant back against it. "I'm sorry Jacob. I couldn't. It wasn't my secret to tell."

I looked up to her then. I understood what she was saying. It was just like I and the others. I couldn't tell anyone my secret without telling the other's secrets too. "I understand." As I watched her, I saw her face turn pale suddenly. She bit her lower lip, her hands on the counter behind her tightened. "How do you know he's a vampire, Jacob?" she questioned suddenly, holding my gaze while speaking.

I sighed, I couldn't lie to her. "He was looking for you last night. He came here." I watched her face drain of all blood. She was as white as a ghost now. She looked as though she was going to faint. I ran over to her side quickly, wrapping her arm around my shoulder so I could support her weight. "Hey, Angel, are you okay?"

She nodded faintly without looking up to me. I could see she was scared to the death of him. I pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat down with her leaning into my side. I could hear her heart beating quicker than I had ever heard a human's heart beat before. "It's okay," I whispered softly, over and over, trying to calm her as best as I could, but it didn't seem to be helping.

"Angel, he's not going to come anywhere near you, I promise." She looked up to me, tears showing in her eyes. I hadn't ever seen someone so scared in my life. To me, it felt like she had been on the run all of her life from him. I knew there was no way of getting a vampire out of your life easily, not without killing them.

"What if I said, that I could make Tyron leave you alone for good and forever?" I asked, looking down to her hiding her face within my shirt. "Then, I would say do it, as long as you're not putting yourself at risk Jacob," she sobbed. I sighed, knowing that part was impossible, but, then, I didn't need to be there to get him out of her life. The others could do it without a sweat. They would still be used to hunting vampires such as Tyron. I knew that if I fought him, it wasn't likely that I would be able to win. I wasn't used to fighting vampires like I had been before I left La Push.

"He won't come near you Angel. I promise."

She nodded. "Thank you Jacob."

I didn't really know what I had just agreed to at that point, but I was going to do everything in my power to protect her with my life. I hadn't ever seen anyone so scared in their life, and I didn't want to keep seeing that fear within Angel's eyes when I knew that I could stop that fear. I was going to help her, in any way possible. I could see that she needed real love, care and to be wanted for all the right reasons, and I wanted to be that person who gave all those things and more to her.

The day went on slowly, slower than usual. I helped unpack all of Angel's things that were in her boxes and everything that was too heavy for her. Soon enough her house was more like a home. It rained all day and it wasn't just any rain, it was icy. I knew that snow was well on its way.

I sighed looking out the window. I wanted to be out there hunting down Tyron. It was in my nature to go out and hunt anything down like a vampire that meant harm to the people I cared for. It was hard for me to be inside, working on other, less important things. But I had kept a promise to Angel, that I wouldn't put myself at risk for her.

I pulled out my phone and texted the guys, letting them know what was happening and what I needed done. It wasn't long before I had a heap of texts back saying they would help. I was glad that I had such great friend to rely on. I just hoped that none of them would get hurt while helping me. I wanted to join them, help them fight like the Alpha I was meant to be, but, I couldn't. I had made a promise and I was going to keep it, no matter how hard it was to keep.

The weeks seemed to slowly pass and there was no sign of Tyron, even when I went out looking for a while. But the thing I did notice was a difference in Angel. She seemed, drained and tired a lot. She was withdrawn from everything even. I was worried. She was paler and almost like she was weaker. I started to get the feeling she wasn't telling me something else that was happening in her life. I wished that she would tell me _everything_ that was going on in her life. I felt like I needed to know. I was falling in love with her, and I was protective of her. I wanted to be there for her in every way possible. I didn't think that it was possible for me to fall in love again after Renesmee, but I was and I found I wasn't so lonely any more. I felt like I had someone to talk to again, someone who understood me better than I even knew myself. But I hadn't even told Angel how I felt about her. To be honest, I was afraid of her response. I didn't get the feeling that she felt the same way. I hoped she did, but unlike Renesmee, I couldn't tell.

Another day in Seattle and again it was raining. It hadn't stopped raining for the past two days and even before that it was on and off. I hadn't ever seen so much rain coming down for this long before without a break of at least a day or two.

I stared down at the fire with blind eyes while sitting on the couch. I could hear Angel in her room doing something that sounded like she was either unpacking or packing a bag. When she stepped out of her room, I looked up to see her staring at the ground. "Is everything okay Angel?" I asked, getting up and going over to her side. She nodded, leaning into my side suddenly without saying a word. My hand brushed over the side of her face softly, making her look up at me. "Tell me what is wrong? I know there's something worrying you and don't tell me there isn't."

"I just got a doctor's appointment in Forks, that's all," she whispered. I knew that wasn't the only thing she was worried about. There was something more to it.

"What's the doctor's appointment for?"

"Just a check-up, no biggy," she looked up to me, slightly smiling, but her eyes were telling me that there was definitely something more to it than just that. But, I guess I couldn't just force it out of her. She looked away again, staring down to the carpet below us.

"When is it? I'll take you."

"The day after tomorrow at 10 o'clock," she sighed. "I would like that. Thank you Jacob." She looked up to me smiling. "You know, I've never seen the beach before. You could show me around La Push and its beach?"

I smiled now, wrapping my arms around her. "I would love to show you around. If you like, we can leave tomorrow and stay at my house. That way I have the whole day to show you around." Her face brightened then, along with her eyes. "I would love to do that Jacob!" she smiled brightly.


	5. Things Aren't What They Seem: Part 2 & 3

**Things Aren't What They Seem: Part 2**

I had to say that I really enjoyed the drive back home. I had missed home more than I thought I had. I had missed the greenery of the forest. The sweet scent of the fresh forest air as it passed through the car when the windows were wound down. The air was cool but I loved it. I had missed the fresh feeling of the cool air upon my skin. The cool air that only Forks and La Push seemed to provide.

It was good seeing Rachel and dad again. They were all for hearing what I had been up to since I left, but there wasn't really that much to be told. Rachel even had tears in her eyes when saw me as she opened the door to me. She really couldn't believe it was me. I couldn't blame her. For the stupid things I used to do, she would have easily guessed that I had killed myself the second I was out of town. They were happy to meet Angel also. Dad was happy to accept her into our home and was allowing her to stay in the spear room for the few days we were going to be staying in La Push for. It wasn't long after we arrived that both Embry and Quil heard that I was home and came over. Embry was ecstatic to hear that I was back. I had missed both of my friends greatly. I had missed all my friends and family greatly. I really didn't know how I had coped without them for as long as I had.

Both Angel and Rachel seemed to greatly enjoy each other's company. I heard Angel talking about how she could see people who had passed on and found out that my sister was into all of that type of thing. I hadn't ever known that.

It wasn't until the afternoon that I could get away from everyone and show Angel around the place. I started out with Forks, taking her to the diner for lunch, and then showing her through the forests of both La Push and Forks. I showed her the La Push falls with its small water fall. And then finally I showed her around the cliffs and the view of the ocean from standing on them. I held her hand carefully as we both watched the ocean's water crash up against the side of the cliffs as we sat together quietly. Each time I wondered if the waves would reach so far up the cliffs that it would touch us, but each time, it failed to do so. It seemed to be that the waves were angry today. The waves were crashing harshly against the cliffs, snaking up them higher than I had ever seen before. At first I thought there may have been a storm coming, but I couldn't feel it in the air if there was.

"C'mon, I want to show you second beach," I whispered, holding her hand softly in mine as we walked slowly down the steep surface. I felt her hand suddenly grip mine slightly. I looked down to her, seeing she was looking up to me, smiling brightly.

"It's so pretty here Jacob. I love it here. It's just something different to everything else I've seen before. " I smiled looking down to her, happy to hear her words. I thought the same thing. It did feel different to Seattle. It felt like La Push had a mystery to it, but it was a good mystery. I snickered to myself, thinking how true that was with the werewolves running around everywhere.

We slowly walked off of first beach and onto second. I loved second beach more. It was more secluded and the ocean was always more calmer. It was a peaceful place. Not many people came here. Throwing my shirt from over my shoulders and my jeans to my hips leaving nothing but my black boxers on, I ran from Angel's side toward the beach, letting my clothing trail behind me. I ran into the water, diving into an incoming wave and came back up for air. The water was cold, but it didn't mind me that much, even know I no longer had the heat of a werewolf in my human form. "Come on Angel! It's nice."

"I can't Jake. It's too cold." Her arms instantly crossed tightly over her chest as a light breeze came up.

"It's not, I promise. Plus, I'll keep you warm anyway. You know that I won't let anything happen to you."

I watched as she sighed, slowly taking her jacket and shoes off and left them on the side of the beach, leaving just her top and jeans on. She walked toward me, letting the ocean's water hit her bare feet as it came to the shoreline. Her face slightly grimaced when she started to slowly walk farther into the water and closer to me. Her eyes closed for a moment, allowing the cool breeze brush past her face.

I smiled, walking up to her and took her hand into mine again while her eyes were still closed. She glanced down to our hands and then back up to me. "Don't be scared," I murmured with a smile. She smiled back slightly. My arm wrapped around her shoulders slowly.

She looked to me with both confused and questioning eyes as I started to smirk crookedly. "Jacob, Jacob, what are you doing?" she screamed as I picked her up into my arms. "Jacob Black, put me down!" she screamed, trying not to laugh at the same time while hitting the back of my shoulder slightly as I turned us around in circles. I couldn't help but do something that I hadn't in almost three years. Laugh.

We were both laughing, like we didn't have a care or worry in the world. The moment, we were in, was just perfect. I wanted to have more moments like that, it was everything I needed and wanted. My life was starting to feel as though it was getting back to the way it used to be. The way I needed it to be. . .

She fought against my holding and somehow slipped from my arms and went running through the ocean's waves as they hit the shoreline. I smiled with hearing her laughing and seeing her smiling as I ran after her again and picked her back up in my arms as I laughed harder than I could ever remember laughing before.

A strong wave suddenly came up and knocked me off of my feet. I landed on my back, careful for Angel to land on me and not the ground. I stared up at her unreadable face looking down upon me. Her hand softly brushed from the side of my temple down to my chin while staring deep into my eyes. My eyes closed at the feeling of her soft touch. Her touch was like something I hadn't ever felt before. It was different to Renesmee's. It felt like magic ran through Angel's veins and it was coming out on me.

I smiled softly while keeping my eyes closed. "I love you Jacob," I suddenly heard her whisper. My eyes flashed open and toward her. My eyes hadn't even focused on her yet and I felt her lips connect to mine in a gentle and tender kiss. I sighed, not believing that she did actually feel the same way I felt about her. It felt too good to be coming true.

I stared up at her when she pulled away. I tucked a stand of her hair back behind her ear, my hand staying on the side of her face while I held her gaze, looking deep within her hazel eyes. "I love you too," I whispered, leaning up and brushing my lips over hers before holding the kiss for a moment. Her arms wrapped around me, making it feel as though our bodies were one. I touched my forehead to hers, looking to the shoreline next to us. "You have no idea how much that means to me to hear that back Jacob. I've never had it said to me before."

I looked back to her, slightly confused by her words. How wouldn't she had _ever_ heard those words said to her? Wouldn't her parents have said at least? Even if her father was abusive, wouldn't her mother say it to her?

I stayed silent while thinking. "You're like my moon Jacob. You light up the darkness when all I can see is darkness and no way out."

I smiled slightly at her words. "The darkness and way out of what exactly?" I questioned almost silently. She leaned away from me then, shaking her head. "Nothing," she whispered, shaking her head. "It's just how I feel with Tyron and all."

I sat on my side on the shoreline, letting the water sweep over the skin of my hands, and the skin of my back while watching her. I knew there was more to it than just that. "I keep getting the feeling that you're not telling me something Angel. Just tell me."

She shook her head again, not looking at me this time. "I can't." She kept staring down at the sand between us, one hand in the water with her other on the side of her neck, looking as though she was thinking deeply.

I sighed deeply, feeling frustrated by her blocking me out from the truth. I hated it when people kept things from me! It made me feel like they couldn't trust me. "Why can't you?" I sighed, looking to her, my hand brushing down the side of her face whilst I spoke.

When she looked to me, there were both tears and fear in her hazel eyes. "Because you won't love me if you know." Her voice cracked with sobs, leaning into me, wrapping her arms around my neck. My eyes widened slightly with hearing her words repeat in my head.

My arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly into my chest. "That's not true. I'll always be here. I promise." My voice was nothing but an almost silent whisper. I didn't believe what she had said. I loved her too much to stop loving her for whatever she was keeping from me. And I knew, that time would soon tell me what she was keeping from me. If I had learnt anything over the years, it was that time revealed everything.

Yes I love Angel dearly, but it's nothing to how I felt about Renesmee. I would always love Ness. I could never replace her, nor even think it. Renesmee still meant the world to me. She still meant more than my own life.

Her head shook in denial against my chest. I held her tighter. "I meant it. Angel, Angel, calm down," I touched her chin, making her look up at me. I stared deeply into her tearful eyes. "I may not feel the same way I do about you as I do for Renesmee, but Angel, you hold my heart. You've made me laugh and you've made me smile again. I wouldn't be here, where I am here today, without you. You can always count on me to be here for you," I whispered while smiling slightly. Touching her forehead to mine, whispered again. "I'm_ always_ going to be here with you."

She cried again, wrapping her arms back around my neck again, hiding her face into my chest. We sat on the beach together for what felt like hours. Whatever Angel was keeping from me, scared me greatly, but I was going to be always around for her. I felt like I had to be. I felt that she deserved that much in her life. She didn't seem to have anyone around her, other than me, who looked out for her. I didn't see that as fair.

**Things Aren't What They Seem: Part 3**

It wasn't long until the next day came, and I was wondering what the day would bring. Normally, I didn't even think about what could happen in the day, but today, there was something off about it. It was as though, I could sense something was going to happen. I thought that was I stupid thinking that when I awoke in the morning. But as it turned out, I wasn't. . .

In the morning, I noticed yet again, that Angel was pale, but today, it was slightly different. She looked drawn and tired around her eyes, but she insisted that she was just tired from travelling yesterday. I didn't really believe her. Something told me not to, but I didn't go pushing the issue. I wish I had though.

I asked before she left to see the doctor if she wanted me to come, but she smiled and shook her head, saying it was nothing. She would be fine going alone. I didn't feel right staying home and doing nothing but waiting for her to come back. She didn't even want me to come and wait for her in the waiting room.

It was when I saw the familiar number on my phone flash up while ringing that I stopped breathing for a moment. Carlisle. I hadn't had anything to do with him since Renesmee . . . It wasn't because I blamed him for her death, but more because I wasn't strong enough to see him or talk to him, until that moment. My breath was shaky when I opened my phone and spoke. I knew there was something wrong from the second I awoke. I had known something was going to happen.

I shook my head in disbelief as he spoke, tears running down the side of my face. I was glad no one was around the house at the time. I couldn't believe this was happening again!

As I ran down the hospital hall, it felt like déjà vu. Why was this happening again? I asked myself over and over. As I ran into her room, I saw Carlisle just leaving her side. I hadn't known that he was her doctor.

I looked to him with questioning eyes. "She's okay for now," he mouthed and stepped away. I stayed in the door way for a moment, shaking my head in disbelief again, while watching her sleeping, a tube around her face and an IV at her side. My bottom lip and breath was shaky and trembling, but this time, it wasn't because I was mad, angry and frustrated, it was because I was scared. I was scared for her, for us. I didn't know what to do.

The side of my hand ran down the side of her face as I sat down beside her. Her eyes were closed, as if she was in deep sleep with her hand by her face upon her pillow. The second I took my hand away from her, her eyes open slowly and looked up to me. "Jacob," she said almost silently.

I smiled slightly, tilting my head to the side. "Hey," I mouthed, leaning down and kissing her slightly and softly.

"I – I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm here, and I always will be." My thumb brushed over her cheek softly as her eyes closed again. I sighed, looking away and closing my eyes, trying to remain in the familiar feeling of been blank and clueless to what to do, rather than going into the emotions of fear and sadness. I didn't know why this was happening. I didn't know what I had done to deserve this and everyone around me had done that seemed to also be affected. I wished I could have just ran and left all the pain behind me for good. I wished that I could have been an emotionless animal, running in the wild that couldn't think or feel.

I stayed with her the whole night, hardly able to sleep even know I felt so tired. It was all déjà vu again and I hated it. I didn't feel like I was strong enough to go through this again, but I had to. I had to be strong for Angel. She needed me. She had no one else but me.

In the morning, at around six o'clock, I awoke at the feeling of my hand been squeezed slightly. I looked up to her and smiled, seeing that Angel was awake. "Your still here," she whispered.

"Of course I am. I always will be. I promised you that."

"That doesn't mean that you have to keep it your promise. I'm only going to hurt you again."

"Tell me what happened."

"I was born with a heart defect. It was supposed to be okay, but my father made it worse with how he acted. And then Tyron made it even worse still. Carlisle told me that I only had a year to live, three years ago, unless, they find a new heart for me."

"A donor's heart?" I questioned, not fully understanding what she was saying. She nodded and looked to the floor before speaking again. "But, I have a rare blood type, so it's near impossible for me to find it in time."

My hand rested on the side of my lips, shaking my head and looking at her with blind eyes. "What is your blood type?" I asked, almost in a silence whisper.

"Type O."

I shook my head in disbelief again. That was Renesmee's blood type, my blood type. How was this all happening? It couldn't be! It had to be all just a dream, a nightmare. It shouldn't be and couldn't be happening! Just when things were getting back to normal, to how they should be, to how they should have been! "Isn't there anything you can do, to slow it down? Isn't there something you can take to stop it?" I stared down at the floor before me, trying to keep control of the slight trembles that were passing through me every now and then. I looked up to her face after speaking. Her face was full of fear and hurt. I instantly took her hand, not wanting to see that look on her face. I wanted to take the fear and hurt out of her life. But, it wasn't just that easy.

She shook her head. "No, none that I want to go through with. I've worked around it all Jacob. I used to be a nurse. I saw this kind of thing all the time and I don't want to go through with it, only to put up with it for months, if not years and only to still die because of my blood type. It's not worth it."

The tears came to her eyes, but tried to fight them off. I shook my head, running my hands over my face. I stood and sat on the side of her bed, wiping her tears away while holding her hand tightly in mine.

After a while, her tears stopped and we sat in silence. I looked down to her eyes still open as she leaned into my chest while I brushed the back of her hand softly with my thumb. She looked up to me suddenly. I could see she wanted to say something, but didn't know how to. "Jacob, listen to me. I'm only going to cause you pain again. I don't want to do that, but, it's going to happen whether we like it or not. I fainted while in the waiting room yesterday." She paused, tears coming to her eyes again. "My heart is starting to fail Jacob. Carlisle said that I have two weeks if that. And I am not staying here to die in a hospital. I want to go home and act like there is nothing wrong with me. I want La Push to be my home now. But I don't want to hurt you."

My heart dropped with hearing that. Carlisle had told me she had fainted, but he didn't tell me that she had weeks to live. She turned into my chest, hiding her face in my shirt. My hand rubbed softly up and down her arm. I didn't know what to say, but I already knew my answer. I wasn't going to run off, and leave her to die with no one by her side. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. I wasn't going to take the easy way out! No way would I! She deserved better than that. And if I had to, I would stay there, the whole time. I would rough out the hard times and not run off like all the other times I had. I had to be stronger now . . . even if I wasn't.

She had already said that she wasn't going to spend her last days in the hospital. She had already said that she wanted La Push to be her home. I was going to make sure that her last days were going to be filled with everything she ever wanted to do in her life and to have the time of her life with me. I loved her enough to be there and do that much for her. She meant everything to me. She had made me, me again.

That was when I realized something important, that could alter her and my life. I placed her hand softly down on the bed which made her look up to me. "You're leaving?" she questioned, looking up to me. I smiled slightly, leaning back toward her and kissing her forehead. "I'm never going to leave Angel. I'm just stepping out for a moment. I love you."

She smiled brightly. "Thank you Jacob. I love you too."

My hand ran over the side of her face again before I left her room. I walked quickly out of the hospital and went outside. I took a deep breath, looking to the sunrise for a moment and sat down on the chair just outside of the automatic doors. I pulled my black wallet out of my back pocket of my jeans and took out my driver's license. My eyes stayed fixed on the little words of _donor_ and the little heart at the end of that one word. My thumb brushed over the wording and shape as I went deep into thought. I let out a deep sigh before I stood to my feet once more. I turned towards the hospital doors, walking back inside. Walking back down the hall toward Angel's room, I saw Carlisle at the front desk getting some papers from a nurse.

"Jacob," he said softly. I stopped, knowing he had more to say. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course," I whispered.

He stepped into office and closed the door behind me. I watched him, waiting for him to speak. This all felt too familiar to me. I hated it.

"I believe Angel wishes to go home?" he questioned, sitting in his office chair.

"Yes."

"I don't think she is able to look after herself alone."

"I'll be there, all the time. I'll look after her."

"You're sure?" his voice was slightly deeper now. I understood that he was wary of how I acted when things got tough. I couldn't blame him for questioning my intentions.

"Yes. I'll be there for her, the whole time. I won't leave."

He nodded once with stern eyes. "Okay, I'll get you her release papers then."

When I got back to Angel's room, she was sitting on the side of her bed, her hands at either side of her while staring down at the hard, tilted flooring. She looked up to me and smiled when she saw me. I smiled back and went over to her side, sitting beside her and wrapping my arm around her shoulders. I found her hand and squeezed it gently. She rested her head upon my shoulder while leaning into my side.

She looked up to me and smiled slightly. "So, where will we live in La Push?"

I smiled back, brushing my thumb over the side of her hand. "Where ever you wish to. But what about the house is Seattle?"

Her shoulders shrugged. "I don't know. Don't care. I don't really like Seattle anyway."

I got an idea then. I knew of a small wooden house by the beach not far from my father's house. It had belonged to my grandfather until he died years back. It was still in perfect condition. Rachel had made sure of that. It was fully furnished too.

"I know a place we can go," I whispered. "I'll show you later if you want?"

She nodded silently as a nurse came in and said that everything was ready for her to leave. The nurse made sure that Angel was strong enough to walk by herself. I kept my arm softly around the back of her shoulders just encase. I could see that she was still quite weak, but she was getting slightly better.

We walked outside and just around the corner was my red rabbit. I opened the door for her and helped her inside. I got in and looked over to the passenger side. She was smiling while watching me. "So what you do want to do today?" I asked while starting the engine.

"Today, I just want to curl up on the couch with you with the fire going."

"Okay. Sounds nice," I smiled back while starting the engine.

I couldn't help but feel weird about acting like there was nothing wrong with her while driving back to La Push. It didn't feel right to act as though everything was going to be okay in the end. Because, it wasn't, no matter how much she believed that it was going to be fine. But maybe, that wasn't her plan. Maybe she just wanted to forget about her worries and fears and live like she had never lived before? Whatever it was, I was going to be doing everything she wanted to do.

I wanted to help her, but I didn't know how I could, or even if I could. I felt like there were a million things that I could do to help her, but in reality there were very few. But the things I knew I could do for her that made her feel better I would do, to no end. I was there for her no matter what!

It felt like the trip back from Forks to La Push had been the shortest one ever. It felt like it had only taken me a minute or two to get back home. When I looked to the clock, I noticed that it had taken the usual amount of time.

The second I pulled up, Angel got out and onto her own two feet without any of my help. I wanted to say something like: 'hold on I'll help you.' But I had to keep reminding myself of her wishes of acting like nothing was wrong. It was going to be harder than I first thought to keep it like that.

Opening the door for us, I relocked it behind me after going in. I started the fire quickly and soon was hearing the heavy fall of the rain outside hitting the roof. I hadn't thought that it was going to rain today with how the sun had come up this morning, but slowly as the day went by, the clouds had started to enter the skies.

I was in a way glad that my father was with Bella's father, Charlie, watching the game and that Rachel was with her boyfriend. I often had the house to myself before I had ran off. I smirked slightly at the memories of Renesmee and I making out for hours on end while the house was empty.

Slowly the fire got going in our little lounge room. Its heat warmed the whole house up in no time at all. I closed all the windows and pulled the light curtains together to keep the house warm for Angel. She was sitting on the couch as I went back into the lounge room. She was watching the flame of the fire flicker before her eyes, looking as though she was deep in thought with her hands resting in her lap.

I went and sat by her side, but she didn't seem to notice my presence next to her. She just kept staring into the flame until I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She lay back against me as I lay down on the couch. I went into deep thought again while lying there, staring up at the ceiling. I could feel after a while Angel had fallen asleep against me. I pulled the little brown blanket from the back of the chair over her softly without waking her, hoping it would be enough to keep her warm.

After a while, I fell asleep too, until I heard the unlocking of the front door. I leaned up a little, looking in its direction and saw Rachel coming inside. I put my finger up to my lips, making sure she wouldn't wake Angel. She smiled slightly and nodded. I could hear her in the kitchen starting dinner. I couldn't help but wonder what we were going to say to everyone. I guessed that Angel just wanted it kept between the two of us . . . but that was going to be hard for me. I felt like some people should know. But it wasn't my health to speak of to others.

When dinner came around, I didn't know what to say. I just sat there eating and thinking. They didn't know what had happened yesterday, that I had stayed with Angel in the hospital. They didn't know she had fainted. They didn't know any of that, and I was sure that was the way Angel wanted it.

It seemed to be that the time was now passing quicker to its usual pass. It felt that way, even if it wasn't true. It felt like only a minute ago I had fallen asleep in my own bed when my alarm clock went off, telling me that it was six o'clock in the morning. I sighed deeply. I didn't want to get up yet. I was still too tired. But it wasn't about me anymore. I sighed again, getting up and forcing my feet to move. I checked Rachel's room and saw her empty bed, indicating she was still out with Paul. After dinner, Paul dropped by and picked up my sister. As usual, she was going to stay at his place for a night or two.

I went into the kitchen and started making breakfast. Looking out the window above the kitchen sink, I saw Embry phasing back into his human form and walking out of the forest toward the house. He smiled and waved his arm for me to come out. I placed the dish in my hand back on the counter and quietly slipped out of the house silently.

"Hey," I said softly as he walked up to me. Instantly I saw Embry's face change. He could tell there was something wrong and his words that followed only proved me right.

"What's going on Jake? What's wrong?"

I smirked slightly, watching the ground as I walked. "Nothing," I murmured. "Just tired. Haven't slept that well."

"Really, because I sense differ. Tell me what's going on?"

I shook my head, acting coy. "I told you."

"Whatever," he said, stopping and crossing his arms over his chest. "I wanted to ask you, if you want to come this afternoon and run with me and the others for a while? It's been so long since we've all been together."

I had to say, the idea sounded nice, but I couldn't. I had to be with Angel, and soon as I phased, the whole pack would hear what was going on with her. I couldn't have that happen. I looked up to Embry, and smiled casually. "Nah, I'm not in the mood. But thanks Emb." I turned back toward the house, thinking stupidly that Embry would let me go now. I should have known that he would see right through what I had said. I hadn't ever knocked going for a run with the others.

"Jacob? What is with you? You've never passed up running with us."

I turned around, acting coy the best I could. This was so hard. I hadn't ever kept a secret from my best friend before. "Nothing, I told you. I just don't feel like it." I turned back toward the house again.

"You've changed Jake," he murmured.

_No Emb, I just can't tell you everything I want to, _I thought with my eyes closed before turning back into the direction he had been in, but had now disappeared with no sign he had been there in the first place.

I hated keeping secrets, but this was a secret I had to keep. Even if Angel was okay with telling people, I wouldn't tell anyone, because then they would feel sorry for her, and me, and I didn't want people feeling sorry for me. It was my choice to stay and rough it out. It was the least I could do. I didn't know why, but I got the feeling that I had something to repay Angel. She after all helped me Renesmee. I would forever be grateful for that.

I headed back inside, closing the door behind me and leaning against it, staring down at the ceiling. I didn't know that anyone was still up until my father came out from his room in his wheel chair. "Morning Jacob," he said casually.

"Morning. Breakfast is almost done." I looked up to him, trying to act myself again. It was always easy to act like everything was fine around your father. Father's didn't pay as much attention to how their kids were acting and feeling as mothers' did. For that I was grateful.

"No – no. It's okay Jacob. I'm going over to Charlie's again."

"Okay, sure, sure. That's fine." More for me; even know I didn't really feel like eating. It wasn't long after that I heard Charlie pulling up outside and it wasn't long before I had the house to myself. Angel was still asleep and I was going to leave her that way until breakfast was cooked. She needed all the rest she could get.

I gently stirred the oats on the stove, adding a tiny bit of honey while stirring. Most people added honey after cooking the oats. I thought it gave the oats more flavour if you cooked the honey with the oats. I poured the oats into two blue bowls for the two of us. Just as I placed them on the dinner table, I saw Angel walking out of her room. She stood in the door way of her room, watching me with a slight smile on her face.

I looked up to her and smiled also with the sight of seeing her beautiful smile on her lips. There was just something about her that seemed so angel like, so special. I didn't know what it was and probably never would.

"Hey Jacob," she whispered softly.

"Hey." I went over to her side, and kissed her gently.

She giggled after a moment and pulled away. "Something smells good."

"Uh, yeah, breakfast. I hope you like oats."

"Love them more like it." She made her way over to the dinner table and pulled out one of the wooden chairs next to my bowl. She sat down gracefully and started eating. I couldn't help but watch her in silence for a moment. She was just acting like . . . everything was normal . . . just like she had wanted. I couldn't get over it, how well she was getting on with her life. She wasn't letting her condition get in the way of what she wanted to do. She was strong, stronger than I thought. I wouldn't have been able to do what she was doing right before my very eyes. Hell, I couldn't even act like everything's okay and I am not even the one with the problem. She was amazing me to no end.

She turned around slightly, looking over her shoulder and smiled sweetly again. "Well, what are you waiting for silly? Get eating before it goes cold," she giggled.

I snapped out of my dazed state of thought and shook my head. I went over to my food, sat down and started eating with her. It hadn't occurred to me that I had actually cooked her a heart healthy breakfast until I started eating it myself. Good. I hoped it helped her.

I smiled while watching her slowly eating beside me. She was so graceful with each and every one of her bites and mouthfuls she took. I hadn't seen anyone eat so . . . angel like and delicate. It was cute. That was the only word that came to my mind. Cute. She was cute.

I placed my spoon down in the bowl and pushed back my chair, watching her finish her own meal. "So, what do you want to do today Angel?" I questioned.

"I want to go and see that house you spoke of yesterday."

"Of course," I smiled.

"So where is it? What does it look like?" With the questions she was asking me, I could see her face brightening up with each word she said. Her eyes were even looking like they used to. I could see that her mind was off of her worries and problems, and on what she wanted to do and see. It was then that I realized it was all in the way she thought, how it affected her health. She could act all she wanted, like nothing was wrong, but it wasn't until her mind was fully off of the truth, that it actually showed in her body as well. She still had her worries and problems, but in her mind, she didn't, while ever she didn't have her mind on them. I guessed that was how she had gotten this far in her life. It was really a bonus gift that she had lived an extra three years to what Carlisle had given her three years ago.

"It's not far from here. You could probably walk there if you wanted. I'm not too sure. I can't even really remember what it looks like. I haven't been there in years. My sister has been looking after it."

Her smile beamed with excitement at me. I hadn't seen her so excited before. "Okay! I'm going to get dressed so we can go." She stood up quickly with the energy of a child after sugar and ran into her room. I found myself chuckling at her enthusiasm.

I picked up our bowls from the table and started washing them out in the sink. I looked back over my shoulder and into her direction when I heard her clear her throat, trying to get my attention. She wore a nice aqua tee shirt and jeans with a black leather jacket much like mine over her shoulders. I looked at the jacket with narrowed eyes, realizing that _was_ my jacket.

"Nice!" I smiled. "My jacket looks good on you."

She giggled, walking over to my side and kissed me softly. "I thought so too. Don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not my little angel," I smirked. She looked to me with aw set eyes. I couldn't help but smirk crookedly at her, holding her gaze for a moment. She definitely lived up to her name of being an angel.

The second I finished the dishes, we both ran out of the house like kids high on sugar. I was surprised by how fast Angel could run in her condition. She was almost as fast as me and just as fit if not more so. I had to say that I was very much impressed by how she had kept herself so healthy. I wasn't a health expert, nowhere near it really, but I could see just how much she was into it. She wouldn't have been able to run so fast for the amount of time she had and not be breathless if she hadn't kept herself fit and well.

Half way between my grandfather's place and second beach, I looked up to her standing in the sunlight laughing and giggling at how far she was ahead of me. "Come on Jacob! I'll beat you there!" she laughed and took off running. I smirked and took off running after her. Little did she know that I hadn't been running as fast as I could have been, but with the hundred to two hundred metres advantage she beat me to the house easily.

"Beaten by a girl," I said breathlessly with humour, leaning against the cream painted brick house. I looked to Angel with a dark smirk on my face. She laughed, while also catching her breath.

"Yeah, how does it feel?"

"Good, because she was better than me at running," I smiled.

"Uh huh . . . you let me win, didn't you Jacob?"

"What? No. You won, fair and square." And that was the truth. I never let anyone win. I liked winning too much to lose, but with Angel it was something different. I liked seeing her win. It made me even more proud of her than I already was.

Once we caught our breaths, I took the key from the top of the door and unlocked the house. The floor was all wooden and spotless from my sister looking after the place. The walls where a white-cream, all the furniture in the house apart from the white couch were made of wood and the fire place was made of grey stone. The cream white couch sat in front of the fire place and a white rug that ran from under the couch and across the room. The dinner table was to our left, the wooden stairs just away from the dinner table. Behind the stairs led into the medium sized kitchen. To the left of the fire place was a huge window with screen doors to go outside. The ocean wasn't far from the house at all. I loved it here. It was so warm and homely even know no one had lived here in years.

"I love it Jacob," she said quickly. "Are you sure your family are okay with us using it?"

"Of course they are. This place was meant to be mine someday and now it is," I smiled, looking down to her. She hugged me tightly, holding my hand tightly in hers when she let me go. "This place is incredible!" she said again. "It's so much better than Seattle."

I had to agree with her on that. I didn't go much on the city life. It was too much of a rush. It wasn't anything like living on the beach in the country. I loved living in La Push. There wasn't anything like it!

Keeping her hand in mine, she led the way over to the huge window with the screen doors. She stared out at the ocean. It was calmer than usual and looked as though there may have been another storm coming. It was dark out on the horizon and the clouds where gathering around the sky, but still brief moments of sun would appear.

I unlocked the screen door and stepped outside into the slight breezy wind with Angel still at my side. We both smiled with the feeling of the sun's rays upon our skin. We sat on the concrete of the veranda in the sun. Both our hands meet as we reached up for the sun to come closer to us. My eyes softened and closed as I smiled. Resting my forehead on hers and then looking back up to our hands again and entwining them together within the warm sunlight. It felt so nice, so right to have her hand within my own. It was just perfect.

We sat there for hours, talking, joking and playing around. The storm soon came and ruined my plans for the rest of the day, but they weren't really anything that we couldn't do tomorrow if it wasn't raining. We stayed on the veranda the whole time the rain came down. Just far enough under cover that we weren't getting wet.

We watched the lightning on the horizon, flashing brightly over the ocean. Sometimes, we even saw it hit the water. I loved watching the lightning snake through the sky and feel in the air after a lightning storm. The air was just always so fresh and crisp. It was nice.

On dark we went inside and that was when I found out that we didn't have any power connected to the house. Angel didn't care. She thought watching the light show outside was better than lights on inside and we still had a fire to keep us warm. We decided on having takeout for the night and shopping for food tomorrow when we had power to cook.

We went back to my father's place, getting a few things for both Angel and I for us to live in my grandfather's home. Of course, my father was glad to hear that after all these years the house was finally getting used and lived in. It had been sitting there doing nothing for almost twenty years.

Once we got our things, I drove into Forks and got our takeout from the diner and headed back to our new place. I lit the fire and kept the curtains open as we sat in front of the windows inside eating and watching the lightning flash over the ocean again. The rain and wind had stopped, but I got the feeling the silence wasn't going to last for long. It was the silence before the storm. And sure enough I was right.

Just as we finished eating, the rain came back, hitting the window so hard that neither of us could look outside. The wind hit the house just as hard. I was glad that my grandfather's place was built for this kind of weather otherwise it would have fallen down around us within the first few moments of the storm.

Before long, I had to pull the curtains to a close as the lightning was getting too wild and violent. The elders of the tribe believed that if the curtains were open, the lightning could easily strike inside. I didn't really believe it, but I didn't knock it either. I just didn't see what difference curtains would make to stopping the lightning hitting the house.

Seems there wasn't enough light upstairs to see to make the bed, both Angel and I curled up on the couch and fell asleep with blanket over us and the fire slowly dying as the night went on. For all the times I had fallen asleep on the couch, I hadn't slept well at all until that night with Angel. I thought it had been the best night sleep I had ever gotten. I thought and knew that it was to do with her.

It wasn't until ten o'clock in the morning we awoke. The house was still pitch black with the curtains were still pulled together. When I opened them, it revealed a dull day, but thankfully, it wasn't raining. It was unseasonably warm. Something I wasn't used to.

"Hey, why don't we check out the forests around here today?" I suggested, looking over to Angel eating breakfast on the floor in front of the fire. Thankfully my father let us take some food from his place last night when we went over there.

"I'd love to," she smiled sweetly and brightly.

I called up the electrician and made sure the power would be connected by tonight before we went grocery shopped and then headed out hiking through the forests around the house. I hadn't really ever taken much notice to the environment around the house before. I hadn't been in the forests around my grandfather's much either. None of us really needed to go so far and deep into the woodland before.

Together we both saw frogs and birds, neither of us had ever seen before and even a deer. Before long, we found a little meadow with a signal tree in the middle of it. Sitting together, we took a break from hiking and enjoyed the small little place of mystery we had found.

"So what do you want to do now?" I questioned, looking to her with my wrists resting against my knees as she sat beside me in the long glass.

"I want to keep looking around here. It's so pretty." I watched as she looked up from the grass to the forest and she seemed to freeze dead where she sat and how she was sitting. "Jacob," she whispered, without moving. Her tone was almost faint.

"What's wrong?"

Her hand lifted in front of her, pointing toward the forest. I looked up and smiled slightly with seeing a sandy wolf walking out of the forest slowly watching the two of us. "Angel, it's okay." I brushed the side of her face softly, making her look to me. "It's just my friend Seth," I said softly, standing to my feet and walking over to him.

"H-he's your friend?" she stuttered, looking like she was in shock.

"Yeah," I smiled, turning around to face her while speaking.

Seth barked softly, bounding around me with excitement in his eyes and barks. He bowed down before me, wagging his tail in the air, wanting to play like we used to together. I leaned down to his level, patting his head and whispering into his ear, "Go up to Angel. She's not too sure what to think." He tilted his head to the side, looking up to me. I nodded and watching as he walked up to her and nosed the side of her arm. Slowly, her hand rose to the side of his face. His eyes closed softly as she patted him. I could see Angel becoming at ease around Seth. I couldn't blame her for been a little wary. He was a huge wolf after all. But if she thought he was huge, she should see me. I smirked with that thought coming to mind. I would have to show her one day soon, while the others weren't around. I knew that she would want to one day. Well, I guessed she would anyway.

I sat down in the grass, smiling while watching both Seth and Angel played together. Angel was now roughing up Seth like he was her own dog. I couldn't help but smirk and laugh while watching them. Seth just knew how to bright up a person's life and make them laugh. I loved that about him. He was always carefree and wanting to play. He would do anything to make someone happy or smile.

After a while of Seth playing with Angel, he ran over to me and knocked me to the ground playfully while growling. "Alright Seth, came down!" I laughed. He barked at me as he stood back. His ears pricked with us both hearing a howling off in the distance. He sighed, rolling his eyes knowing that Sam wanted him back. He looked up to me, as if to be asking if he could stay, but I wasn't the one who called the shots anymore.

"Go. Sam wants you," I smiled, roughing him again before letting him go as he disappeared into the forest of trees and scrubs. I went back over to Angel's side, sitting back down beside her, still smiling.

"Seth's very playful, but gentle."

I nodded. "He'll do anything to make you smile."

"A little like you," she whispered, looking to me with a shy smile on her face.

I looked to her slightly shocked. I used to be like that, before my mum died. "Used to, you mean."

"No, you still do it. You try and make me smile all the time. Renesmee told me that you did it to her too."

I looked down to the grass around me and my ring on my finger. I didn't realize that. I didn't think that I tried to make people smile like I used to. I felt like since my mum had died, like I had lost the part of me that made me smile and the other people who were around me, but apparently, that wasn't true. I was still doing it without realizing.

She leaned into my side slightly, finding my hand and placing it into hers. "You make me smile all the time Jacob," she whispered.

I looked to her, slightly surprised and then realized what she was saying was true. I had noticed her smiling a lot lately, especially around me.

"You're just warm like the sun, but you lighten up the dark skies like the moon at midnight."

I smiled slightly, wrapping my arms around her. "It's funny, because, Renesmee used to think I was the sun."

"You're both," she whispered, her hand coving mine at the side of her neck. "For some you bring warmth and life like the sun, others you bring light and protection of the darkness like the moon."

I smiled again, this time staying silent. I guess she was right in many ways. I had brought warmth and life into Renesmee's life and she had done the same for me. And now I had brought light and protection into Angel's life.

I sighed, looking up to the sky. It was growing darker with each second that passed and I could sense a storm on the way. I hoped it was far off as we were far from home and I didn't think the cold rain would help Angel any.

Once we got home, it was almost dark. But thankfully we now had power throughout the house. I turned on the lights just as a crake of thunder sounded behind us. I could smell the sweet and fresh scent of rain in the wind. I loved the smell of the rain at night.

The next few days went by slowly. Everything looked like it was all normal in my life, until I wasn't around Angel. It was within those moments that she wasn't around that I was fearful and scared for us both. I didn't know what I was going to do or be without her. I didn't want to be hurt again, but I still wasn't going to leave her. I couldn't and wouldn't!

I could see that each day that passed, slowly life slipped out of her. I could see that unlike the last time Carlisle had told Angel she only had a year left and she lived on for another three years . . . he wasn't wrong this time. At times, even when being around her, I would go into deep thought, so deep that I didn't even hear what people were saying to me. I just hoped that Angel didn't notice. I didn't want to worry her.

The rain and storms kept up, but it didn't stop either I or Angel from enjoying each other's company. We went hiking again the next day and found a huge water fall that I didn't even know existed in La Push. I was really enjoying my time with Angel. It felt nice and right for us to be together and having fun while we still could together.

It was when the end of the week came that I become obviously distant to everyone. It was the particular date that was affecting me. It had been three years since I'd lost Renesmee. I had gotten up early that morning, unable to sleep at all throughout the night. I walked down to the beach and sat on the huge rocks overlooking the ocean and watching the sunrise come and go. I just wanted to be alone that whole day. I didn't really care about anything else within that day. I was deep in thought the whole day, but my mind was blank at the same time. I was even numb.

The wind blew past me harshly, pulling my shirt into all different directions as I sat still with my wrists resting on top of my knees. I was staring at the ocean with blind eyes for hours, but at that point it felt like time didn't exist to me. Nothing really felt like it existed anymore to me. Not today at least. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and resting my forehead on top of my hands. I couldn't go through the pain of losing someone I loved again. I just couldn't. . . I didn't know what to do, or what I could do.

"Hey Jake!" I heard a familiar voice shout from on the beach. I looked up and over my shoulder, seeing Embry walking up to me. He was the last person I needed and wanted to see. I couldn't keep secrets from my best friend.

I didn't move. I acted as if I hadn't seen him or heard him speak. After a while he was standing on the rock with me. "Jacob, did you hear me?"

I looked up to him, answering with my eyes. Wasn't it obvious that I had and just wanted to be left alone? I thought it was.

"What's with you lately?" he said in a harsher tone.

"Nothing," I mutter, getting up and going over the edge of the rock and sat back down on it again.

"Really? Cause I see different."

I turned around and looked to him with darkened eyes. "And what do you see Embry?" I growled. I didn't know why, but I just wanted to get him out of my hair and for him to leave me alone. The only way I knew that I could do that was to piss him off enough to leave.

"I'm looking at you Jacob and it's like you're not even there! You're not yourself anymore! I know things have been hard on you, but you need to get over it. You've got Angel now! You can't past, no matter how much you try!" he growled. That stung. He knew what a love of an imprint was like. He knew all the feelings of having an imprint as Kim was his imprint. He loved her like I loved Renesmee.

I didn't answer him. I just stared back out to the ocean, hoping he would leave, but I should have known better. He sat down beside me, staying silent for a moment. "Just tell me what is going on Jacob." His voice was calm and cool now, but something just snapped in me.

"Angel's dying! Is that what you wanted to hear Emb! Just leave me alone, please." My tone started out harsh and ended soft. The pain of my own words had struck me. Reality had fully struck me now. She had days left, not even a week if Carlisle was right on with things.

He stared at me with shocked eyes, staying for another moment before disappearing all together without a word. Maybe he understood now. I just needed some space, some time alone to figure things out for myself. I sighed deeply, fighting back my emotions, but it wasn't long before they took over me. My father had always said that men don't cry over anything. But I wasn't him.

I stared up at the cloud covered sun at around what I thought was noon. I could hear sounds in the house behind me and then felt eyes on me. I knew it was Angel. I knew she was watching me, but I stayed on the rocks, still thinking. I still just wanted to be alone. I played with Renesmee's ring on my ring finger. Turning it over and over with my thumb, thinking about our past together, the fun we had and the things we did. We were perfect for each other. We were so much alike and so in-love with each other. If I could have, I would have done things over again. I would have made it so that she lived on. She had more to live for than me. She was stronger than me too. She would have taken things better than I had. That was for sure.

The day went on slowly, too slowly for my liking. It was around five o'clock before I even budged off of that rock and went back home. But even when I did go back home, I still wanted to be back on that rock alone. But I had to get on with things.

Angel greeted me back warmly. She had been worried sick about me, but knew that I just wanted time alone. I was grateful that she understood me and the things I needed and wanted. I was surprised by the fact that she knew me better than my own best friend, but then again, Embry was only trying to help. I couldn't blame him if he never wanted to speak to me again after the way I had treated him. I could see that he just wanted to help me, but I didn't need help. I needed time.

It was just on dark, I we were both sitting on the veranda and staring out to the horizon. "You know Jacob, I've always wondered what you would look like in your wolf form," she said quietly without looking at me. I looked to her with hearing her words. She looked to me to me then, with feeling my gaze upon her. "What colour is your coat?"

"Russet," I answered.

"Your eyes?"

"Similar to what they are now."

"Can I see?"

I smiled crookedly and softly. "Of course you can." I stood up and went to the side of the house where she wouldn't see me undressing. I phased quickly, thinking and questioning if any of the others were around. It didn't seem to be that they were. I guessed they were all having dinner. Slowly I walked back around to where Angel was sitting on the veranda. Her eyes went wide with seeing me. I stood back from her, not wanting to scare her and I couldn't blame her if she was.

A smile appeared on her face and her eyes brighten. "You're huge Jacob and I thought Seth was big."

I couldn't help but laugh when she said that. I took another cautious step toward her. She stood up and placed her hand on the side of my face, kissing my forehead softly as she leaned closer to me. Her hand ran softly through my coat over my chest. Her arms wrapped around my neck, holding me tightly. "Your amazing Jacob!" she whispered softly into my neck. My paw rested on her back softly, resting my head against hers.

"I love you. Phase back please?" I stepped back from me slightly. I looked to the ground and then to my clothes sitting next to the side of the house, visible from where we stood together. She giggled slightly; running her hand down the side of my face and making me look to her. "Don't worry," she whispered. "I love you."

I phased back quickly, looking up to her as I knelt down on my knee, looking up to her. "I love you too Angel," I said softly before standing. Her arms wrapped around my neck tightly holding me closely the instant I stood up. Her lips brushed against mine in a heated and passionate kiss I hadn't ever felt before. I could feel her every emotion in her touch, her love, her kiss. There was fear, passion, desire and love. I felt it all.

My hands ran down the side of her face, leaning back away from her for a moment but my lips still slightly touching hers. "Don't be scared. I'm here. I always will be here for you. I love you." She nodded with a tear coming down the side of her face. I wiped it away and kissed her again. "It's okay. Don't be scared."

Her hand ran up the side of my neck, running through my hair while kissing me again. I could feel her fear running out of her body with each kiss I gave her back. I was here to protect her and give her everything I felt for her and had.

She leaned away from me for a moment. "You've showed me everything that I didn't know Jacob. You've gave me the things I hadn't ever felt before in my life. Love, passion, and the feeling of been protected from everything I'm scared of. Now . . . I want you to show me desire."

I stared her in the eye, searching through her eyes for the truth behind her words. My index finger softly ran from the side of her jaw and over her lower lip. "You're sure?" I whispered huskily and almost silent before brushing my lips over hers again.

"Yes," she nodded with closed eyes before looking up to me and kissing me back with a shaky breath.

* * *

I awoke in our bed around five hours after we had fallen asleep together. I looked down to Angel peacefully sleeping against my chest, a slight smile on her lips as I watched her. Something had woken me, but I didn't know what. Suddenly my phone vibrated on the bed side table, telling me I had a text. I flipped it open before it woke her.

_We found him Jacob. _

_Sam _

It read. I knew who Sam was speaking of. I had told him to tell me when they next saw Tyron. I took a deep and silent breath, looking out the window to see the rain falling heavily outside. Carefully, I slipped out of bed without waking Angel. I had to go out and help them. This was it.

I pulled on my jeans, writing out a note for Angel and placed it on the side of the bed table for her to see. I looked her over from the doorway before running out into the rain. I ran quickly again the shoreline of the beach. The icy cold rain – almost snow – fell upon my skin, soaking me from head to toe, to the bone. Good. I needed to be ice cold. Droplets of both sweat and rain ran slowly down my back, face and stomach as I ran. I could see my own breath in the air as I ran faster than I had ever before in my human form. I was cold to the bone until I phased into my wolf form. I could hear the pack not far off from where I stood on the edge of the beach. I took another deep breath and took off running again.

The rain was heavy upon my back. It made things hard to see. I caught up with the pack on the borderline of Forks and La Push. I could see Tyron jumping from side to side of the borderline, over a river, making it hard for us to get to him easily. He glared at me with narrow eyes when he caught slight of me. I growled at him back. He didn't know who he had been messing with!

_Nice to have you back Jacob_, Sam thought.

_Wish it was on better means_, I thought back.

_It will be._

Embry was staying silent, focusing on the job at hand and nothing else. I wanted to say sorry to him for how I had acted earlier, but I had to focus for now. It could wait. It had to.

_Where are the others?_ I questioned.

_Out or asleep_, Sam answered while running faster.

I watched carefully as Tyron tried to put us off of his pattern of jumping from side to side. I jumped over the side of the small river and onto his side, stopping him from getting away from us so easily. He eyed me carefully as he ran, but kept up with his jumping. He was faster than the usual vampires we found in the past.

I growled, getting quickly annoyed with his games with us. I leaped at him as he jumped onto the other side of the river where Sam and Embry were running. The second my paws touched him in mid-air, I also felt his fangs sink deeply into my shoulder. I yelped loudly in pain of his venom running through my veins quickly. Just before I phased back, Sam ripped him from my shoulders and took care of him.

"Jake!" I heard Embry's voice shouting loudly over and over again. "Jacob?"

I couldn't answer for the pain going through me. The fire, it strung as it went through my veins with each beat of my heart. It felt like a million knives were cutting into my veins with each millisecond that went by.

My hand gripped the top of my shoulder tightly, trying to do anything that would stop the pain and fire going through me. I couldn't stand it anymore! It hurt more than anything I had ever felt before. I didn't know when it would stop, but I knew that it wouldn't leave me alive without some miracle.

I could hear Embry telling me wake up, to move, to do anything. I thought I was moving. I thought I was on my side, gripping my shoulder and grimacing. I then heard Sam's voice. I smell the scent of blood, my blood. He had bitten me deeply. I could feel that much.

Suddenly, my vision was going cloudy and the flame was going. I didn't understand what was happening. But, it didn't feel right for the venom to be leaving my system. Vampires had a lethal bite on werewolves.

My emotions changed suddenly. I wasn't scared anymore. Because I knew what was happening and what would happen. My and Angel's lives would be altered greatly now. Things wouldn't ever be the same for the two of us ever again. Especially Angel's life. I knew what I was in her life to do now. What I had been in her life to do, and I had done it all, but one thing.

"Embry," I said almost silently with weakness to speak of breath. "Look after Angel for me. And I'm sorry for how I had acted earlier."


	6. Fire & Ice Love & Venom

A familiar warm touch swept over the side of my face. I leaned into the loving touch before opening my eyes and seeing her sitting there beside me. "Ness," I whispered, almost silently with lack of breath. She took my hand into hers and pressed my hand against her cheek just like she used to. My hand against her cheek felt like ice touching fire. She was so warm and I was the ice, for once. Everything about her made me feel relaxed and fearless as she stayed at my side.

"It's okay, I'm here Jacob," she whispered after a while, her hand ran down along my face. Her hand took mine again, gripping it within her own softly. I felt so cold, and yet, it didn't worry me. Why was that?

My thumb brushed over her hand gently as she leaned down beside me, holding me close to her. I was starting to think that this was all a dream. At times, I had wished it was. I could remember when I was at her side, holding her hand and hoping to God that she was going to be okay . . . but deep down, I had known the whole time that she wasn't going to be. I had known, I was just denying it the whole time and just kept up the hope.

I could hear each and every word of Embry's. I tried to speech, but I was just too weak. I couldn't speak. It was just too hard with the weight I could feel upon my chest. I wished I could have spoken though. There was so much I wanted to say to him. There was just so much to say, too much to say within the so little time that was left, and yet, I couldn't say or do a thing. It was so frustrating and unfair.

**Embry's POV**

"Jacob, don't talk like that. You're going to be fine, I meant it!" I half smiled, trying to make myself believed it too. I didn't know what I could for my best friend. I didn't know what there was to do for him.

I looked up to Sam, quickly checking over Jacob's vitals. "Keep your hand on the side of his shoulder Embry," he said quickly. "I'm trying to slow down the venom. If you keep your hand there, it's less likely that it can travel as quickly."

"How do you figure that?"

"It's the main vein to his heart. It's like a snake bite, the only difference is with us, our blood can take neutralise the venom after a while and heal us."

"You mean. . ." I trailed off, not wanting to get my hopes up and at the same time, not wanting to give up. I couldn't give up. I couldn't lose hope. Not now.

"Maybe, I don't know. Give me your phone. We need to get him to Carlisle. He's the only one who can help him now."

I took out my phone from the back pocket of my jeans and handed it to Sam as quickly as I could while my hands stayed shaking with both fear and anger. I didn't really like the idea of having to trust someone with our secret in a public hospital, but I knew that Sam wouldn't be doing such a thing if he didn't trust Carlisle or fully believe that Jacob needed his help and could be helped. I wondered if a human doctor would even know enough about us to help us with something like this.

I could hear Sam talking to Carlisle quickly off in the distance. The rain kept falling down on us. I could see my breath in the air before my eyes. As I kept an eye on Jacob's pulse, I noticed shakes going through his body. He was cold. I guess Jacob had stopped phasing long enough to make his body go back to its normal temperature. That worried me greatly.

Sam came back just after a moment. "He's going to meet us in the ER."

I nodded and looked down to Jacob again. "Sam, he's cold as ice."

"I'll get a blanket from the house. Starting walking. I'll catch up." Within the second Sam finished speaking; he took off running towards his house at full speed. I hadn't ever seen him ran so quickly before.

Carefully, I brought Jacob to his feet, making sure he was leaning against me with his good arm around my neck as we started to slowly walk. Even know he wasn't saying a thing, I knew Jacob was listening to everything that was been said. He kept almost silently murmuring how he needed to be and wanted to be cold. It confused me. Why would he want to be cold? Jacob had always hated the cold. I had found it ironic when he became a werewolf and had to get used to our constant body heat.

I kept him close to me while walking, just trying to keep him warm. I smiled slightly, thinking and knowing that he was listening. I knew that if Jacob was himself right now, he would be cracking jokes, saying how stupid it was of him to have done what he had and that how he was now relying on a miracle to live. He was always one to take things lightly or to heart. He always made fun of himself and the stupid things he would say and do.

I grip his hand as we kept on walking, in wonder if he had felt my grip. He responded slightly, with slightly gripping my hand back. I wondered if talking to him would help any. I didn't think I would do any harm. At least he would know that I hadn't given up on him. "Hey, Jake, do you remember the time, when we were kids, we got into my father's liquor cabinet, and we drank half of the expensive six pack each? How he reacted when he found us both and we took off running home to your mum because he had a soft spot for her? You nearly wet your pants that day man. You were totally scared," I laughed and smiled while thinking back. I looked down to him, wondering if he had been paying any attention to the things I had said. A slight smile came upon his lips.

"Two drunk, idiot, kids," he whispered with slight humour while a smile turned into a smirk. I smirked back down at him and looked to the sky for a moment. The rain kept falling. It had lightened off to what it had been, but still, it was ice cold.

"Or . . . how about the time a few of years back, when we were going camping and I brought Kim with me, without saying anything to you or her parents. You totally knew what I was up to that night and did everything possible to ruin it for me, and did, successfully, might I add?"

He laughed slightly, shaking his head and slowly took a step as we kept walking through the rainy night toward Forks. I couldn't wait to get him into the right care. At least, I hoped he would be in the right care.

"And then her parents found out, as well as Paul and then came the vet jokes," he laughed weakly. "And, yet, you didn't know a thing about what I had been planning the whole time too," he said in a smug snicker. I looked to him in question and wonder of what he meant. Even know his eyes were still closed, he knew that I was questioning him and continued after a while. "I had I brought Ness too," he smirked.

My jaw dropped in shock of his confession. I hadn't even known that Renesmee had been there at all. "Damn it you dirty dog. Why did you keep that from me for so long?" I asked with playfulness in my tone.

"Because, you would only go ratting us out and then Edward would hunt me down with scissors in hand."

I could just imagine that happening too. Edward was so protective over his daughter and the things she got into and did, but I knew that Jacob wouldn't have done anything wrong by her. He had been just as protective over Renesmee as her father was, if not even more so. He had loved her with all his life. It was a sad day when we all lost her. She had brought life to both Forks and La Push and especially to Jacob's life. I didn't know where he would be today if he hadn't found her. He was in a bad way after his mother died. She had been a huge part of his life for so long and then to just not have her there suddenly would have hurt like all hell. I didn't think Jacob would have made it past nineteen if he hadn't found Renesmee when he did.

"Yeah true," I grinned with humour coating my voice. "We got to have more fun times like that Jacob."

I looked over my shoulder with hearing Sam now running up from behind us. He quickly wrapped the thick black blanket he had in hand around Jacob's shaking frame and picked up the pace slightly as we walked. I hadn't noticed that we were already on the borderline of La Push and Forks. I knew the hospital was only a couple of minutes of walking away. I was thankful for that much.

The second we got to the sliding-automatic doors and stepped inside, Carlisle and a familiar nurse was there waiting for us with a bed. I was slightly surprised that they were already. I guessed with Sam calling in earlier paid off.

A nurse quickly went to work on Jacob's vitals in the Emergency room, but Carlisle only had to look Jacob over and he could see what the second main problem was. "He's got hypothermia," he said quickly and breathlessly from running. He looked to the nurse beside him and told her quickly to get some more blankets other than the ones that were already wrapping tightly around Jacob. Jacob shook his head with hearing those words, once again saying that he wanted to be cold. I didn't understand it. Carlisle seemed to ignore what he had said altogether.

The nurse come running back with what looked like a billion blankets in hand as well as what I thought looked like a heating pad or electric blanket. She handed some of them to Carlisle. She looked over to Sam and I and quickly but quietly spoke to us. "What happened to him?"

I looked to Sam, not sure what to say. Carlisle knew the truth, but we couldn't tell her too. Thankfully Carlisle saved us. "Acid attack," he said quickly. I really thought that it was an over the top excuse, but come to think of it, vampire venom did act in a similar way.

"We got to get his blood clean again," he said to her quickly, looking to her. She ran out of the room again quickly. I wondered what she was going to get. I looked back to Sam and then to Carlisle. "How are you going to do that?" I asked.

"Our blood purifies itself Carlisle, but it's usually too late by the time it's done," Sam added evenly, with authority within his eyes while speaking too. He was just too calm for my liking. Like he didn't even care about Jacob! My hands clenched into fists. I was annoyed with how careless Sam was acting. He didn't give a damn!

"I know Sam. But with enough fluid and medication it should fix it quicker. "

I stared down at the ground, my jaw clenched as the nurse came back, with a billion things within her hands. I didn't look up to her. I only glanced at her from the corner of my eye in wonder. I was trying to keep calm, but it was getting harder and harder with seeing the moderator of Jacob's heart, staring to slow down and his breath quickening. I closed my eyes, fighting back the shaking of my hands at my sides. I was no longer taking any notice to the things that were going on around me. I was too caught up within my own anger that Sam was causing me.

"Do you mind stepping out, Embry, Sam?" Carlisle said suddenly, breaking me slightly of my dazed state but not taking any notice to anything. I just stood there.

"C'mon," Sam said, touching my wrist and breaking my state completely. I growled slightly, eyeing him and left the room quicker than he did. I leaned against the wall of the hospital with my arms crossed over my chest tightly, staring at the ground. He didn't care for Jacob that was obvious! His voice and just how he was acting towards Jacob told me that he didn't give a damn.

I could hear him walking up to me quickly. He could tell there was something annoying me. He strode up to me and pitched the side of my arm to get my attention. I looked up to him with black eyes.

"What's your problem Embry?" he demanded quietly, grabbing the side of my shoulder. I rolled my eyes at the almighty Alpha. Jacob was the rightful Alpha and a by far better one at that!

"Like you don't know? You don't even give a damn about Jacob!" I ripped my arm from his grasp and growled again, turning my back on him. My whole body was shaking by then. I felt him grab my arm again. I turned slightly towards him and growled while staring down at his hand.

"Calm down," he ordered in the Alpha tone. "Go outside, calm down and call Rachel, Billy, Bella and Angel, and don't come back until you do!"

"If you think that I am going to be the one to give bad news, guess again Sam. You're the Alpha! You do it! I'm no longer within your pack." I turned my back on him, walking down the hall and outside. I stood at the entrance, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down.

After calming down slightly, I started searching through my contacts on my phone while sitting on the chair outside and thinking deeply at the same time. I couldn't tell Billy what was happening or Bella, or even Angel. I remembered what Jacob had said to me a couple of days ago about Angel dying. I wondered what was wrong with her. I couldn't tell her. I just, couldn't.

As I got to the contact page of my girlfriend Kim, I stared down at the picture of her, looking at it like I hadn't ever looked at her or any of her photos before. She was beautiful. I suddenly realized how lucky I was to have her. Her bright blue eyes and thick blond hair . . . she was perfect in my eyes.

I pressed dial and placed my phone to my ear. I knew I would have been waking her up, but I needed her with me right now. She was the only one who understood me apart from Jacob.

"_Embry, what's going on?"_ she asked calmly with sleep coating her voice.

"I need you to come to the Forks hospital, its Jacob. He's had an accident with a vampire," I said quickly with my eyes closed, trying not to worry her.

"_Oh my god, is he okay? What happened? Are you okay?"_

"Yeah, I am fine. Don't worry. I'll explain everything when you get here, okay?"

"_Of course. I'll be there soon."_

"Kim?"

"_Yes Embry?"_

"I love you. Take your time driving."

"_I love you too, and you know I drive like grandma." _

I smiled slightly with hearing her voice before hanging up. I loved her so much, I didn't know what I would do if anything happened to her. I didn't know how Jacob had stood losing Renesmee. I was so sure that he would have done something stupid after losing her and running off. But, I guess he had grown up a lot since he had first met her. I knew when the times got tough, Jacob always ran off, as he wasn't able to handle anything hard after his mother died, and yet the whole time Renesmee was sick, he stayed with her, until she told him to leave. I knew he regretted leaving her that night. I knew he still hadn't to this day forgiven himself for leaving her.

I took a deep breath before ringing Rachel. I didn't say a thing towards what had happened. I just told her to meet me at the hospital. I knew she would really freak out if she knew about what had happened. She loved Jacob more like a mother than anything else. He and she had always been very close. I didn't think that brother and sister could be so close really.

I stayed outside a while longer, trying to get and keep calm. I sat back down on the chair outside, taking deep breaths. I suddenly saw a couple heading towards the entrance of the hospital. The woman was pregnant and looked like she was going into labour. The man eyed me carefully. I could sense that he was protective of her and his unborn child. I couldn't blame him and I also couldn't help but think that it should have been Jacob and Renesmee. That was how things should have gone for them . . . like they had planned to happen one day after their wedding. Jacob had told me long ago when he gave Renesmee a promise wrist band all of their plans for the future. He had been so excited.

Taking another deep breath, I slowly walked back into the hospital. Sam passed me on my way in. I stopped and eyed him as he kept on walking without looking back to me. It was most likely a good thing that he was leaving with the way it looked. I didn't want him around anyway!

I headed towards where Jacob's room was. I saw Carlisle stepping out of his room and closed the door behind him with his notes in hand. The curtains were open in his room so they could moderator him better. I looked to Carlisle as he looked up at me. "Embry, do you know why Jacob keeps requesting his license and to be cold?" he questioned.

I shook my head before answering him. "No, but he hasn't asked for his license around me though."

He suddenly looked to the ground, his face turning slightly crunched with thought and then nodded. "He did just then. That's where Sam's gone. I don't get it," he murmured and walked over towards the front office. I wondered if it was from having the hyperthermia and he was delusional.

I looked in on Jacob. He was asleep by the look of it, but peacefully. He was still breathing hard and even grimacing in his sleep. Carlisle had that many IVs connected to him it wasn't funny, but at least he knew enough about us to be able to help and know what would help.

I sighed, crossing the room and leaned up against the wall. I looked up to him every now and then. I just hoped he pulled through. Jacob was more like a brother to me then a best friend and I was sure that the feeling was mutual.

With hearing footsteps coming down the hall, I looked up and saw Kim. I ran to her side and hugged her tightly before explaining to her everything that had happened. She hated seeing Jacob in this state just as much as I did. She and Renesmee had always been very close to one and other. I held her close to me as we stood in the hallway together.

With something suddenly catching my attention, I looked up and saw both Sam and Rachel walking toward us. Sam looked deep in concentration as Rachel walked beside him until she looked up and saw me. She ran to my side, tears falling down the side of her face. I guessed Sam had already filled her in on what had happened. I sighed as both I and Kim hugged her tightly, trying to comfort her the best we could. She and Jacob were closer than just brother and sister. Their relationship wasn't anything I had ever seen before.

My eyes flashed up to Jacob's room suddenly with hearing a loud and long screeching of a moderator and then seeing Carlisle run into his room with nurses following him too. Rachel looked up, realizing what was happening and fought against my grip around her wrist until she gave up and came back into my body, crying like I hadn't ever seen her cry before. She was even crying more now than I had seen her when her mother died when she was little.

I shook my head, hoping for the best, but deep down, I knew . . . there wasn't anything left to hope for. "Jacob. . ." I murmured, not believing how things had changed so much over such a short amount of time. I wanted to run in there and tell him to wake his lazy ass up! I just wanted my brother, my best friend.


	7. A New Life

**Angel's POV**

I awoke in the morning to the sound of my phone telling me it had a message on it. With my eyes still half closed, I leaned over the side of the bed and picked it up, opening it and placing it to my ear to hear the message. My eyes sprung open at the words of Carlisle message to me. I couldn't believe it. I truly couldn't. They had actually found a heart for me!

The second the message finished, I looked back over my shoulder in excitement to tell Jacob, but he wasn't there. I wondered where he had gone to and how long he had been gone for. My hand skimmed over his side of our bed and it was cold. He had obviously been gone for a while now. I sighed, wishing I knew where he was. He usually left me a note or something telling me where he was going and when he would be back, but I didn't see a thing.

I quickly got up and started to pack my things to go to the hospital. I couldn't believe how things were finally starting to look up for me. I was getting a second chance at life when I only had a few weeks, if not days left. It seemed to be since Jacob had come into my life, everything was better. He truly was the full moon in the middle of a midnight dark night.

When I had finished packing, Jacob still hadn't come back, so I picked my phone up and called Embry's number. I wanted to know where Jacob was so I could tell him the good news and I knew he would more than likely be with Embry or one of the others. He was either always with them, or with me or his family. I smiled at knowing just how much he cared for each and every one in his life. I hadn't ever met anyone like him before.

"_Hello?"_ Embry answered in a low tone, which seemed really out of place for him. He was always smiling and playful like Jacob. He always had an enthusiastic tone to his voice. I felt like something wasn't quite right.

"Hey Embry, its Angel, I was just wondering if Jacob was there with you?" The line stayed quiet for a moment before he answered, which made me wonder.

"_Ah, yeah he's here." _The tone of his voice was off and half-hearted. My eyes narrowed slightly with wonder and worry at the same time.

"Is he okay?"

"_He's fine Angel."_

"Can you get him to call me, as soon as he can?"

"_Sure. Are you okay?"_ Embry's tone once again had changed. I felt like he knew something was going on and I felt like there was something going on with Jacob. I was a little worried about him.

I nodded into my phone and answered Embry's question. "Yes I'm fine. I just needed to tell Jacob something, that's all. See ya Embry."

"_Oh, okay. Bye Angel."_

I bit my lip, wishing I knew how to get in contact with Jacob as quickly as I could. I had to leave within the next five minutes. An idea came to my mind and I looked around the room for his phone. It seemed to be that he had taken it with him this time. He normally left it behind. I rang his number, but no one answered. I sighed in the middle of our bed and wrote him out a text message.

_Jacob,_

_They've found a new heart for me. _

_Meet me at the hospital please or call me back as soon as you get this._

_Love you, Angel x_

The second I pressed send, an odd thought came to my mind. I had been told years ago when I was little and first started to see people who had passed on, that what I could do was a gift of the heart. I wondered if once I had my new heart, if I still would have my gift. I really hoped I did. I enjoyed helping people with the people they had lost and giving them messages from loved ones. I smiled at the thought and stood to my feet, picked up my bags and ran downstairs and out of the house. I walked up to the La Push bus stop and waited for the bus. Thankfully it only took a couple of minutes and it was there for me.

Once on the bus on the way for Forks hospital, I couldn't help but feel like someone familiar was sitting beside me with their arms wrapped around me. I looked around myself, but couldn't see anyone. I knew that if I wasn't in such a rush to get to the hospital I would have in fact saw whoever it was that was holding me. I tried to calm myself down, but it wasn't working. As the bus stopped at the hospital, the whole short walk to the automatic doors, I still felt like there was someone with me. I wished I could have known who it was, but I was just too tense to calm down enough to know and see them.

I waited in the waiting room until I saw Carlisle saying my name. He quickly looked me over and made sure I was ready for surgery. I wanted Jacob to be there with me, but obviously he was busy or he would have been. The whole time I thought of what he must have been doing. He had to have been with the pack or he would have come right away. I knew he would.

As I stared up at the IV while lying in bed, I could feel the gas working on me. My eyes got so heavy I could no longer keep them open. It was only when I heard Embry's voice suddenly, that I wanted to open them. I wanted to know how he had known where I was and why Jacob wasn't with him. But then, I felt a warm familiar touch around my hand. I smiled to myself, knowing it was him there beside me. I didn't need to hear his voice to know that he was there for me, at my side like I knew he always would be.

I knew I was dreaming when I woke up on the beach in front of our little house in La Push. It was an overcast day and there were storms on the horizon with lightning flashing within the blackened clouds. The wind swept around me, lifting my hair from lying on the sand as I stared up at the sky. I sat up and looked around me, after a moment, I spotted him. I smiled with seeing Jacob sitting on the shoreline with his arms wrapped around his knees while staring out at the waves and the storm on the horizon.

I stood up and walked down to his side and sat beside him. He detected my presence and looked up to me with a smile.

"Hey," he whispered huskily.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked softly, leaning into his shoulder as his arms wrapped around me tightly. I smiled at the warmth of his arms around my waist, keeping me warm from the cool wind sweeping around us. It was peaceful with just the sound of the waves crashing and the wind blowing. All the scents of the sea were around us. I took in a deep breath as my eyes closed for a moment. I loved this place. I was so glad that Jacob had showed me around this little piece of magic and mystery.

"Just, thinking," he smiled down upon me and kissed my forehead.

"Thinking about what?" I asked and wrapped my arm around his neck as my head rested in his lap while staring up to his beautiful face. His eyes were such deep russet chocolate and his skin was such a warm colour. His cropped black hair moved slightly in the wind. I felt so safe and protected when I was around him. It was like no one could ever touch me while ever I was with him.

"Just about us and how lucky I am to have found you," he smiled again, running his hand down the side of my face while he spoke. I smiled back up at him and leaned into his touch. I knew just what he meant. I felt so lucky to have found him too. I really didn't know what I would have done if I hadn't found Jacob when I had. I knew Tyron would have come looking for me and did. I didn't even want to think what would have happened that night if Jacob hadn't stayed. I was really grateful for the fact that he had stayed with me that night. I probably wouldn't be here now if he hadn't stayed.

I tilted my face into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist as he held me slightly tighter. "I love you Jacob," I murmured into the fabric of his black shirt. His hand ran down the side of my face again and kissed the top of my head. "I love you too Angel," he whispered back. "I always will. Even, if you can't see me."

I looked up to him, slightly confused by what he had said and then he was suddenly gone. I looked around me and couldn't see him anywhere. I wondered where he had gone and why he had gone so quickly and abruptly.

_**A Week Later**_

My eyes fluttered open slowly. My gaze was blurry and fuzzy. I couldn't make a thing out in the room or where my gaze landed. All I could feel was pain over the left side of my chest from the operation and a warmth around my hand, which wasn't familiar. All I could hear was the steady beeps of machines around me.

The back of my hand ran over my eyes, clearing them a little so I could see better with clearer eyes. I then saw Embry sitting in the chair beside my bed, holding my hand. My thoughts instant went to Jacob as Embry looked down to me from staring up at the ceiling. He didn't say anything, but I saw a slight smile come to his face.

"W-w-where's-" I cut myself off from speaking. My throat hurt with dryness and the feeling of sand paper in my throat. I couldn't speak. Embry leaned over to the table beside my bed and handed me a cup of icy cold water. I took it and had a sip from it, letting it go down slowly before drinking the rest. I handed the cup back to him and tempted to speak again. "Where's Jacob?" I asked, still a little crockery. He stayed silent. I could see concentration and deep thought come over Embry's face.

"Embry?" I asked again when he still hadn't answered me after what felt like hours. I wanted to know where Jacob was. I needed to know where he was and why he wasn't with me. I knew something was wrong when he wasn't with me now. I could just feel it. There really was something wrong. I wondered just how long he hadn't been with me for.

"How long have I been out for?" I questioned.

"A week," he answered lowly.

I looked deep within his eyes, searching for the truth of where Jacob was that I sneaked so badly. I saw the looked of pain suddenly show in Embry's eyes and I knew then. He had hidden it so well, but it finally came out to me. I looked down to the white blankets of the bed. My hand ran through my hair as I took in a deep and shaky breath. I didn't know if I still wanted to know where Jacob was and what had happened for Embry to know where I was. I had sent the text message to Jacob and Jacob only. He and only he should have known where I was and what was happening. I shook my head. I needed answers and with the way it looked, it was Embry who could only answer them.

"Why are you here Embry?" I questioned first without looking at him. With my eyes closed, I could feel the threat of tears overflowing my eyes. I heard him to take a deep and let it out slowly.

"Jacob told me to look after you," he murmured with pain. A shiver went through my body with those words been said. Where was he that he couldn't look after me instead? I thought I knew the answer, but I denied it. I didn't want to accept guesses.

I took in a deep and shaky breath once more. "And where is he that he can't be looking after me himself?" I questioned with a cracked voice. A tear got the best of me and overflowed down my cheek and to my chin. I heard Embry get up without saying a word. My tear filled eyes opened and looked up to him, seeing him standing over top of me. He leaned down and softly ran the back of his hand over the area of bandages on my left side of my chest, just over my new heart. I looked up to him in shock of what he was saying silently. It couldn't be true! It couldn't be! It just couldn't be!

"What happened?" I sobbed. The tears flowed down my cheeks freely down as I felt him sit on the side of the bed, stroking the back of my hand softly, trying to comfort me. It was only when I felt another familiar presence on my other side, wrap their arms around me, did I feel any better. I knew who it was now. I knew it was Jacob holding me within his arms. I could just feel him there with me. I now knew that it had been him the whole time I was riding the bus to the hospital and holding my hand while I drifted off into the deep sleep. His words from my dream all made sense now. I didn't need any supernatural gifts to know he was there with me within that moment. I could feel him beside me. I could feel his hand wrapped around mine. I could smell his musky woods scent that always made me feel safe and protected. I knew he was here.

"He had an accident with a vampire, it bit him. Vampire bites are lethal to us," Embry murmured softly. I shook my head. I didn't want to hear anymore. I just hoped that it wasn't Tyron who had done this to him, but I got a strong feeling that it was. I couldn't believe he was actually gone. Just when things were looking up for me, all because he had brought life back to me, he left just as quickly as he had come in and yet, I felt like he had been with me from the second I had been born. I wasn't ever going to let go of him. He had done so much for me within the short amount of time we had known each other. I loved Jacob and I always would and I was going to remain forever his.

I lay back down against the mattress of the bed and pulled the sheets over me while I quietly cried myself to sleep again. I didn't want to think that he was gone. I wanted it to all be a dream. I wanted it all to be okay and have my life back to the way it was with Jacob in it. But then, I realized, if that had happened, I would have only ended up hurting him in the end and I knew he wouldn't be able to handle that again. I knew enough about Jacob, that he had had enough of losing people in his life that meant world to him. I guessed he had that planned the whole time and that was why he hadn't left me when he knew what was going to become of me if I didn't find a heart. And I knew, it wasn't likely for a rare blood type such as his and mine would come up at the last minute and yet I did, thanks to Jacob. He had saved my life.

Another three weeks passed and I was able to go home, but home didn't feel like home anymore without Jacob. The very minute Embry left me to myself I went upstairs and lay down in _our_ bed, on Jacob's side. I missed his tight, warm hugs, his warm husky voice and smooth, passionate and sweet kisses. I missed everything about him. Every night since I had learned what had happened, I cried myself to sleep and dreamt of him. I knew it wasn't healthy to miss someone so much, but in the time, I felt like it was what was healthy for me. I just missed him so much.

Every day I would wake up to Embry sitting beside my bed in the hospital. I thought after a few more days of him doing so, that he would have gotten sick of trying to stay true to Jacob's wishes of him looking after me, but he never did. Every day he was there for me. Every day he checked up on me and helped me with everything I needed done. I was so grateful for having Embry there to help me with the things Jacob used to do.

I sighed, sitting up in our bed and ran my hand over where he had slept. It all still just felt like a really bad dream that I hadn't woken up from yet. I wished that I would, I wished I would wake up soon, but I knew I couldn't and never would. I crawled over to my side of the bed and stood to my feet. As my feet hit the ground below our bed, I felt something under my foot. I looked down and saw a white piece of paper turned over. I picked it up and felt tears run down the side of my face as I read it.

_**My heart always did belong to you, but my spirit and soul has always belonged to Renesmee. **_

_**I love you, my Angel. Look after my heart. It's yours forever.**_

_**Jacob xoxo**_

It was then it became obvious that Jacob had known the whole time what was going to happen the night he had left me. He had known the whole time that his heart was going to be ending up as my own. I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders as I sat back on our bed, holding his note to my chest in my hand. I wiped away the tears after a while. I wished I could have seen him and heard his voice again. It had become obvious I had lost my gift to see people who had passed on shortly after my operation and I greatly missed it. But still, I didn't need my gifts to feel he was still with me and there for me whenever I needed him.

"I love you too Jacob, and thank you," I murmured with tears still flowing down my cheeks, placing my hand on my shoulder with feeling his was there. After a moment, I felt the smooth and warmth of his lips on my cheek before he disappeared again. I didn't want him to leave me so soon, but I knew if he had left, he needed to otherwise he still would have been there still with me. I hoped he had found both his mother and Renesmee.

I held his letter to my chest, smiling after a while. I was never going to lose or throw out this letter. It meant so much to me than any other letter or note I had ever received, to still have something of his to keep for the rest of my life, and thanks to Jacob, it was going to be a whole lot longer of a life than what Carlisle had told me almost a month ago now. I couldn't believe how much things had changed just in a month. Never in my life had so much happened in just a month.

As the weeks came and went, I went to see Jacob's grave many times, thanking him each and every time for what he had done for me. I never did ask Embry what the true and full story had been, but I wasn't yet ready to hear it either.

Within those few weeks that followed, I went and seen each and every one of the people who had meant something to Jacob. I had become close friends with Jacob's best friend Quil, his sister Rachel and the one I remember coming up to me in the forest that day both Jacob and I had been hiking, Seth. I learned that he had lost his father when he was just fifteen and that he had become close to Jacob with all the wolf things and the pain of losing someone close to you. I hoped that now he had also lost Jacob, that he wasn't going to go out and do stupid things like Jacob had told me he did when he had lost his mother, but Seth's sister Leah and his mother Sue seemed to be helping him stay on the straight and narrow. I was glad he had them both. Leah seemed to be very understanding of what Jacob had done for me. From what Jacob had told me, she had already had a tough life.

I also went to see Bella. She had been in a total mess after she had lost Renesmee. She and Edward were no longer together, which made me sad to hear. She really couldn't believe what had happened to Jacob. She thought that maybe he had died of a broken heart, but I knew it couldn't have been true, as I now owned his heart.

I didn't really know what to think Rachel would react like when I first went to see her. I wasn't sure if she would want to see me as her brother gave up his life to save me, but when I got there, she couldn't stop crying and hugging me. She was so sweet and caring. We often went shopping together after that day and met up at café's. She truly did believe in my powers I once had and asked me heaps of questions about them. It brought back some incredible memories I had almost forgotten all about. It was nice to finally find someone who understood and believed in what I used to be able to do.

I had visited all of Jacob's family and friends, apart from Sam. Embry had told me about the night of Jacob's death that he thought Sam hadn't given a care about what had happened to Jacob, but I didn't believe that. I thought that maybe Sam was trying to be stay strong for both Jacob and Embry and on the inside; it was ripping him in half. I didn't know much about Sam nor did I know him well, but I did know how a strong man acted when pain hit his life. I knew Sam was one of those strong men, who didn't want to show emotion or especially fear, encase people thought he was no longer strong, just because he showed emotion or cried for someone dear he had lost.

I was glad that Jacob hadn't been like that. He showed emotion and fear, but he did try his best to keep it to himself, until you pulled it out of him by just asking what was wrong.

I was hoping to find out what was wrong with Sam today when I saw him.

As I slowed Jacob's motorbike down in front of Sam's house, I cut the engine and took off my helmet. I looked around for a moment, trying to work out if anyone was home and sure enough, I heard the sound of the front door of the house go and saw Sam walking out of the front door, shaking his head, heading for the forest.

"Hey Sam!" I waved loudly, catching his attention. He looked up to me and then looked back towards the forest. I got off of the bike and met him half way in the middle of the driveway. He smiled slightly down upon me.

"It's nice to see you again Angel," he said evenly.

"You too," I smiled. "It's been too long."

"What brings you here?" he questioned after a moment, with his tone a little more deeper now. I knew that Sam would be able to tell that there was a reason I came to see him. I hadn't ever met him before apart from when he came around to the house the day Jacob and I had arrived back from Seattle.

"I – I wanted to talk to you about Jacob, and Embry." I watched his face turn slightly harder with hearing Jacob's name. I knew he had put on his poker face.

"What about them?"

"I know that Embry thinks you didn't care about what happened with Jacob and I also know that the rest of the pack believe his story too, and won't follow you anymore, but, I don't believe that you didn't care about Jacob."

"Okay?" he nodded, like he didn't care about what they thought – he was acting just like I knew he would.

"I want to prove them wrong. I want the pack together again. Jacob had told me that werewolves were pack animals and vulnerable when they weren't together. He wouldn't want you guys apart just because of something that happened to him."

"They chose their own paths Angel. I don't think it matters now what I thought or think." He half turned away from me and that was when I knew the conversation was getting painful for him. He wanted a way out and he was looking for it quickly. My hand grabbed his wrist, stopping him from going anywhere. I wasn't going anywhere neither until I got the answers I had come for and I knew it wouldn't be long until I had them.

"Well, I do," I said softly but even like Sam spoke. Jacob had explained to me the whole Alpha voice and how it worked on the wolves. Of course I wasn't a wolf nor did I have an Alpha voice, but I knew also authority in a person's tone could make people listen more closely and pay more attention to what they had to say.

"What difference is it going to make Angel? They've left me. There isn't anything more I can do about that."

I shook my head at him. "That's not true. You can admit to Embry and the others you cared about Jacob and what happened to him. You can let your guard down."

His hands started to tremble in small waves at his sides as he bit his lower lip. I wasn't scared or worried about him phasing. "That's not going to happen," he murmured and turned his back on me, walking away quickly. Heading for the forest.

I took in a deep breath, knowing that my own words were going to hurt me and him. "And why not Sam?" I half shouted. "Is it because you're not strong enough to deal with your emotions because of the truth, that you really did care about Jacob, or is it because Embry was right? You didn't care about him? Is it because you wanted him to die, so he wouldn't take place as rightful Alpha again?" My words were low and slow coming out, but my voice stayed even and strong. My own words had been meant for Sam, they cut me up too, to no extent.

Sam stoped dead where he stood with hearing me. He stayed still for a moment and then turned around to face me. Pain covered his face now. I could see it ever so clearly, but still, he was holding most of his pain and fear back.

He shook his head, opening his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He shook his head again. I knew the truth now. I didn't really need to hear it. It had always been there, in the way I knew it had always been. Sam had cared for Jacob, for the rightful Alpha of his pack. He just didn't want to show his weakness. "You're right Angel. I did care for Jacob. He was like my own son and when he became the Alpha, I thought that he may not have been as good as me, because he was new to the whole thing, but I was wrong. He was by far better and I was slightly jealous of that fact. And when he gave me back the title as the pack Alpha, it was like I had to relearn everything again and be as good as Jacob, if not stronger. I miss him. I do. I really do." He stared down to the ground as he said the final words.

I smiled slightly and nodded. "Tell Embry," I whispered, turning my back on him and walking back to Jacob's motorbike. The very minute I had my back turned, I heard a slight sound and turned around to see a black wolf running for the cover of the trees. I hoped I had gotten through to Sam so he knew that he didn't need to be stronger than Jacob. He just needed to be himself and show what he was feeling, instead of been Mr tough guy all the time. That was what made Jacob stronger. He didn't act stronger than he was. I just hoped that the pack would now get back together and be a pack again, like they used to be. I knew that was just how Jacob would have wanted it. He wouldn't want the pack separated just because of something small happening. If he was here, he would have set it straight too.

Within the next few weeks that passed all too quickly, Embry told me the pack had gotten back together again, after Sam explained everything to them. I was so glad to hear that they were back altogether again and looking after their land together.

Each and every night, I dreamt of Jacob. He was always there with me, he told me so himself. He told me that he had met back up with his mother and Renesmee and he hadn't ever been more happier than to have them both back at his side again, but he still wished that he had the rest of his family and friends around him too. But for now, he was just happy to have his mother and imprint.

Everything seemed to be going fine with my new heart. Every week I had a check-up with Carlisle and every week he was impressed with how well I was doing, until one check-up I went in for something other than my heart. Something wasn't right with my stomach. It just didn't feel quite right. But as it turned out to be, it wasn't anything wrong at all. I was pregnant with Jacob's baby. I truly couldn't believe it as I knew Jacob had been careful that one special night of us together, but obvious, it was meant to be. I knew that Jacob had been there the whole time throughout the check-up, as I could just feel his warm presence right beside me, holding my hand. His words from one of my dreams suddenly echoed in my mind. "_Look after yourselves," _he smiled, before I woke up one night. I had thought that he had meant Embry and me, but obviously, he knew better than I even did.

"Looks like Jacob didn't want to leave you alone too long," Carlisle smiled as he turned off the ultrasound machine. I smiled at what he had said. I believed that too. I couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day. I was even smiling while I went grocery shopping in Forks, and I hated grocery shopping. _That devil, _I giggled to myself with thinking of Jacob knowing before me. I couldn't believe he hadn't told me.

With picking up three oranges and placing them in the cart resting on the side of my arm, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see a lady standing behind me. Her hair was jet black and long, with bits of red streaks going through the black. Her eyes were brown and she wore a white summer dress. There was something about her that seemed different to me. I felt like there was almost a distant connection between the two of us and yet I didn't know her.

"Do you mind, if I ask you something?" she asked sweetly.

I smiled and nodded. "Of course not."

"Do you, believe in Mediums?" she questioned softly. Instantly, I felt my heart pick up in speed.

"Y-yes," I stuttered, knowing what was happening right before my eyes, as I had used to do the same very thing. "Yes, I used to be one."

"Before, you had a heart transplant, am I correct?" she questioned with another smile. My hands instantly went to the sides of my face in shock. I nodded without saying anything. I had always wondered what the people I had walked up to and asked random questions to, felt and thought when I got the impossible things right, just by the person standing beside them who had passed on and wanted to give them a message. And now I was one of those people. How was this happening?

I swallowed hard, still in disbelief while nodding my head. "Yes. How did you know that?" I knew it was stupid question, but it was the first thing that had come to my mind to ask her. She smiled again sweetly. No wonder I had felt a distant connection to her.

"Because, there is a man standing beside you, protecting you and wanting you to know that he is always here for you, no matter what. He knows that you've been missing him a lot and that you've dreamt of him a lot – every night in fact, since an accident he had. But he also knows that you sometimes doubt your dreams, encase they are just dreams and not actually him connecting with you."

I kept on nodding with tears falling slowly down my face. Everything she had said was true and only things that Jacob himself would know. "Yes, it's all true," I sobbed, but smiled at the same time. She smiled again and hugged me tightly before taking a step back.

"And he just said that he's looking after you and the baby. Are you . . . pregnant?"

I smiled again and nodded while wiping the tears away. I couldn't get over this. "Yes I am. I just found out a few hours ago."

She smiled widely and held onto my hands. "And the baby is his and so is the heart that he gave you." She spoke now in more like fact than question. "I'm Crystal, by the way."

"Angel," I smiled.

"Do you know the full story, of what happened to him?" she questioned next.

I shook my head slightly. I wasn't sure if I should have known or not and I wasn't sure if Jacob would have been confortable with someone he didn't know knowing his secret. Then I started to wonder if he had brought Crystal here to help me. I was sure that he had brought her to me. He would have known that I had wanted to see him and talk to him while I was awake. "No. I don't and I'm not sure if I do want to."

"He just said that, but he also said that you've been wondering at times what did happen. He keeps saying that you should know the full story."

I nodded and with it, more tears came streaming down my face. "He said he knew what he was doing. He had planned the whole thing since he had known what was wrong with you. He had planned that his heart was going to be yours. He just wasn't quite sure how he was going to do it. But then he worked it out . . . was he a supernatural life form?" she questioned me in a low tone so no one else would hear her. I nodded, not sure what to say.

"A werewolf?" she then asked. I knew Jacob must have told her that. I wouldn't have said it, just encase he didn't want her to know, but obviously he was completely at ease with her knowing the truth, or he wouldn't have said it. I nodded and mouthed a yes.

"And then your ex-boyfriend was a . . . vampire," she stated. "And he was out to get you and Jacob knew that he wouldn't stop until he was either dead or had you."

I nodded again and wondered how Tyron had suddenly come into the conversation and what he had to do with anything now. I had a hunch with what he had to do with things, but I really didn't want to accept it, even for a second.

Crystal took in a deep breath, looked down to the floor of the grocery store and then looked back up to me. "Jacob knew what the night was going to result in if he went out. He had a text from Sam, saying that they had found Tyron and he knew that if he was going to save you, he had to do it there and then, because he heals very quickly, nothing in our world would be able to allow him to help you.

"Tyron was playing games with Embry, Sam and him. He attack Tyron and was bitten. He was scared, until he remembered the reason he believed he had come into your life and then he saw Renesmee by his side. He didn't want treatment to save himself. He just wanted you to be okay. He kept telling the doctors and his friends that he wanted to be cold, because he knew that was going to reserve his organs better, and he kept telling Sam to get his license, as he didn't know if he was still able to be a donor without it. He knew what was coming, even with hearing the hope Sam had for him with his blood neutralising in time for him to survive. He thinks that Sam blames himself for what happened that night as Sam was the one who texted him about Tyron."

The heavier tears slowly came down my face with hearing the full story. I couldn't believe how detailed she had put it – like she had been there and seen it all for herself first hand. I had been afraid that Tyron had something to do within Jacob's death. "So-so Tyron is . . ." I paused, scared to finish the sentence encase it wasn't true.

"Tyron is gone. Sam finished him off after he had attacked Jacob. Jacob thinks that if he hadn't been bitten, he would still be alive today."

I nodded my head, trying to accept the truth the best I could. I looked up to Crystal and smiled slightly as she brought me back into her arms to comfort me. "Jacob just said to give you a hug," she whispered with a smile. I just had to giggle with hearing that. It was just like him. After a moment she pulled away and smiled down on me again. "Now, I want you to call me if you need anything or have any questions what so ever," she said softly, handing me a business card with a number on it. I looked down to it and then looked back up to her and nodded. "I will. Thank you so much Crystal."

"No problem. And look after that sweet little baby boy of yours too," she beamed and walked away.

Her words only just sank into my head once she had disappeared altogether. What did she mean by baby boy? I guessed she meant my baby, Jacob's baby, but how could she already know the sex of it? It wasn't old enough to know the sex yet. Maybe Jacob had told her?

Before long, seven and a half months had passed and with it, my baby boy Jake was born healthy and on time. I never did find out the sex of him when I could have. I wanted it to be a surprise, but when he came it wasn't really that big of a surprise that it was in fact a boy. I always had the feeling that Jacob's child would be a boy and for that reason, I had to name him after his father.

Both Rachel and Embry ended up calling Jake, Jakey as both of them used to have the nickname Jake for Jacob. They always loved playing with Jake whenever they saw us. Billy also loved spending time with his grandson. I thought that Jake was really filling a whole in both Rachel and Billy's life since Jacob had been gone.

I was relieved he wasn't born with the same heart defect that I had been born with. It had been a great worry for me to even think that he may have had a similar life to me. But he was born a healthy baby, with Jacob's russet skin, chocolate eyes, black hair and bright smile. He made anyone smile who saw him. I couldn't get over just how much he was alike his father.

**Five Years Later**

I was driving home from work with Jake sitting in his car seat beside me when I suddenly just had to stop the car and look up at the sky. I hadn't been taking much notice to the way the sky was looking until we came over a small rise.

The sun was setting, lighting the sky pinks, purples and oranges with the full moon rising at the same time with stars abruptly appearing here and there. The sun and moon reminded me of Jacob, how he was the sun to some – with bringing the warmth of life to them – and then, being the moon to me – lighting up the darkness of it being midnight.

After a moment of staring up at the summer sky, I undid my and Jake's seat belts and walked outside, looking around at the sky. At a moment, I leaned down to Jake's side and held him in my arms while still staring up at the sky. "Look up at the moon and sun Jake," I murmured to him. He instantly he looked up to them and then back to me in question without saying anything. "It's Daddy," I whispered to him.

"Why is Daddy the moon and sun, mummy?" he asked softly, making me smile.

"Because, he always brought life and light into the lives of those he was around honey."

"Oh. When will I meet Daddy?"

I smiled at him. He always asked where Jacob was and when he could meet him. I always told him the truth. It would be too hard to explain life to a five year old, even one as smart as Jake. "One day Jake. One day."

"When's one day?" he asked then, looking up to me.

I couldn't help but laugh at his curious questions. He wanted to learn everything and anything he could. He even loved motorbikes and cars, and wanted to pull them apart and put them back together again just like his father. He had even pulled one of his toy trucks to pieces and put it back together with glue by himself as Embry watched him in amazement.

"In this case honey, I think it will be many, many years away before you meet Daddy, but you never know. He might visit you instead," I smiled. I knew that Jacob had visited his son many times now. I often heard Jake talking in his sleep, saying Daddy in a playful tone.

"What was Daddy like Mummy? What did he look like?"

I smiled at my son's questions upon the subject of his father. I had always encouraged him to ask questions about his father and keep Jacob in his memories. Even know Jake hadn't met his father, I tried to make it like he had in as many ways possible. I had even gotten Embry to teach me the Quileute legends and stories so I could tell them all to Jake, just like Jacob would have and would have wanted.

As I kept watching the sunset and the moon rise, I heard a howl not far away from us and knew it was Embry. He was always keeping an eye on both Jake and I. He was never far away from us, even now when he had his own son, he wasn't far away and he was always around for us.

"He had the same warm, russet skin as you Jake. The same eyes and smile, and he was tall and fit too, with short black hair, just like yours too. He was very sweet and brave. He saved our lives sweetie. Without him, neither of us would be here now."

"That was kind of him," Jake smiled. I smiled back down on him, holding him close to me.

"It was sweetie and I'll always love him for it."

* * *

Hey guys,

Hoped you all have enjoyed my story Heartbeat. This was the final chapter of the story and I hope I haven't made this chapter seemed rushed or anything. I wasn't quite sure how to write how much time had passed. I could have had a lot more things happen and dragged out the story for a heap more chapters, but then I would have been getting away from the whole plot of the story and idea too.

If you have enjoyed this story, I suggest watching Will Smith's movie, Seven Pounds, as it is similar in many ways to this story. I had watched it two years ago and was touched by the story, as I could relate to it on many levels.

The music I listened to while writing this story also had a very big impact. Fix You – Coldplay,

Believe – Cher,

Dancing with Tears in My Eyes – Ke$ha,

Firework – Katy Perry, and My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion.

I want to thank all of you who have reviewed and commented. I have really enjoyed hearing all of your feedback! It truly means a lot to me.

Don't forget to check out the official banner of Heartbeat and other images from Heartbeat via my facebook fan page's album.

http: / www (dot) facebook (dot) com / media / set / ?set=a (dot) 195896157108806 (dot) 46921 (dot) 195890483776040&l = 0bddca1ddf

Member of facebook or not, that link will work for all.

And don't forget to like my page for all updates, images, videos, spoilers and news on my fan fictions and upcoming fan fictions! Just search Sky's Fan Fiction Page on facebook and you should be able to find it easily.

For all of you Bella and Jacob fans, put me on your author alert's list, as I've got a brand new fan fiction that I'll be posting within the next few days!

Here's a preview!

**The Twilight Saga: The New Dawn**

After receiving Edward's note, Jacob runs off to New York when he can no longer take the hurt and pain of Bella not choosing him. Once in New York, he finds a new life of trouble, drinking and partying hard just to get Bella out of his head for a while. And not to mention, he finds a new friend, Skyla – a female werewolf who is new to the wolf world and has a heavy and painful past.

By running off, Jacob thought he was no longer hurting Bella, but little did he know, that he actually hurt her more. After finding out he had left, Bella didn't feel the same way anymore. She had lost her sun, and called off the wedding with not knowing what to do or feel anymore without her best friend.

After two years, Jacob comes home, thinking that Bella is long gone with Edward or either dead, or a vampire. But is she?

Hope to see you guys over on my new and upcoming fan fiction, The Twilight Saga the New Dawn!

*hugs*

– Sky x


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